Chapter 2 - Doubt

Another day. Another visit. Another cleanse. Another night.

That's the way it always is.

I wake up. Dream comes to see me. He gets rid of my items. And I go back to bed.

Nothings changing.

Why would it?

Why would anything change?

No one cares.

No one even bothers to show up.

The only break from this pathetic shit show of a life is when Ranboo comes to visit.

He's the only one that ever does.

He pities me, doesn't he?

He thinks I'm weak.

That I can't do this without some sort of help.

Well he's wrong.

He's so very wrong.

I could survive on my own.

Hell!

I'd thrive on my own!

I'd do so much better then anything I could have done back there!

But I can't leave.

I can't leave Logsteadshire.

I can't leave Dream.

He trusts me.

He's my friend.

Right?

Of course he's my friend. Why else would he come visit everyday?

Sure he started a war against L'Manburg but that was because he didn't want people to have to choose a side. He didn't want their to be fighting.

And yeah he helped Wilbur blow up L'Manburg but that was Wilbur's choice to detonate it.

Not Dreams.

And sure he told Tubbo that he had to exile me but that was for the good of everyone. Right? And it's not Dreams fault that Tubbo listened. If Tubbo was really my friend he would have said no. He would have told Dream that we would fight him.

But he didn't.

And now I'm alone.

Well, not entirely alone.

Dream's not the bad guy is he? I mean I understand why he did what he did but still.

Why?

Why would he tell Tubbo to exile me and then come to see me every day?

Did he want to be my friend?

Yeah of course he did!

Why else would he be here!

He knew I was alone, he knew I needed someone and he came through.

He was here for me.

He's still here for me.

Look at me. Doubting my own friend. What kind of a person am I?

God I'm such an idiot.

I shouldn't be doubting him. He's the only one that has been their for me.

He gave me my name.

I wouldn't be Tommy without him.

I wouldn't be anything without him.

But I'm me right?

Who is 'me'?

I'm not anyone.

I'm not Tommy. Not unless they say so.

I'm not anyone without him.

Some friend I am...

I can't even trust my only friend anymore.

I want to go home.