XVII. Her

"You're Four, I'm Five, and Ari is Six. She's younger than me!"

"Ari?" Diego asked.

"Choi Ari," I clenched my jaw. "It's her Korean name."

"She's younger than you? How do you know?" Silas asked.

I gave him a bitch-be-for-real glare, "I was raised by the one who gave birth to me and her, dumbass, that's how. And eomma, made of her entire life to remind me that I was the oldest sister. Besides," I bit my bottom lip, trying to hold my emotions at bay, "halmeoni told me I was born with my eyes open, different from Ari. My eyes are blue, hers ain't."

He blinked, "Halmeoni?"

"You are pronouncing it wrong," I clicked my tongue. "Do you not know Korean? Not even a bit? Have you never watched a Kdrama?"

My brother blushed, "I did, but it's different."

"So, no Korean?" I frowned, trying not to judge, but failing no short of majestically.

"I'm the only one of the kids around our age in the family, that is fluent in Korean, ajumma," the idiot purred. "And my siblings are also the only ones out of the kids. I'm also the only one fluent in Bulgarian."

So, they do consider themselves a big family. I was right. "Well, that's a pity, ahjussi," I scoffed without looking at him. "Eomma, appa, halmeoni, harabeoji, mean respectively, mom, dad, grandma, grandpa. Eomeoni and abeoji, mean mother and father. Noona is how a boy call an older sister, or an slightly older girl they are close to, while eonni is how a girl call their older sister or older girl they are close to. Hyung is how a boy call an older brother and beyond, while oppa is how a girl call an older brother or older boy they are close to. Noona/eonni, hyung/oppa, are both also used to refer to a girlfriend or boyfriend, it proves how close they are."

"Then why don't you call me-"

I scoffed, "I'm not calling you oppa, number Four. We may be half siblings because God wanted that way, but we're not close." That made him halt and I almost felt bad, almost. "Ahjussi means uncle if you're intimate with the person, but if you're not, it's an offense. Same thing with ajumma, which means aunt, but if you're not close to the person, it's offensive. It's offensive because Korean care too much about youth and age, and calling them that makes them feel old, which is offensive," then I side-glared that fucker, who had the audacity to wink at me.

"You called me that first, ajumma!"

"You're older than me, ahjussi," I snapped.

"Call me oppa then," he grinned, too fucking dangerous.

He's too bloody dangerous, "Ahjussi, I'll never call you that!"

"I'm the one you're closer to here, ajumma," he faked a pout, but it did not meet the dangerous gleam on his eyes. "We have history, no? I saved you, more than once already."

"Well, but I don't like you, ahjussi!"

"Yes!" My brother beamed triumphantly.

"Shut the fuck up, Four!" Dai-Jin snapped annoyed.

I glared at him, "Where are you manners, ahjussi?" That brought his eye back to me, "He's older than you, you should respect him, not talk with him like a ruffian. You're dishonoring your Korean roots!"

"Yeah, you ruffian!" His cousin mocked him.

"You too," I glared at Diego. "Ahjussi is older than you, no? Why are you talking like that?"

"Yeah, how dare you?" Dai-Jin growled at his cousin, mockingly.

"Ahjussi," I glared back at him, "are you always this talkative?"

His jaw dropped, "Are you telling me to shut up, ajumma?"

"Well, seems like you're brighter than I thought, ahjussi," I smiled viciously, making my intention clear. But as a knock came from the door, I couldn't help flinching, scared of it being either appa or my sister, not after all I yelled at them when I lost my mind that day, whenever that was.

"Can we come in?" Two female voices asked, and as the door came to open, and Diego stood up in all his height to let them come inside, and he is tall, shorter than my brother and Dai-Jin but a world taller than me. Two outstandingly pretty girls were standing there, both taller than me, between 5 to 10cm, which does make a difference. They're definitely on the 1.70s, I wish.

Both white and with a small height difference between each other. The tallest of the two with gorgeous cleavage-length ginger hair, ocean blue eyes, soft freckles, small nose, full lips, and considerably big boobs, in a white hoodie with white matching shorts. While the other girl also has freckles, slight down the shoulders wavy blonde hair, deer blue eyes nearing grey, round lips, button nose, and a bigger ass, in a baby blue jumpsuit, with a dark blue tank top underneath.

"Ajumma, these are Adèle," the idiot pointed to the ginger, "who's Diego's girlfriend, and Astrid," he pointed to the blonde, "your… well, your sister-in-law, since she dates Four."

Ah, so they are dating. I turned to Astrid, "the 17-year-old daughter of Naemi Forsberg and Natanael Holm," then to Adèle, "and the 18-year-old daughter of Aimée Fontaine and Tiger Calleary?"

They beamed in surprised, "Yes," they chanted together.

Nodding, I sat back on the bed, feeling a bit shitty with those two pretty girls in room, when I probably look like a bloody mess. "You're older than me," I pointed to Adèle, "and you're younger than me," I pointed to Astrid, "am I right?"

"Right again," Astrid smiled, as she went to sit down on Silas lap, while Adèle did the same to Diego, both looking very comfortable, at home.

"And you're the little arsonist, hm?" Adèle purred.

I couldn't help the heat that burned my cheeks, "I had my reasons."

"Oh, we know, ajumma," Dai-Jin mocked, and this time I felt way more conscious of the fact that we are the only ones third-wheeling the two couples here. Could he also be dating one of their childhood friends? "The journey of the vengeful ex," he chanted. "Bakugo-chan."

It was stronger than me, when I realized, the first genuine laughter that left me in months was already out, and I instantly covered my mouth, feeling instantly guilty for laughing. Especially with how they are all stating at me now, as shocked as I am, "Ahjussi, just shut up!" I snapped annoyed.

"Ajumma… You got the joke?" He asked, dumbfounded.

So dumbfounded I felt offended. "Ahjussi," I glared at him, "I have a little brother, of course I would know Boku no Hero, any east Asian kid has watched anime at least once. Who do you think I am?" But then it stroke me that, I don't have him anymore, and I shut down. "I… had a brother," I swallowed, staring down at my hands, feeling even more guilty for laughing and hating Dai-Jin for making me laugh at this moment.

They said nothing, thankfully.

But then I got restless again, realizing they dragged me to fucking Chicago, that uncle Daniel came with me, and that in the heat of the chaos he might have forgotten to bring that. "Where… where is ahjussi?" I got up from the bed again, feeling my anxiety through the roof.

"Here?" Dai-Jin questioned confused.

I glared a him, "Not you, ahjussi. Where is uncle Daniel?"

"Oh? That ahjussi. He's probably on a run, he's been running every morning around the park. Why, ajumma? Do you need anything?"

Fuck, I hate how worried he sounds. "Did… did he… did he bring any kind of box with him?" I swallowed, fidgeting with my fingers.

"Ajumma, that ahjussi brought a whole moving with him. A bunch of luggage and more than one box. I told him to only get the necessary, and he came with all that, and only one of the bags was his. He claimed that you would need all of that, whatever that was," then he pointed to one of the two doors at left of the wall the frame of my bed was in. "It's in your closet."

Without another word, I stormed inside the door, finding a huge walk-in closet waiting for me, no luggage in display, only two boxes over the island in the middle. Struggling with the soreness of my body and with the sting of pain in my wrists and palms, I desperately opened the boxes.

"What's in there, ajumma?" Dai-Jin followed me to the closet.

And only when I turned to the door and found the other four with him there, staring at me curiously, did I finally grasped the grandiosity of our height difference. Silas and Diego are ridiculously taller than me, but they are nothing compared to how Dai-Jin towers over all of us, over me. No wonder the ceilings of this place are so fucking high, I feel small.

Gulping, I slowly took the four closed vases from the boxes, my stomach turning into stone as I stared at it, feeling tears welling up in my eyes again, "Eomma, halmeoni, harabeoji, and Kit," I pointed from left to right, my hand starting to shake. "These are the most precious things I have. It's my… my family."

When I turned my blurry eyes to them, they were froze, pale.

"I… I didn't get the courage to spread their ashes yet," I broke the silence after a long and uncomfortable moment, eyes back to the vases. "I wanted to leave with them, so in my… in my suicide audio that I sent to ahjussi before I tried to… take my life," I swallowed, "I told him to spread my ashes together with my family's. Either on the Han River or in the tallest skyscraper building he were to find, just like it was in my family's will."

"Ajumma," Dai-Jin broke the silence again, his voice so painfully tender it hurt, "I know you're hurting, and that none of us has not idea of what you went through, of how many shit happened to you," he stopped forward slowly, carefully. "And I know that we can't even compare to the pain that must be consuming you right now, but taking your life, isn't the way. And it definitely isn't how you will get to meet your family again. Its just a short cut for more pain, for your soul and four the souls of those you lost who are definitely looking up for you from their resting place."

"I know, ahjussi," my honest answer shocked him, him and the other, and they all stared at me.