Chapter 54 - The man in the mirror on the tent

He had been in that place before.

A place that seemed to be the circus at the same time that it didn't seem like it, because it was so mysteriously covered by the mist. A place that had tents and toys, though it looked so empty and abandoned. Strangely enough he could feel somewhat nostalgic stepping in there.

Looking at his own hands, he wondered how small they were. He had the impression that they were bigger, with a few calluses here and there, and even rough. He even lowered his eyes to his feet, wondering how tall he was. Had he shrunk?

Looking around again, he found it strange that there was no one around. Near the tent, he found the plush puppet he loved so much. With its reddish robes and the trace in its eye, the boy felt calmer.

Pressing against his own chest, he had been brave enough to walk through that dark place. Even if it was cold, even if he thought the shadows hid scary monsters, even if he didn't like the whistling of the wind one bit, he kept walking between the tents as if looking for something.

His fearful eyes were about to fill with tears, of pure frustration at not finding what he was looking for so much, that he stopped in front of a small tent. The other tents he had nearby seemed larger, and perhaps it was his small one that had caught his eye. With no one around to deny him entrance, the boy had passed through the opening finding only a mirror in the middle of the tent.

Nothing else.

Just that orderly mirror that shone like gold.

Standing in front of the mirror, the boy could not see his own reflection. In fact what he could see was someone much taller than him. Someone in dark clothes, although he had facial expressions that looked like his own. Only that man was not holding a plush in his arms.

Curious, the boy stretched his right foot forward, and the reflected figure imitated him. Raising his left arm, he was again copied. He made a face and showed his tongue, without being imitated. Then the last test was to touch the mirror.

Like any mirror, the boy had expected to feel the coldness of the hard surface. However, he had felt the touch and warmth of that hand. Fingers intertwined, and the boy could tell that this man had a huge hand, but one that strangely seemed familiar to him. Wasn't that the hand he should have seen before?

Raising his eyes to the man, he saw that he was looking at him seriously. Perhaps a little sleepy, but still returning his gaze.

— Who are you?

The boy tilted his head slightly to the side without letting go of the boy's hand.

— I am you. How can you not recognize me?

The boy frowned and immediately answered.

— But I'm right here!

— And so am I.

— No... You're in a mirror — The boy even tried to look behind the mirror, not seeing the boy there.

— I'm here in front of you, and I'm even touching you like this.

Their intertwined fingers tightened a little, and the boy's eyes widened, completely surprised to feel that this guy was standing right there. Maybe it was some adult playing tricks on him, or even a magician from the circus who would have fun creating illusions for him. The circus was a perfect place for that, wasn't it?

— I'm not a magician.

— H-How...? Do you read minds?

The boy crouched in front of the boy and stroked his messy hair with his free hand.

— I told you, I am you. How could I not know what you're thinking?

Confusing.

It didn't make any sense.

— But you're much bigger than me! And you're not holding the puppet either.

— I'm an adult version of you, but I'm old enough to not hold a toy like that.

Tilting his head to the side, the boy blinked his innocent eyes at the bigger one.

— Don't you play anymore? Don't you find it fun to stand beside the puppet? He can do magic!

The big boy let out a low laugh.

— He really loves to play. Oh, what did you name your toy anyway?

Making a face, the boy answered indignantly.

— Hey, aren't you me? Then how come you don't know what I named it?

— I was forced to forget it.

— Why?

— To survive.

That person didn't make any sense. Still, the boy shrugged and held out the stuffed animal to the guy.

— It's Benjin! His name is Benjin!

— We're not creative when it comes to names, are we?

— Lucas said I could give him whatever name I wanted. Since it's my doll, he'd be happy with any name I gave him, as long as I always played with him.

Ah, he distinctly remembered his brother saying that when they went to play in the park the other night. The toy tent always had new things that made the twins spend a good part of their allowance trying. The puppet doll was the most popular prize, and Lucas had worked hard to win it and give it to his younger twin brother.

Of course he wanted his brother to choose the name, but Lucas had said the youngest should do that. Not that it was a problem, other than the shame of naming the poor dummy with a ridiculous name. But Lucas said it was okay.

He believed him.

— It's true, he did say that.

— Does Lucas still play with us? — asked the boy, opening a smile so big that it didn't disappear even when he saw the sad look on the taller man's face.

— Maybe he plays somewhere else. I don't know, since I ran away.

— Why did you run away? Are you afraid to walk here too? I can lend Benjin to protect you. Lucas put a spell on him that made him the strongest puppet in the world.

Again holding out the puppet, the boy wondered when it touched the wall of the mirror. Tilting his head still confused, he looked at his right hand which was still holding that boy's.

Why couldn't he hand over his dummy to him?

What if he got so scared that he ended up crying?

— I can't give you Benjin.

— Why do you want to give him to me? I don't cry like you.

— But it's sad being alone, isn't it?

The boy laughed again, and then stroked the boy's hair again. It seems that when he grew up he would have this nasty habit of messing up other people's hair.

— Don't worry. Benjin is still by my side protecting me.

Quickly the boy looked for the plush on the other side of the mirror. That guy was holding nothing but his hand.

— Liar! I don't see Benjin with you.

— He's waiting for me outside.

— Outside? — The boy looked over his shoulder without seeing anyone outside the tent — I don't see anyone there.

— He is outside, waiting for me to come out and do my job well.

— What job?

— Taking care of Dreamland.

— And you can't do that? Are you stuck in that mirror?

— I'm stuck, how pathetic is that?

The boy couldn't quite understand why that person couldn't get out. He was stronger, taller so he should break the mirror. Besides, they were touching each other so easily! Even though it was his hand that had entered the mirror.

— What if I pull you out?

— Then it is you who will enter the mirror.

— Is that bad?

— A little, because you won't be able to go outside anymore. You will only be able to stay in here looking at everything from a distance.

The boy pondered a little, looked outside the tent without seeing anything interesting, looked again into the mirror which had nothing but the boy...

Something didn't seem right.

— Why would I have to go in there? It doesn't make sense.

— It really doesn't. But if we both stay out there, we'll break.

— Break?

— Like the puppet toy box.

Ah... that would be bad. He didn't want to be a broken toy that would be forgotten in a toy box, which would also be broken. It would be a sad world just like the puppet show.

The boy thought it was so sad.

— I don't want to be alone. It would be better if we were together. We can even go see the circus together, wouldn't that be nice?

— I don't like the circus.

— But I do. If you're me, then shouldn't you like it?

— It's because I've lived what you haven't. So it's scary being in Dreamland.

Dreamland really was scary from the outside. So empty and colourless, it looked like it had broken down. Still it was Dreamland, its home.

— But if we stay together, I won't be afraid. We are one, aren't we?

The boy stared at him silently and squeezed his fingers lightly.

— Do you really want to be one again?

— If I stay with you, Benjin will still be on our side protecting us. Then you'll have me and Benjin. Why should I be afraid of the circus? Isn't it better that we're all together?

— Aren't you afraid?

— You can protect me, can't you?

The man laughed and agreed with his head.

— Maybe I can. I just need to get out of the mirror.

The boy shook his hand and pulled a little from the guy. Only the tip of his finger had passed through the mirror. Such a feat cheered up the boy, who looked at the intertwined fingers and then at the guy, like a puppy waiting to be cuddled by its owner for doing a trick. Only the other fellow had not moved. Could he be afraid?

— You can come, we'll all stay together. Like a big family — he tried to calm the guy.

Once again he pulled him out of the mirror. Little by little the figure came out easily. And the more he came out of the mirror, the warmer his hand became. However, the boy seemed to make a great effort to pull it out, and soon his vision blurred. The dizziness he had felt seemed to throw his body against the floor, but he felt himself being picked up in his lap by the tall guy.

— You can sleep if you want. Now it is the young master who will take care of everything and everyone.

The boy blinked with heavy eyes, fighting the sudden tiredness he felt. Still he had missed the plush in his arms. Raising his head to look for his favourite teddy, he saw it lying on the floor.

— Benjin fell — The guy crouched down and picked up the plush, handing it to the boy, who immediately hugged it — Where is your Benjin?

— I'll find him now.

— You don't have to be afraid, okay? Lucas put a spell on him, I told you before. So Benjin will protect you even if I get some sleep.

— That's fine.

— But do you promise to wake me up before the puppet show? I want to see it one more time.

The boy stroked his face and laid his head on his broad, warm shoulder. There the boy felt strangely comfortable, cuddling close enough to close his eyes even as he felt the man walk out of the tent.

— I promise, Leonardo.

Surrendering to sleep, the boy closed his eyes and curled up in the arms of the tall man. He felt something different happening inside him, as if the mist that incessantly covered him were dissipating little by little. His mind seemed clearer, his head seemed lighter and it was even easier to breathe.

And when he took a deep breath, he could smell the pitch that had already become a favourite part of his daily life.

Recognising the smell of pitch, he opened his eyes, determined to start again.

And as soon as his dark eyes finally focused, he had realised he was right.

Benjin was waiting for him outside.