"It's okay, I have no intention of letting you die at all." He growled into my ear and held me tighter.
I looked up at him with teary eyes and he smiled before wiping my tears off.
"I know you're scared but then again, don't you think you're contradicting yourself?" He asked. I hid in his chest and felt his hands let go of me. I held him tighter only to realize, he wasn't letting go of me, he was just taking his coat off.
"it's freezing cold and you're sitting outside. You should have just called me." he clarified himself.
"I... I didnt come with the phone."
He sighed and apologized. "sorry I scared you."
I blinked at his apology wondering why he was apologizing. was he always...? This submissive?
"know I've been pretty much of a jerk but, I won't be and I'll help you find a mate who would love endlessly." as he growled the words, something inside of me pained and I held him tighter.
I stared him in the eyes as he drove out of the parking lot. though I was right next to him, I wanted, deep down to hold him. looking at his face. his huge yet still childish-like face, I couldn't get enough of it. I wanted to kiss him. to feel it I wanted a lot of things from him but he just seemed cold.
"He is not cold." I remembered Debby's words. "he is hurt. Happens when a good person is hurt."
"but was he ever a good?" I remembered asking her though it made me feel nothing but sheepish. So far Laurent has been nothing but kind and helpful, though I still don't know why he took me in the first place.
"Laurent used to be a bright little kid twenty years ago. Even after the whole Artem incident, he was always a funny, lovable, always smiling guy around his loved one." She looked down and took a sip of her glass of soda. "You know those days when the dark one was busy destroying packs and killing everyone?" she asked and I momentarily remembered my nightmare.
"yes."
"well, Laurent at that time was like a light in a dark place. He took a lot of rogues and refugees and made a pack out of them. Even me, who lost my family and tried to kill him in search of food. He healed us, fed us, and built a house for us. He was the little Guarding Alpha, we called him. Our father. Then his mate came along and well... she was small, around five years old at the time and she had just lost her entire pack. he just..." she wiped her tears away.
"he became a father of a five-year-old and he just lit." her sad smile told me, those days were happy. "All of us, for once, we felt like we could finally do something for him.
but, we took night shift one night, thinking we could let him at least put his mate to bed, but, the beast attacked and... he lost his mate and almost half the pack in one night.
"After that, he became as dark, he died inside, never settled. never did anything and he just left. the pack broke and well, I bet you already know enough."
she had seemed pained and even as my eyes remained glued on him, I could see that pain in him too. My heart ached to touch him. to...
"are you going to stare at me the whole way?" he asked without looking away from the road ahead. I looked outside as I murmured "no."
he drove into the forest, deeper and deeper taking trails instead of roads long paved but never once managed in the last twenty years in between pack lands and drove further and further to the mountains.
As we approached the mountain, the forest cover grew thicker and thicker blocking the moonlight while I grew more and more nervous as to where we were heading.
we definitely didn't come this way earlier.
"where are we going?" I finally asked as the forest got thicker and thick and the car felt like it was climbing the mountain.
"somewhere we can find help." he spoke softly and kept on driving. "and you can find a mate."
"It's not somewhere in the mountains, is it? I heard the mountains can't be trekked." It lives here. the beast.
"no, It's in the Valley."
"You sure? we don't need to climb right?" I asked looking around. the headlights weren't doing any of us a favor. it just showed what was slightly ahead and I even wondered why he had them on, wasn't he a wolf? can't he see in the dark?
"Don't worry, I am not going to make you climb the mountain. I'm not that cold or cruel."
"Are you being sarcastic?"
He slowly looked at me and smiled menacingly. "wanna check?"
I sank into the seat and held tight to the seatbelt. I hoped and prayed that he wasn't going to do anything bad out here. "nope."
"Good," he said and the conversation ended there.
I stood in awkward silence trying to decipher if he was being serious about making me climb the mountain or not. he wasn't helping either. he wouldn't look at me but just look ahead into the trails.
"do you think I'll find a mate where we are going?" I asked.
"I'm sure you will, but if you don't, we'll figure something to break your curse or buy you time. I promise."
I looked outside as he promised and added, "I wish I could find my mate."
Maybe all this maddening sadness would go away. and this... confusion over him would vanish.
"What? In a hurry to start planning to have kids?" He asked and it felt wrong for him to say it.
"No, I... I don't need to start planning for them, I already know how many I want and when I want them."
"So how many do you want?"
"I want two of them. A boy and a girl. How about you?" I asked him.
"I used to want four but, I'm never gonna have them." I took a look at his eyes and saw that sadness in his eyes. But a little bit of glimmer when he added, "But now that I think of it, three would have been nicer. Two boys and one girl. One to protect, one to make fun of the others."
"why one girl?"
"Is that how you do planned them?"
"yeah, first a boy, then a girl, then a boy. two-three years apart." his plan sounded way more like mine except I didnt want three. I wanted two. three years apart each.
"I would agree with you on having kids two years apart but not three."
"why not three?"
I used to when I was a kid but, who am I kidding? I'm now thirty-six and..."
"You thirty-six?" He didn't look it at all. "You don't look like it at all."
"I don't age, at least not anymore." he smiled sadly with the corner of his mouth, completely disarming the last form of shield I had from him. seeing his sadness, I felt a bit compelled to believe him. To comfort him.
"Everybody ages." I tried, holding myself and my thoughts from trying to rub his back.
"I don't," he argued, silently. "If you were to take my photo right now and compare it to the one I took when I was 21, you won't find a difference." he turned back to his staring wheel and kept on carefully navigating through the dark forest.
"Oh come on, you are lying. I am pretty sure that you look older."
he looked at me with a bent head and smirked. "I'm not. I promise, when my mother was married she was around three hundred and twenty years old but she still looked like twenty years old."
"I grow old slower than everybody else."
Abigail is old, alpha bill is around 80 yet he still looks like a forty-year-old. We all grow old slowly after turning but, we don't stop aging. I remembered Marcus telling me that every wolf no matter how strong it is, would die before it was two hundred. "Oh come on now you lying, none of us can live beyond two hundred years no matter how long we remain as wolves."
"I'm not a full werewolf."
"Oh, I'm not a full werewolf." I imitated him. "What are you then? A pan?"
"No, I am a hound."
"A were hound?" I asked him and he shook his head. "I don't think they live that long either."
He looked at me as if wondering how to defend himself and I couldn't push the cute face he made off my mind.
"I am not a were hound and what the heck is that?"
"You said you are a hound."
"Yes, I am a hound. But I am not a were hound."
"Oh, so what are you then?" I asked and he looked at me with burning eyes and a little bit of irritation and... I had to admit, he looked hot. Like really really hot. And cute.
"Let's forget about it." He growled.
"Oh come on..." his eyes lit as he looked at me and I looked down. The memory of earlier running in my head.
I almost forgot he was scary and... why am I so into making him talk and loving it when he does?
"Sorry. But can't we... this is the only conversation we've had in days that didnt include you pampering me." I admitted as I looked at him. I wanted to talk to him. To tease him without being afraid.
He kept quiet and drove further and further into the forest. We went up the slope of the mountain then went slightly along its length.
"Sorry, I am a bit anti-social." He growled after an eternity of silence. "I know I scare people a lot."
"You don't." I lied. "You are a bit friendly."
"I can't speak much. Sorry about that, I don't want to unintentionally use Alpha command on you."
"Can't you control it?"
"I am a bit antisocial and."
"It's okay we are both antisocial."
"No, you are asocial. I'm not."
"What's asocial?"
"You don't socialize a lot and when you do it's with a small number of people." He explained." That's asocial. Antisocial means doing something not allowed in society." Oh.
"Without being fazed by it."
"Doesn't it faze you?"
"That I took you and threatened your family?" He asked looking dead serious ahead. "No. It doesn't. Which is why your fear is reasonable."
"But I'm not scared of you." My heart and gut disagreed with me as I looked outside. The bumpy road, dark forest covers, and the fact that here I was alone with him scared me even more. but I also felt safe. its... confusing. being around him confused my feelings.
"I can smell it on you. Fear."
"No one can smell fear."
"You can. But you feel it through others rather than smelling it. Sympathy at its peak. I'll teach you how, once you and your wolf are in the same page. even healing and how to protect yourself." he offered.
"Why are you doing this?" I asked as I turned to face him. "why are you promising me a lot of things?"
"Because you are Allison Aver." He responded looking at me. I frowned and he smiled. "we here."