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Make Love, Not Warcraft: Game of Thrones

The man who inspired the antagonist in South Parks "Make Love, Not Warcraft" episodes dies under mysterious circumstances. Upon death he was met with a ROB who he finds out is the reason for his death. The ROB had enjoyed the man's real life antics as well as the attempted backlash his character suffered in the game. Offering to grant him his in game character and allowing him to keep his gear and all his in game hard work in exchange for his memories of his past life only allowing him to keep his in game knowledge, Cyrus Anders readily accepted with no hesitation. He didn't care what world he was going to be sent to, or of his life he just lived. He was about to live the life he always dreamed of, becoming a real life gamer. If you want to support me and my work you van donate on cash app $Sykocyrus

Sykocyrus · 書籍·文学
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61 Chs

Chapter 15

*General POV Kings Landing*

While Ned was dealing with troubling rumors and whispers of threats thought to be myth. His foster father Jon Arryn was dealing with his own troubling whispers and rumors but of a more earthly nature.

He never thought it would turn out this way, sure it was better than the alternative. After the Mad King demanded that he turn over his foster sons Eddard Stark and Robert Baratheon to await the kings "justice", everyone knew that was his way of saying burned alive, after he had brutally executed Rickard and Brandon Stark in front of him. That was the spark that ignited the rebellion.

He did head home to the Eyrie to bring just Ned and Robert to Kings Landing, but rather than bring them alone he brought the combined armies of the alliance.

Already he had to watch his long time friend and heir be executed in front of him, powerless to do anything to stop it. He couldn't handle it happening further.

Now Robert's children aren't his, he was sure of it now. The rumors weren't just rumors, the Queen bore bastards. Not one legitimate heir for Robert.

And to top it off the rumors of one of Ned's sons being able to do magic and performing human sacrifices and rituals. The Faith has been growing restless, wanting to restart the Faith Militant.

They had been disbanded centuries ago by King Jaehaerys I after its bloody war with Maegor the Cruel. Now they wanted to reestablish the military order and march North, to eradicate the savages of the north.

Jon Arryn was having so much trouble holding the realms together, he had written to Ned many times about the rumors, and Ned continued to deny the outlandish claims.

Everything they had built was crumbling, Robert wasn't helping the situation. The only help he received from Robert was he repeatedly dismissed the Faiths and Maester Pycelle's repeated requests to wage war on the North, or to allow a small military force to investigate and detain any practices that contradict the Faith of the Seven.

Robert just wanted to enjoy life, he was drunk even when he woke up and before he could sober up was back to drinking. If he wasn't drinking he was setting up or attending a tourney. No Tourney? Then he was in the sheets with a few maids. Not there? Check the Kingswood he'll be killing a boar, recounting the battle at the Trident and how he caved Rhaegar Targaryan's chest in, and the shock he had at the realization he was about to die before he caved his head in with the next swing of his hammer.

Robert loved that tale the most. Every Kingsguard could recount verbatim word for word the story, some could even match his voice if they wanted.

The Kingdom was worse than broke, they were in debt for millions of gold dragons to the Iron Bank, as well as a few million to the Lannisters.

The only thing that had kept the realm afloat was ironically the North.

The Starks paid their taxes on time each year, unlike many of the other houses. They were constantly late on payment to the crown.

Each year the amount sent by the North was increasing. Thanks to the new alcohols, glass, paper and soap just to name a few and with no more Iron Island since the Greyjoy rebellion shipping has been much safer.

There were other pirate groups but not many in between the new port that was built near Deepwood Motte. Having 2 ports on opposing sides of the north not only increased but allowed a faster route to other realms.

That's why the Reach and Westerlands were so against the north.

To top everything off Jon Arryn was dealing with issues at home with his wife Lysa Arryn and their son Robyn. She pampered the boy and interfered with him bringing the boy to stay with him at Kings Landing like he had been trying to do. He needed to teach the boy what it was to be the Warden of the East and Defender of the Vale.

If he wasn't constantly trying to keep civil war from breaking out he would've already gone and forcibly brought the boy over.

While Jon was busy putting fires out, Littlefinger was starting new ones, and the Spider just watched while he had his own plans for the realm.

Varys had his eyes on the two surviving Targaryen siblings, moving the pieces to eventually bring back the dragon.

He even acquired 3 stone dragon eggs planning to give it to Daenerys since her brother was showing signs of the madness. So they just needed to find her an army so they could return to end this farce of a rule.

Varys was well aware of the issues with the illegitimate children of the king long ago. He also knew Littlefinger was creating other issues for the crown. He was attacking the north where too many whispers of magic and sorcery for it to be false by now, and if anything Varys was highly against magic and magic users.

He became a eunuch because a sorcerer wanted to practice some blood magic so removed his manhood.

So he definitely approved of the attack on the North if it was true. There were a few occasions he had thought to go see the Ghost Wolf himself, and although he didn't have the same trepidation of the north like most southern men, after all he had no balls to freeze off, he still had more important matters to deal with.

Like bringing back the dragon to take its proper place.

In Petyr Baelish's case he was getting desperate. Catelyn wasn't really talking about her children like she used to be when she wrote to him. Even after he tried using a warning of what the Faith of the Seven was wanting to do in order to try to get information, she calmly responded back not taking any bait he laid out.

He had everything ready, he was just looking for the spark to set the world ablaze so he could rise from its ashes with his Queen Catelyn in his arms.

He had dreamed of all the ways to kill off each Stark. Especially Ned and Cyrus, he planned on killing them one by one until only his Catelyn was left.

He would comfort her and support her thru her loss of her husband and children, he would give her new children and they would rule the whole realm together. No more North and South or 7 realms, just one with him above it all.

He funded the Faith of the Seven pushing for the establishment of the Militant again. Feeding the High Sparrows lust and depraved cravings to get him continuously into his employ.

It wasn't hard to get favors and blackmail when you peddled in flesh.

His spy network was on par with the Spiders, one used children and the other brothels.

The only reason the Spiders were better is because he spun his web for longer. Petyr came from nothing, House Baelish were only technically noble. And even the only minor nobles at best.

He got nothing from his house, everything he owned he built with his own two hands.

Sure he used someone else's money to do it but he only needed to do it at the beginning, even though by now he made plenty of money with his business alone he still continued to steal gold from the crown.

His plan was to make a deal with the Iron Bank using the crowns and banks own money.

He basically had the gold to pay the debt because he never sent the payment to begin with, blamed it on the crown and let the interest accrue.

When the bank had enough and threatened to collect, he would swoop in offering the money he never sent as a down payment allowing him to have the Iron Bank's backing for the throne.

It was brilliant, buying a crown with the previous owners own money. No risk and all rewards.

He too had heard whispers of the sibling dragons across the sea but to him, he would have the Iron Bank as his backing so her claim would account for nothing. As long as he kept the Iron Bank happy nothing could stop him.

They had access to the best mercenary companies money could buy.

While the Lannisters had their saying "A Lannister pays their debt".

The Iron Bank had theirs as well, "the Iron Bank will have its due."

And they did, they were known to fund your enemies if you get far behind on payment to the bank. Hostile takeover at its finest, after they lost everything their families, along with themselves if they survive, to be sold as slave and their enemy controls and runs it in their place paying your loan back to the bank.

So Petyr focused solely north, making deals in the dark to start the spark. He made sure his Catelyn would be safe, he had the perfect plan.

Have his lover and tool Lysa Arryn poison Jon Arryn which will force the wolf from the comfort of its den after his death.

He couldn't touch the wolves at home, but all he needed was to force them onto the board where they were at their worst. He even had the perfect moment since the woman has written incessantly about Jon threatening to pick up their son to bring him to Kings Landing would be perfect.

Once he died everyone knows the king will turn to his friend the Quite Wolf to name him the Hand of the King. With any luck he will bring as many pups as possible so he could toy with them before slaughtering them one by one.