Chapter 10- Aftermath

I woke up way too soon. I guess that was just bad karma for staying up late beating up bad guys. The sun had risen, and the pain was worse than before. The bruises still hurt, but the headache was worse. It was the worst hangover ever with a healthy number of punches to the face added on. Knowing that my parents were still asleep, I decided to do a Resonance to try to resolve at least one of these issues. Mustering all of my willpower, I focused on the hero and called out her name for the first time.

"Mercy, Resonance!"

A white fog with golden streaks formed around me, and three seconds later, I was wearing Mercy's Valkyrie suit. Immediately, two things happened. The first was another jump in the pain from my headache. It was like a railroad spike was being driven through my skull. Actually, that would be better; I would be dead and past feeling.

The second thing that happened was the end of my bruises. From playing Overwatch in my past life, I knew that Mercy had a natural healing factor, the side effect from trying many cutting-edge healing technologies on herself. She was also biologically immortal, but that wasn't going to help me here. All I wanted was for my wounds to go away.

Although, if I had known it was going to make my headache worse, I probably wouldn't have gone through the trouble. With this spike in my headache, I had pretty much answered the question of its cause. I must have overtaxed Resonance last night. Thinking back, I had thrust myself into their personalities and experiences. There was something bothering me, but with my head throbbing, I couldn't quite put my finger on it. I let the Resonance go as soon as possible.

Feeling my stomach grumble, I decided that even if it was early, I could do with some food. I went into the kitchen and poured myself a bowl of cereal. Taking it into the living room, I turned on the TV. It had been tuned to the local news by my parents the night before, and instantly went into a report. The headline was "Almost 20 bodies found in Hell's Kitchen Docks."

"- what is most unusual about the bodies is that, according to the police report, the victims appear to have unusual wounds. The CDC has even been called in because of the state of one of the victims. So far, nobody has any explanation for what happened last night…."

Suddenly, I really felt my headache again, and the bowl of cereal was not so appetizing. A rush of memories came over me. Thinking about last night, I had started off shooting shoulders and being generally nonlethal. But somewhere along the way, I had gotten deeper into my Resonances. I had shot a man point blank in the chest with a shotgun. And shot the rest without caring if they lived or died. In the moment, I only saw them as the enemy. It did not matter if they lived or died, as long as they were taken down for standing against me.

My stomach churned. I could make any excuses I wanted, say that I had gotten into being Reaper and Soldier, but it could not change that I had willingly killed them with my own hands. Almost twenty men. I had never done something like that in my past life, and in this one I was only ten years old. Ten years old and already a killer. A murderer. The fact that those I had killed were criminals did not matter. Last night, I had acted as judge, jury, and executioner.

I tried to eat anyways, since I needed it and hopefully it could distract me from my moral dilemma. But the cereal tasted like ash, and the milk with it soured. It was a really good thing it was a Saturday, because I was not going to get higher functioning for some time. I tried to reason my way to acceptance, but if it was going to come, it was slow in coming.

That was how my parents found me some time later, sitting in front of the TV blankly watching the news with a pale face and a half empty bowl of cereal. Apparently, I looked sick enough that they considered sending me to a hospital. I eventually convinced them that it wasn't necessary, and I just needed to go back to my room and rest. Which I did, but I couldn't go back to sleep despite physical and mental exhaustion. So, I just lay in bed staring at the ceiling reflecting on the previous night.

At about noon, my headache completely disappeared. After some cautious thought, I decided that I needed to use Resonance again. The answer to the moral dilemma was not going to come from myself. I sat up in bed with my legs crossed.

First, I went back to Soldier:76. I needed the perspective of someone else who had killed, both for good causes and revenge. Jack's answer wasn't the most comforting. He had seen the horrors of war, and volunteered to fight, serving in Overwatch as both a soldier and the Strike Commander. He knew the weight of killing, and had grown accustomed to it, knowing that in the end, he was in good causes.

Genji had a similar answer, but a little more zen. He had turned on his family, who were in a similar business to the men I had fought last night. He felt there was a restoration of balance in fighting them. In the end, we all must choose a side, to fight for order and protect people, or fight for chaos, and take advantage of people. The men I had fought had simply chosen… poorly.

Zenyatta was sad with me at the deaths that I had caused. However, there was no judgement from him. He saw my moral dilemma as proof that I was self-aware, and therefore redeemable. That I hadn't immediately excused myself, or justified their deaths showed my true intentions as good.

And those were enough answers for me to get some rest.