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Katsuki can remember when he knew he was, inarguably, fucked forever.

It was easy for a little while. To separate it. Under the cover of darkness, only on the weekends, only with their hands and sometimes mouths, it was easy enough to pretend it never happened. Like some kind of lucid dream that neither one of them was an active participant in. Whatever the fuck it was, it worked. It was about a year into it. They've been fooling around, spending every weekend together pretty fucking consistently, and Katsuki has to admit it was… pretty fucking dope.

He couldn't ask for a better fuck buddy. Deku has a great body, lean and agile, his tongue worked goddamn miracles, he was always down to fuck and, best of all, he was very, very discreet. He didn't ask for shit outside their weekends together. Sometimes, Katsuki sort of wished he would. Katsuki knows he fucked up their relationship in middle school; he bullied the kid, and there's no getting away from that. He can use his parent's divorce as an excuse or whatever, but it didn't matter. It also didn't help that around that same time, he started to notice… feelings, desires, other confusing shit that he just couldn't process. Deku was the source of that shit, and Katsuki had to get away from him. So he did.

As much as he hates to admit it, something warm and affectionate started to bloom for the nerd in high school. There's not a lot of people that he knows that could stand head to head with him – solving complex equations easily in calculus, connecting complicated electrical concepts in physics, and even having some really beautiful and insightful thoughts about their reading in AP Lit! He did it all looking casual as fuck, with his dumbass superhero outfits, giant hoodies, gaudy red shoes and untamable green hair. It was, for some goddamn reason, overwhelmingly sexy. Yes, this little punk kid who dresses like a skateboarder and spends all his time playing video games and obsessing over comic books is smart, thoughtful, and fucking adorable. Look, Katsuki's accepted it. He's gay. Its kind of annoying, with all the stupid extras falling all over him, just begging to suck his cock, when all he wants is… that seaweed-looking, lean-muscled, freckled, dimpled motherfucker.

It came to a head when, for some stupid fucking reason, his dad and Izuku's mom agreed that the little fuck stays the weekend at their house. He's gotta thank Inko Midoriya at some point. He didn't know what he was expecting, didn't know if he read the room right, but shit. The second he heard that nerd breathing hard, tell-tale sound of skin against skin as he jerked off literally right next to his bed, Katsuki couldn't handle it. He was hard instantaneously, so he thought, you know? Fuck it. He shot his shot.

And fucking home run, man.

It was chill for the first couple of weeks. Mostly just jerking each other off. And then, one night, that cheeky little shit wordlessly pulled down his pants and sucked the life out of him. And then, for a while, they went that direction. Jesus, what didn't they do? Katsuki found out some fun things about himself that year. That getting his ass ate lives up to the hype. That he likes waking up the next morning with secret marks all over his body. That he likes the feel of Deku's stubby fingers on his dick more than anything. Like, he has to imagine its that fucker's hand when he jerks off. And, uh. Worst of all? He might be developing feelings for the little shit. Like… romantic ones.

Cool, that he could handle. What's suppressing a little emotion to keep the best fucking arrangement of the century going? And it really, really was the best. Katsuki's never been so relaxed in his goddamn life. He was sleeping better, scoring better on tests, his batting average has skyrocketed through the goddamn roof. He finished the school year as the student with the highest GPA, easily overtaking the spot for valedictorian from whatever extra thought they could even remotely fucking live up to him. 

First weekend of summer break after junior year, Deku fucking ruins it. Of course he does, he's a goddamn Deku, and he can't just enjoy a good thing. They have ground rules for a reason. They don't kiss. They don't fuck. They don't talk about it.

Around midnight, when Katsuki is sure Inko Midoriya is asleep, he climbs into the other boy's bed. Deku's already got his pants pulled down, which is fantastic. Easy access. Katsuki reaches for the green boy's cock, but instead, Deku redirects him to… his ass. His completely slicked up ass. Katsuki's interested. They hadn't done any of that penetrative shit yet, and obviously, since they don't talk about it, Katsuki was fine with it. Its not gay if it's just hands or mouths. What's a bro-job or a bro-gasm between old pals, huh? Probably what that dumbass Deku was thinking.

This shit? Very, VERY gay. Deku directs Katsuki's fingers to his ass, and Katsuki isn't going to say no. If shitty Deku thinks he can handle this, then Katsuki sure as fuck isn't backing down. He's not too chickenshit to do this! He's not! Even if his mouth is dry and his heart is racing and he's probably gonna nut just from the prospect of fucking this green bitch's tight little ass.

He digresses. Katsuki's tentative, finger circling Izuku's hole, before he takes his hand and shoves his index and middle finger forcibly into Deku's mouth. That good fucking boy sucks and licks at his fingers, generously coating him with spit, and its game fucking on. Katsuki reaches right back, wet fingers teasing enticingly around Deku's leaking hole. Just when Katsuki swears the nerd is about to curse at him, one slicked finger penetrates the muscular rim, and Izuku jumps at the contact, sighing in pleasure.

Feeling Deku shake against him releases some kind of feral beast inside Katsuki. Suddenly, he's on him, all teeth, licking at his earlobe then sucking into his neck, biting hard. And the little shit doesn't let up, he's straight up fucking himself on Katsuki's fingers, and it shouldn't be so goddamn hot, but it is. Oh, it is. Katsuki's a patient man. But right the fuck now, watching Deku fucking back into his two fingers like his life depends on it, well - he's having a difficult time fucking waiting. His hips move in tandem, his clothed erection rubbing deliciously against Izuku's ass.

When his third finger got introduced, Izuku nearly cried. His hand reached desperately for Katsuki's still clothed cock, nudging his pants down.

"Please, please, please…" Izuku whispered, trying to be quiet as the squelch of Katsuki's fingers filled the room.  Okay, ground rule one broken.

Katsuki pauses. Sure, why not? Its not like his whole fucking world is falling apart. He leans up and over Izuku's ear.

"You have condoms…?" he asks, heart in his throat. Katsuki knows he needs to stop this. Knows, from the very bottom of his heart. They don't fuck. Ground rule number two. There was probably a good reason for that, though Katsuki can't remember it for the life of him.

"Don't want… you're my first." Izuku whispers back, and shit, well.  

Katsuki pulls down his pants like they're on fire, and Izuku's hands come out of nowhere, slicking him up with some kind of lube. In the dark, its hard to find the right entrance, but once he's got his throbbing cock lined up at Izuku's eager hole, the other boy's breath just stops. Katsuki wants to comfort him, caress him, make him relax, but he doesn't know how. Its not them, to be tender. No matter how much he actually wants to be. Sometimes. Infrequently. Whatever.

Tentatively, he guides his cock inside, overwhelmed by the heat and tightness of Izuku's hole. He's sucking him in, tiny puffs of errant breaths leaving his counterpart, the air between them humid and stiflingly hot. Slowly, Katsuki bottoms out, groaning as softly as he can against Deku's ear. He's very much aware that Deku's mom is sleeping in the room next door, but not making noise, not moaning, is not going to be an easy task with the way Deku's soft insides are hugging his eager cock.

With a short movement, he moves his hips out, and gently rocks them back in. Izuku honest to god gasps, and Katsuki wraps his arms around him. To his endless surprise and excitement, the little fuck actually intertwines their fingers and rocks back into him. The sound of flesh hitting flesh is incredibly loud to both of their ears, and with movement, Katsuki's aware that the bed is creaking. But right now? He doesn't fucking care if Inko Midoriya walks in on them. He's going to fuck her son right through this bed, so help him god. And its not just Katsuki that's feeling it. In just a few thrusts, he can easily tell that Izuku's unraveling.

He must be hitting something just right, because the boy next to him is shuddering, his short little breaths devolving into gasps, then yelps, then a straight up strangled moans. He's being too loud, and Katsuki pulls on Izuku's shoulder to tell him as much, but is met with a sight that he's never going to forget. Like, he still sees it sometimes when he closes his eyes. That close, even in the dark, he can see the flush of Izuku's pink cheeks sprinkled with those beautiful fucking freckles, his hair stuck to his forehead with sweat, his eyes hooded and lips, spit-slicked, mouth open in a needy O. There's a reason they don't generally do this face to face.

Fuck. Fuck. Deku's looking at him like he fucking wants him, like Katsuki's responsible for his pleasure, like he'd do anything for Katsuki. He's looking at Katsuki like he's his whole world.

Katsuki can't fucking help himself. He slams their mouths together, needing to taste that spit, needing to swallow the smaller boy's moans whole, needing more of him, all of him, everything.

Oh yeah, and they definitely don't kiss. Ground rule number three. That, if you remember, is all the rules.

But once Katsuki kisses Deku, he can't stop. Deku meets him with tongue, eager and hungry and so fucking delicious it makes Katsuki's head swim. In the privacy of each other's mouths, Katsuki  moans right the fuck back, hot air, spit and tongues between them to the point its impossible to tell where Deku stops and where Katsuki begins. As Katsuki's hips start to stutter, Izuku just moans "Inside," into his mouth and he's cumming in the ass of his childhood friend, one hand reaching around to jerk him off, catching Izuku's own strangled cry of release.

After that, their arrangement went off the fucking rails.  

For one, it stopped being just during the weekends.

Katsuki would shove the nerd into the bathroom and suck him off in the middle of the day. They'd make out every chance they'd get. One debate in AP Political Science and an exchange of heated looks and the two of them would be fucking like bunnies in an abandoned supply room. They literally couldn't keep their hands off each other. Katsuki kept telling himself that they were just fooling around. That they're just fuck buddies. Katsuki kept telling himself that he was in control.

He wasn't. He fucking loved being with Deku. Loved his sharp wit, loved that he gave as good as he got - both in school and in the bedroom. Stockroom. Janitor's closet. Back of his car. Where-the-fuck-ever. Loved that glazed look in his eyes when he wanted him. He couldn't stop thinking about Deku. He wanted to spend every moment with him, wanted to kiss him and hold his hand and never, ever, ever fucking be away from him.

And then, he got into the college of his dreams.

He fucked Izuku so hard that night, he doesn't know how the nerd walked the next day. He made a night of it. Finally eighteen, he rented a hotel for them, because he was fucking tired of keeping quiet. He jacked a bottle of wine from his dad's place, they had a nice dinner (Deku less so. He was always such a considerate bottom. Katsuki was truly blessed.) And then Katsuki ravaged the motherfucker for three hours straight. It was simultaneously one of the best and worst days of Katsuki's life.

Because the nerd was staying local. He's fucking brilliant, would have easily gotten into MIT if he wanted to, but he didn't. And its not like Katsuki asked the little green fuck to come with him. Come with him to Boston. So they can… fuck, he doesn't know. Be together?

But no. The nerd is staying. And Katsuki is moving away. And whatever the fuck was going on between them for the past two years would be over.

Katsuki's not too insecure to admit that 'that shit fucking hurted, bro,' as his idiot friends would say. 

Whatever. He doesn't give a fuck. He's Katsuki fucking Bakugou. He's the first person out of their no-name school to go to an Ivy League. He's going on a full scholarship. The whole fucking town basically throws him a parade when he's leaving. Deku is there.

Katsuki wanted to do something. Kiss him. Hug him. Tell him how he really feels. Anything. Just fucking something.

Instead, he did nothing. And its been fine.

He's been fine! Better than fine. As mentioned, he's Katsuki fucking Bakugou, and he's a baller. Sure, being at Harvard may have humbled him. Sure, he was hot shit in their home town, but there, he was a fucking nobody. But he's carved out a pretty good fucking life in Boston, even if it required him literally sifting through the garbage that was his ego, clawing and biting his way to finally finding air. And, you know what? He's pretty fucking happy. He enjoys playing baseball with his dumbass buddies (it became very clear to Katsuki that Kaminari Denki, Kirishima Eijiro and Sero Hanta were admitted on a sports scholarship and not for the one brain cell between the three of them.) He enjoys the occasional kegger and one-night stand. He enjoys being independent, unafraid to be out and just fucking happy.  

The last two summers, he chose to stay in Boston and do research fellowships. You know, adding on to his resume for the rapidly approaching medical school application cycle. Katsuki figured, this summer, he'll take off to study for the MCAT. Too many distractions in Boston, he decides, so he'll spend the two months at home.

His dad was so goddamn thrilled at the news, Katsuki almost felt guilty about not coming back earlier. He even says that he has something major and important to tell Katsuki. But he'll tell him in person.

So, yeah. Katsuki's back in his home town. Seeing his childhood bedroom definitely doesn't make him think of Deku, who he definitely doesn't think about in general. Hasn't thought about. Definitely doesn't sometimes get highlight reels of their two years fucking each other's brains out in his dreams or when he's trying to get hard to fuck those no-name twinks in previously mentioned one night stands.

His dad dresses up in one of his nicer button downs. The nagging bad feeling starts when his dad says they can just walk to the place that they're having dinner. Katsuki knows sure as shit that there are no restaurants in walking area of their apartment, so there's that. As his dad and him silently walk a road that he's walked hundreds of times, the bad feeling intensifies.

Katsuki is just about crawling out of his skin when his father knocks on the door of the Midoriya apartment. Deku's adorable little mom, all green and smiley hugs him like she has any fucking right to put her hands on him, and Katsuki has to admit, he's freaking the fuck out.

Its fine. He's fine. He's been sitting on the couch, clenching his teeth and his fists, vibrating so much that he's pretty sure it counts as a full scale workout. Its fine. This is fine. Stupid fucking Deku is probably away at school right now. Wishful thinking, of course, as he can see five (five?!) plates set out at the dinner table. He doesn't know where the fuck to sit down, so he sits at the head of the table. Why the fuck are his dad and Deku's mom sitting next to each other, eyes sparkling, having this easy back and forth between them? Why the fuck are both of them smiling so much? Its fucking unnerving. Considering those two look a little bit like him and Deku in like 50 years, if they both got run over by a bus, Katsuki can't help but be creeped the fuck out.  

Food looks dope, though. His dad is a fucking shitty cook, so the spread that Inko Midoriya has on the dinner table is something that Katsuki is pretty damn excited about. He can even see that she made tantanmen, his favorite, so the creepiness between her and his dad is temporarily forgiven.  

He almost forgets about those additional two table settings when he hears Inko Midoriya confirm the fucking nightmare that he's about to experience. 'Deku, dinner time!'

He freezes. Every muscle in his body decides to go into a state of stasis. No. He did not sign up for this shit. He can't see Deku of all fucking people! How would he even explain that? 'Hey, pops, can we not have dinner with the Midoriyas? Deku and I fucked each other constantly for years. Like, whatever hole he's got, I've probably filled it with my spunk. We didn't even date, dude, we sincerely just fucked each other silly, although I might actually have had romantic feelings for him. It actually took me a little while to get over him. Full homo. Also I'm gay.'

And, if this couldn't get any fucking worse…

Deku walks in. Its fucking Deku. Taller, somehow more buff, handsome, freckles and dimples and sunshine, his smile so bright Katsuki wishes he had some sunglasses, followed by a extremely round-faced girl giggling and holding on to his hand.

Deku is looking at him like he crawled out of the grave, and Katsuki feels like he might as well have.

"Whats wrong, Deku?"

Katsuki's eyes widen and his jaw drops. He can't have heard what he thinks he just fucking heard. This is some Twilight Zone shit. They lock eyes for the first time in three years and Katsuki's entire universe implodes. Double fuck. Quadruple fuck. Fuck to the nth degree.

Did he mention, fuck?

You see, here's the fucking problem. He might not have been entirely truthful earlier.

When he said that he did have romantic feelings, just fucking looking at Deku right now is revealing that he does have them. Currently. In the present.

Shit. He's still not over Deku.