make me hate you

TINA

I had never liked the idea of marriage. To me marriage was just a painful and suffocation journey one must never choose to embark on. I mean why on earth do I need a man? A man was just there to add more burden to a woman's life. I had my own work; a three-star restaurant. I bought the place myself and had made my restaurant well known all over in Kumasi so I really didn't see why a successful woman like me should get married. I buy my own food and clothes and do not see the sense in marrying and then taking care of a full-grown man like a baby. Cooking for him, washing his clothes and taking care of a house that belonged to him. What was the essence in that?

It was a total waste of time. The point was and had always been that, marriage was a burdensome and unnecessary procedure and don't let me start with children. Those little creatures that come into existence only to torment your life.

When they come into the picture then you are done for. The cravings, mood swings and painful birth one must go through only to be sleep deprived, and also be wiping butts just for the kids to grow up and say to you 'you don't own me, so go to hell.' I mean I would hate for my child to put me through all the troubles I put my mom through. And I did believe in karma.

These were some of the things I wanted to tell my mom so that she would stop pestering me about marriage but I couldn't. In this society, getting married meant that one was now a complete woman. You are not really respected if you are old enough to get married and you are not. Even my neighbor didn't like me because I believed, she thought that I would one day snatch her husband from her.

I was feeling frustrated at the moment because I just wanted to go somewhere, where they didn't expect every woman to get married but I knew such a place did not exit. I mean there are people out there marrying the same sex, others were marrying dogs and what-have-yous but no one seems to understand why I didn't want anybody in my life to disturb me.

My mom thought I was crazy and maybe I was. She didn't believe that celibacy was a thing. I just wished she would leave me alone. Although, I knew very well that pigs would have to fly before she ever did the one thing, I wanted her to do.

I was at the moment getting really to go to my mom's place. My restaurant could run without me because I had trustworthy people working for me. I really didn't want to go but she told me that she wasn't well and if I didn't go over to see her that weekend, then I should forget I ever had a family.

I knew she was blackmailing me emotionally and I hated those petty threats she comes up with but I couldn't afford to dare her. I didn't want her to carry through with her threats. She was the only parent I had left and I did understand her worries and concerns. I was the only girl she had and she was worried. I just wished she would also see from my point of view.

In my tribe, the children born into a family belonged to the woman so, both of my elder brothers' children belonged to their wives. The children that I would one day have would belong to me and my family and not to my husband. This was why she would never leave me be. She had no grandchildren that belonged to her. This was what we referred to as the matrilineal heritage.

I took my cute travelling bag and my car keys, got outside my apartment and drove off. Note, I bought all of those with my own money. You see, I was very capable of providing for myself and, I truly did not need a man. But who would listen?

I got inside the house and immediately smelled the mouthwatering aroma coming from the kitchen. I knew the drill and I was well accustomed to it: Feed me with something nice before lecturing me about the importance of marriage in a woman's life.

She had always been a terrific cook and my three-star restaurant was the prove that I am her daughter. She was able to pass the cooking skills unto me successfully without a fault. That was something I was really grateful for, among other things.

I went inside the house and greeted her and then, helped with the cooking as always. There was something different about her that day that I couldn't quite put my finger on. Normally, before the lecture began, she would start with how loving my dad was and how she missed him. Other times, she would tell me about how they met and other details of their lives I didn't wish to know. I had my own ideologies about marriage and there was nothing she could say to convince me otherwise. But that particular day, she was humming a happy song and was not saying the things I had become accustomed to and that scared me a bit.

After we had the meal, I was waiting for her to start with her sermons but she didn't. she just sat Infront of the television set and watched whatever it was that was on.

"Okay, you called me here for a reason, right?" I began. I needed this to end quickly and I was getting impatient.

"Yes, I wasn't well but I am now. Besides can't I call my only daughter over to spend time with her? you make it sound like it is a crime for a mother who carried you for nine months and nursed you throughout your life, to ask you to visit." She replied calmly.

Of course, she had to say that.

"I mean," she went on. "You had such a weak immune system when you were young and I spent most of my time in hospitals. And now that you are old enough to take care of me you are complaining. You didn't even ask me to go and sit for you to take over the cooking. You made me a sick old woman stand and cook for you a strong young lady to eat."

"But mom, I helped" I nearly yelled at her.

"With what exactly?" she retorted. That was when I understood that she just wanted to fight and I was not going to give in. I stood up and made to go to my room because once she started with that, she would continue till we both start yelling at each other and then she would call my brothers to complain, hinting that if I had a man, I wouldn't be yelling at her. but then she asked me to sit back down which I did.

"You and your stupid temper. You get angry when I say the truth. Anyway, I went to church yesterday to pray for you. You are thirty and unmarried, every mother will be worried I hope you know. Well," she continued and I didn't interrupt her. "As I was saying, I went to pray for you and I am happy to say that God has answered my prayers."

"What are trying to say mom. How did God answer your prayers exactly?" I asked like I was interested.

"Why, I found you a husband." She said calmly.

"Ha, ha, ha… sometimes mom you are so funny." I said

"Oh, my darling Tina, but I am serious. You are getting married soon dear. Very soon." She said and somehow, I got scarred.

"WHAT?!" Surely, she must have been joking but from the look in her eyes she was not. And if she was not, then it meant…