I Must Be a Masochist

Nie Chang leaned over and kissed his cheek. "Why are you in a hurry? The story isn't over yet."

Su Yan tensed. Why did this sound as if there were lots of other things he had done wrong?!

Nie Chang seemed calm though and just continued with his reminiscing as if he was in no hurry at all. "After that day, you followed me around wherever I went, always crying out for 'big brother Nie', tugging at my clothes and throwing tantrums when something didn't go according to your wishes. You really endlessly pestered me."

Su Yan felt like crying. How was this a story about how his friend had fallen in love with him? He was obviously insulting him!

"I was a little frustrated at first. We didn't know each other. So how could you shamelessly cling to me and call me your brother? But when I tried to get rid of you, you started crying as if you wanted to drown me in your tears. It was terrible to hear and even worse to look at."

Su Yan pouted. "If I was so terrible, why didn't you just ignore me?"

"Well, I had a really bad conscience. You did cry because of me, after all." He sighed and shook his head. "Ah, the first thing I learned in school actually wasn't reading or writing but instead coaxing you." He once again ruffled Su Yan's hair. "Well, I never regretted doing so because as terrible as your crying face was, your smiling face was just as beautiful."

Su Yan blinked and touched his face. Eh? His face was that versatile?

Nie Chang could see that Su Yan didn't really believe him. "It's true. I don't know about other people but at least I always felt that your mood is quite contagious. From the first day, I felt terrible when you cried and I was happy when you smiled. Nothing has changed about that."

"So you just like my face?" Su Yan pouted. There were clearly the words 'How superficial!' written on his face.

Nie Chang laughed and went back to cooking. "It's not your face. That's just part of it. What drew me in was your personality. You're the kind of person who wears his heart on his sleeve. If you like someone, you'll latch onto him until the end just how you've done it with me back then. If you dislike someone …" Nie Chang smirked.

If it wasn't for his job where he had to put a good face on the matter, then Su Yan could be really harsh. He totally didn't mind telling people to their faces that he didn't like them and he didn't go about it in a subtle manner. It was just like when he had seen that bad review for his short story. He'd get emotional and then everything would be too late. The words were out even before he thought about them.

"Haven't you always ridiculed me because of that? You said I had no idea how to behave in society."

"Well, that's true though. But I still like that about you. It's nice to watch."

"You're totally black-bellied!"

Nie Chang looked at him and smirked. "But I'm still your boyfriend."

"Then you shouldn't be like this to me."

"I was praising you though. How many people are there nowadays who always tell the truth? You're completely unable to lie and you can't even keep your own secrets if you want to surprise someone. That's … really adorable."

Su Yan's lips lifted into a smile but he still felt that this was too good to be true. There had to be a catch somewhere. "You really think so?"

"Mn. Just look at you now. You're still the same as back then in primary school. One moment you scold me and the next moment you're hugging me again." He sighed. "I must be a masochist to actually like someone with such a temper."

Su Yan grabbed Nie Chang's arm and snuggled up against him. "Don't say that. I only scold you when you did something wrong."

Nie Chang coughed. Right. "Then I'm probably doing too many things wrong. I feel like you're scolding me every day."

Su Yan reached up and cupped Nie Chang's cheek. "How can you say that? That's not scolding at all! That's just me fiercely displaying all my love for you!"

"Oh? There are other ways to do that, you know?" He pushed Su Yan against the cupboard and encircled his waist. Before Su Yan could protest he had already leaned down and kissed him. "Su Yan."

"Mn?" Su Yan perked up. Nie Chang hardly ever used his whole name. Most of the time he would just call him 'Ah Yan'. So … What was the matter now?

"Whether it was back then when we started to get to know each other in primary school or when I fell in love with you later on or now that we're already a couple … I've always been really happy with you. Even though that earlier wasn't a proposal I still want to stay with you forever. Could you … also imagine that?"

Su Yan really wanted to ask why he even worried about that but he somehow felt that Nie Chang wouldn't be happy with that answer so he just nodded.

"That's good then. I …" Nie Chang shook his head and just gave him another kiss. There was no need to say anything else.

The things Su Yan had wanted to know, he had already said them. And everything else could still wait for a while. When they had been together for a while longer he would bring it up.

Just like he had gotten used to that little imp tagging along with him back in primary school, Su Yan would also get used to the way he was tagging along with him now. And when he did then they could go further. For now, staying like this was alright. There was no reason to hurry at all. They still had the rest of their lives in front of them, after all.