Is this a joke?

Hiro skipped on the funeral and sent Shadow Clones all over the Village as he started repairing everything himself as the rest of the village was at the funeral. He really didn't want to see that old fart paraded as a hero.

Hiro let his entire Shadow Army out, the Humanoid ones, and made them help repair the city. At this rate the village would be repaired by the time everyone got back. He was going to originally make the city better... but how long would that take, plus he would be exposing himself to all these people that he was, in fact, a ninja and one of the strongest people in the city.

Then they would start treating him differently and then he would be dragging into the Ninja corps and then they'd make him Hokage and then he would have a ton of paperwork. It's a slippery slope. He just wanted to chill and train some kids, not start taking care of an entire god damn village that gets attacked every other day.

Are you kidding? It's a nightmare!

Imagine.

One day, you're sitting in your Hokage chair and boom! Some guy shows up wanting to destroy the village and you find out he was the previous Hokage's cousin's sister's brother's aunt's father's great uncle twice removed and when he was in Konoha, he got hit by a falling broom.

How would you handle that situation?

Next thing you know, the Village is destroyed because of poor broom placement.

In short, Hokage is overrated.

He fixed the village and took everything back before going to his store and sleeping at the counter. Originally, he was going to put in an Arc reactor, fortify the buildings, make a medical ninja training facility, etc.

Not necessary, sleep is better.

The next day slashed yesterday and took over, starting a new era of peace in the sky kingdom.

Hiro was selling up a storm to all the ninja, who saw his presentation. He almost went out of stock! His entire store was ransacked! He couldn't believe it! Sarutobi really was an unlucky star!

The day after he dies, his store gets literally endless customers.

What a happy day!

Sakura helped out, selling things and acting cute, Isabella ran the counter with Mittens, Hiro was in the back pumping out Kunai and Shuriken, and Naruto was bringing them out as fast as they were being made.

Zerotwo was sitting by the side and making sure nobody stole anything.

It's a family business after all.

Naruto was getting taught while Hiro made weapons and he shuttled them back and forth. All in all it was a hectic day. The sales started dying down and eventually everyone left, satisfied.

Hiro came out of the back room and said "What's the damage." Isabella used her fingers and said "135,765,360 Ryo, Baba!" Hiro said "Hyenas!" Zerotwo looked around and giggled "You sold everything though, Darling."

Naruto jumped up and down saying "We're rich! Haha!" Sakura bonked him saying "It's dad's money, not yours!" Naruto rubbed his head and squatted saying "Ow! It's all the same! We're a family anyways!"

Hiro took a deep breath and said "I have another business idea." everybody looked at him and he said "New Ninja clothes, better fashion, more protection." Zerotwo's face fell and she said "You're working yourself to the bone with one store, you want another one!?"

Hiro nodded saying "When the kids get married, what am I going to leave them? Nothing?" the kids was stunned and they clenched their fists, tearing up. Zerotwo sighed and said "You... really... you're just..." she sighed again and said "Please take care of your health, Darling."

Hiro patted his chest and said "I'm healthier than a horse!" his fist made a 'Dong~' sound and Zerotwo laughed before bringing the emotional kids back home.

She came back and Hiro said "I just need a time zone in the forging and Alchemy rooms, as strong as possible." Zerotwo left her strongest bubble and Hiro sent 4 Shadow Clones with instructions before going home to sleep as the Shadow Clones worked through the night.

God knows how long they were inside there.

The next morning

Naruto, Isabella, Sakura, and Mittens went out for morning training, dragging Hiro with them. He trained with them for an hour and then brought them to Teuchi's ramen shop. Teuchi said "Hiro! Business is good now I see! Haha!" Hiro smirked and said "I saw the line outside yesterday, Teuchi. Maybe it's time to make the shop bigger? Have you given in and decided to take my offer?"

Teuchi sighed and said "I don't get you, I give you a free meal and suddenly you want to build me an entire restaurant with a new kitchen?" Hiro smiled and said "I'm just returning the favor, Teuchi. I was really hungry that day, you saved my life!" Teuchi rolled his eyes and said "The usual?"

Hiro gave him a thumbs up and said "4 of them. I got rich over night. Haha!" Teuchi chuckled and said "Coming right up." the 4 ate happily and Jiraya showed up.

The 4 turned to him and they all had cheeks stuffed with ramen, looking the exact same. Jiraya felt his mouth twitch as he said "Good morning?" they all gulped and said "Good morning." Jiraya complained "What is this bit? It's kinda scaring me."

Hiro laughed and Naruto asked "Pervy Sage, what are you doing here?" Jiraya said "I came to get you, and talk to your dad." Hiro looked at Jiraya in confusion and Naruto said "Have some ramen! Dad got rich yesterday!"

Hiro really wanted to beat the kid as Jiraya instantly appeared next to Hiro saying "Rich, eh?! Wanna spare me a few million?" Hiro almost beat Jiraya as he said "What do you need a few million for?" Jiraya said seriously "Research." Hiro almost fell on the ground.

Jiraya joined for breakfast and they all ate together.

Hiro went back to the store after sending Naruto to pack his stuff. He sent Isabella and Sakura to go help him as he wanted to talk to Jiraya. He opened the store door and let the people in, getting all the items from the forge and alchemy rooms.

He didn't know how long they were in there, but there were so many Kunai, Shuriken, potions, etc. that he couldn't even count them all! He stocked the shelves as Jiraya stalled the ninja. Hiro finished and started selling stuff as he talked with Jiraya in the forge room, leaving a Shadow Clone to man the cash register.

Jiraya said seriously "You fixed the village during the 3rd's funeral?" Hiro lit a cigarette and gave Jiraya one as he said "Yeah." Jiraya said "I thought so... The Elders want me to go get Tsunade, that's where I'm bringing the kid. You know I took him as my student right?" Hiro nodded and said "Yep. Good too because you're much better than me when it comes to technique."

Jiraya said "I don't doubt it... But in terms of everything else. I'm nothing." he exhaled a mouthful of smoke and said "You know the Kyuubi is inside Naruto?" Hiro nodded and said "Yeah..." he suddenly remembered something and sighed "It's a shame..."

Jiraya was silent and Hiro added "If I got a hold of that Gaara kid... Naruto would've gotten the 1 tail as well." he clicked his tongue in pity and Jiraya laughed saying "He has a hard enough time controlling the Kyuubi chakra as is, if you add another tailed beast on top of it..."

He clicked his tongue and added "I'm interested how you got the kid's Chakra control so good." Hiro smirked and said "I left the 5 pronged seal on and forced him to train his Chakra control. If he has control over the chaotic Chakra then when it's calm, wouldn't he be an expert?"

Jiraya punched his palm and said "I knew it! Damn! Why didn't I think of it!" Hiro chuckled and said "You're researching all the time..." Jiraya coughed and changed the subject as he said "I want to know what happened to 3rd."

Hiro got serious and said "He killed himself." Jiraya was silent and Hiro explained "He used a Jutsu to seal the 1st, 2nd, and Orochimaru's arms at the cost of his own life." he was still a bit angry about it actually, Jiraya sighed and said "What do you think?"

Hiro laughed and said "Why are you asking me?" Jiraya gave him a disdainful look saying "I can tell a mysterious expert when I see one. I may be old, but I'm not blind." Hiro sighed and said "Tsunade would be a nice change of pace to the village, but she's just a big chest no brained bimbo. You would be better as Hokage..."

He chuckled and said "But you don't want it. Nobody else does, so drag Tsunade in for the fun I guess..." Jiraya coughed and chuckled saying "I don't need that headache." Hiro chuckled and said "Me too! Hahaha!" he shook his head and said "Plus, I have my hands full with 3 kids. Who knows when that Edgy kid is gonna come knocking on my door. Then I'll have 4!"

Jiraya laughed and patted his shoulder saying "Isn't it your fault? Who told you to start adopting?" Hiro looked depressed and said "I don't run an orphanage, okay?!" Jiraya laughed and said "That's not what it looks like to me~!" Hiro kicked him out of his forge room saying "Get out of her, ya damn Pervy sage!"

Jiraya laughed and ran out saying "We'll be back!" Hiro waved and said "Yeah, yeah! Teach him something useful." Jiraya gave a thumbs up and left with Naruto, going to find Tsunade.

Hiro left the store in the hands of his Shadow clone and flashed through town. He appeared behind the shark man, Kisame, and ripped Samehada out of his hands before disappearing again. The group was stunned at the missing sword and Kisame was the most confused out of them all!

Hiro reappeared back at the Store and returned to the forge room, he took out Samehada and slapped it saying "Shut up." as he released his pressure on the sword, who cowered in fear. Hiro said "Forget about that shark guy. You listen to me now...." his voice turned menacing and he said "Or else."

Samehada nodded like a dog and Hiro fed it some of his Chakra, the sword instantly changing tune and becoming obedient. Hiro smirked and patted the sword like a dog as he said "Try some of this..." as he fed it mana.

The sword devoured the mana and started trembling before turning into a dark blue scaly dog with a yellow tail and Skull tip. It had a row of sharp teeth and licked Hiro's hand. Hiro was stunned and looked at Samehada saying "Hey... Are you serious right now..."

Samehada barked and waved it's tail happily, looking at Hiro, who's eyes were twitching. He left the forge and Samehada followed him like a puppy. He sat behind the counter and took the Shadow Clone back as all the customers left, the surge was good, now everyone would only come once in a while, hopefully.

He leaned back and closed his eyes to sleep, Samehada jumped into his lap and curled up, falling asleep on Hiro and subtly absorbing his Mana and Chakra.