6 A Worthless Nothing Like You?

CHAPTER 6

A Worthless Nothing Like You?

Half an hour until the competition starts. I take off my headset and make my way to the bathroom. The audience so far is pitifully malnourished compared to the bustling crowd at the archery contest. I'm sleep deprived but my nerves keep me alert. A glasses-wearing man in a suit is passing out Mad Bull's, 24 oz cans, for free! I take one and greedily take a few gulps. I hope he sets an extra one at my station.

I exit the double-doors and I almost drop my fresh can. Mitsuko is leaning against the wall near the student council office. She's still wearing her blue kimono and black hakama pants. Her gold medal hangs gloriously from her neck.

I have to walk past her to get to the bathroom… I consider holding it in, but I can't let my bladder jeopardize my chance of winning. I summon the courage to walk, keeping my eyes downcast…

"Oh, if it isn't Joe, the delinquent…"

I want to correct her for mispronouncing my name, but I keep walking.

"I saw you watching me," Mitsuko says accusingly. I stop. She noticed me? "Pretty creepy, I gotta admit."

I formulate a defense. I take too long and Mitsuko cuts me off. "So, what are you doing in there anyway? A gaming tournament? Are you in the loser bracket?" Mitsuko grins at her own wit. Her teeth are bright pearls with sharp canines.

"You really think you stand a chance?" she says, her voice getting louder and more scornful. "A worthless nothing like you? I'd probably do better." She pokes her gold medal with her blue fingertip, her face glittering with pride.

I tense my lips, gathering the courage to speak. I hope I don't stutter. "Do you play?"

"Huh?" Mitsuko looks at me with one eye, her blonde hair covering the other. She looks confused.

"Digital Sin Online?" I ask nervously.

Mitsuko scoffs. "Do I look like a dork to you? I'm not into wasting my life behind a screen, unlike some people." She crosses her arms and looks down the hall.

Every word she speaks is like a bite wound filled with poison. I suddenly feel dehydrated and dizzy. I remember my Mad Bull and take a sip. I feel so awkward. Her blue eyes go back to me with a hint of curiosity.

"You didn't answer my question. Do you think you can win?"

"I don't have a choice…"

"Oh? And why is that?" She pushes off from the wall and rests her thumbs on her kimono belt.

"Because…" I don't want to tell her the truth. I'm too ashamed.

"Because!" she repeats with high-pitched mockery. "Spit it out, loser!"

My confidence has retreated, smothered by her indignation. She closes her eyes and sighs with annoyance.

"Yup, you're definitely going to lose. You know that, right?"

Her comments boil my anger. "I'm not going to lose…"

"Deluuusional, that's what you are. You don't even have a reason to win, soooo yeah, get ready to fail. Just like everything else you do, right? Might as well save yourself from embarrassment and drop out now while you—"

I can't take it anymore. I grit my teeth. "If I don't win, I'll be homeless!"

I speak louder than I meant to. I look around and see heads turned in my direction. I'm embarrassed. I hurry to the bathroom. There's people smoking their vape pens at the sink. I retreat into a stall… I hate it here… I absolutely hate this place…

On my way out I see Mitsuko in the hallway, now with her popular friends.

"Eww, gross," the volleyball girl says.

The cheerleader chimes in. "Oh my gawd, is he in the gaming tournament? Of course he is. What a fucking loser!"

The girls giggle. Mitsuko doesn't say anything. I want to die.

15 minutes until we start. A few spectators have trickled in. No one is here for me, as usual. I reclaim my seat. There's a cold 24 oz Mad Bull waiting for me. I chug my open can, tuck it beneath my chair then crack open the new one.

My heart is pounding. I'm tired of feeling this way… She doesn't think I can win?

I'll show her…