Pains Effect

So I'm crying, crying, crying

and trying to live a life without stabbing the knife into my heart.

I will let the tears come burning me.

As the scares come up burning my throat.

Consuming my thoughts.

Taking years to let go of you.

You seem to be succure and safe.

So reliable that I felt it was okay to hold onto you.

That I diserved to feel you, pain.

In my mind, soul, and heart.

For what I have done.

Or ncould of and should of done.

Knowing that I don't diserve love.

Those friends who would never betray me.

Who care and loe me like family.

The family that we never had.

To indure the burden of my pain and secrets.

Willing to give our lives for each other.

Staying friends for all those friends.

Even though I pushed so hard to get ride of them.

It was so I coudln't hurt them anymore.

Who were the ones who forgave me over and over,

again.

Staying by my side when I lied to them.

Or told thier secrets.

Those things that were so personal about thier lives.

To hope you could have a relationshipe with a great guy.

To go on a date,

maybe even get married and have kids one day.

But when you look around you can't see any guys who liking you.

Liking it when you snort when you laugh.

Even when your being rude.

Knowing who you are amd what you have been through.

Staying with you when you cry

But you don't even know why your crying.

They can tell when your sad and I can help you.