Chapter 1: World of My Own

"If there is a Love so true, it springs from the heart of compassion, not from a point of admiration of strength or beauty, but in doing so, it drives deeper than the depths of the human soul; for there, it binds two souls into one to the point of nowhere….."

"There is nothing that could exist nowhere," I always remind myself that reality is simple. I always look into what's tangible, to what I can believe to be real ... .until I felt it, out of nowhere…..

Chapter 1 World of My Own

I find it hard to sleep. And I can't say I'm becoming an insomniac. No. I can sleep while riding the Bus, or while sitting on the sofa, but I find myself thinking about her all the time. I know I should have been past this phase. Is this just a late bloomer phase?

I saw her back when she was just a teenager. She was in High School and I was in College. Back in the day, when my classmates were busy with their giggles and love letters and stuff, I found myself busy thinking about Liquid Rocket Propulsion Mechanism. Yes, I'm your typical nerd. A Science weirdo, who knew more about academics than tying my own shoelaces. 

My story began when I was a little tiny baby, yah you heard it right. I was just a tiny little sickly baby when I was born; or rather, I was rescued from my mother's frail body. My mom was terminally ill and was almost at her last breaths when the doctors decided to perform a CS on my mom and brought me out into the harsh world. I could barely fit into a medium sized shoebox. With the patience of my father and all the medical people, I grew a bit bigger and tried to live a normal toddler life, though I grew without my mother's loving arms.

But no. I was so sickly that even playing outside is a struggle. I have cousins and friends but whenever I play with them, most of the time, I end up having asthma. I spent most of my days in clinics and hospitals. When I arrive at a hospital, they often don't ask for my name anymore. I drank more than a few bottles of medicine each month, enough to fill a box of empty bottles.I may lament about my frail, skin and bones body, but I have to cope, so I ended up indoors with a ton of books. I started looking at colorful pictures and when I learned how to read in my kindergarten class, I was unstoppable! I'm reading almost 16 hours a day! I read books even when I'm eating my meals and before bedtime till I fall asleep with a book in my hands!

I read a wide spectrum of literature. From Greek and Roman mythology, to religious books, to history and politics, to basic and advanced knowledge. I would even read the newspaper used as a wrapper for dried fish! I read about agriculture, about automotive, about buildings and construction, and even anatomy! It was so that whenever our teacher would like to get a hint on where a particular topic can be read in several volumes and pages of an encyclopedia, they would ask me. A library was my Paradise!

Was I happy? I was! Have I felt missing out on my childhood? No. I've been to many places that my friends and playmates can only dream about. Riding in the pages of Books, I can go to the moon after visiting the sun! And when I wasn't reading, I might be found engrossed in drawing many pictures and illustrations, painting, or making clay models, all by myself. I'm a self contained boy. I have been to a thousand worlds through books and more!

I don't need no toys. I Made myself some toys each time. Although I don't know how to play Basketball, I haven't wanted to play basketball either. I was really content with my life. I don't lament on having no new shoes, or being not included in a team. I hike up the hills behind our house by myself and imagine the stories of Greek and Roman mythology. I look for birds, and insects in the field, rocks and stones in the brook, and the growing edible ferns and mushrooms in the forest. I made dioramas out of clay and wood. I learned how to carve wooden swords and daggers! I am so free! 

Even when my friends started to become teenagers. I was different. They started to have their crushes and love letters and giggles. Me? I was busy with Science Fairs and Quiz competitions. I was busy thinking about the next science project. I designed a projector out of a field microscope. I designed and flew a few Rockets, and I designed futuristic robot costumes for my friends. Whenever someone would even need to do anything, most of the time they would tell me about it and ask for help. Even students from lower class sometimes ask for help from me. I gladly help anyone because I know it's my chance to do something!

Although once in a while, a friend of mine may ask me to write a poem or two for their crush, or ask me to help them write their love letters, I am more excited about the prose and the verses than what they call love. Yes, I've read many novels and illustrated comics, some having love stories but I'm more on the stories and the plot twists than the feelings they exude. I had been a literary writer, but only knowing about the rhymes and the tones of love. That was the teenager me. I didn't go out with friends, I did not long to be with someone romantically. I don't even worry about my grades at all. For me. I was doing everything I can and that'll be enough. No expectations, no pressure.

I started earning some money in my early days in college. As I had long been on school paper, I became a volunteer news translator from English to the vernacular dialect, and earned a few hundred pesos. I became interested in music and asked to be included as a part time band member, and earned some more. I asked to be included in a crew of Sounds and lights operators for mobile sound systems and earned more money! I was enjoying it! Being busy, tons of food, some extra money. I was living the life!Then I was introduced to the Gaming World!

It was the heyday of Ragnarok Online! It is a role playing game where you can earn dollars while playing! I was hooked! I quickly had it running! I became an Acolyte, then a Priest, with tons of healing powers! Although I traded Intelligence and Manna to Strength, many players would literally buy my time and ask me to play with them in their temporary raid parties because I can heal them faster than the monsters can hurt them! Although I was so vulnerable to attacks and used so many potions, I earned hundreds of dollars a night! But then the earnings dropped and the platform became unstable. That was the first time I met a girl. 

A girl was playing in a dungeon as a warrior when she came across a vicious, modestly powered monster. She was doing good at first , when the monster began stalking her. She then ran away from the monster towards my direction, putting both of us in danger! I freaked out! But then, I realized that we are complementary! If she keeps on fighting while I heal her from the back, eventually the monster will die. I told her the plan and it seemed right for both of us. She kept on fighting the monster while I healed and gave her defensive and offensive buff one after the other! We kept on fighting, slowly chipped the monster's HP a little at a time and sure enough, we won!

Exhilarated by the feat, we rested a bit and fought some more monsters. We swept the dungeon clean! We got tons of items, even some rare ones! Then , she said to me…

"Let's be friends! We can surely fight well together. It will definitely benefit us both to be regular fighting buddies!" She excitedly blurted.

"Whoah! Whoah! Hang on a bit. I'm honestly not ready to be friends with you." I hesitated.

"Whaaat?!!!Are you for real?" She can't believe what she just heard. "Come on! We're good together! Can't you see?! Come on, Let's be friends!"

"I'm sorry but It's not about you; It's about me. I haven't got any friends till now."

" No way! Are you okay? You're serious right?"

"I am serious. I have no solid friends even in real life." I confessed.

"Awww. No. Aren't you lonely?" She asked, with a tone of concern .

"Well. I'm not" I replied.

"So, you wouldn't want a friend? Even just in this game?" She asked.

"Well…."

"Come on!" 

"Okay!"

"Yey!!!

" Come on! Let's clear this map!" she excitedly exclaimed! "Let's finish them all!!!"

"Hey! Wait up! I might not be able to cope up to your speed!" I hesitated.

"You better do. Or else, a monster might catch up on your six and you'll die!" She said, teasing me.

"Well, a really strong monster might spawn in front of you and you'll surely die without me as your healer!" I called out to her in concern.

"Arrgh! Hurry up! Don't be a chicken!" She shouted in a fit of frustration.

"I'm coming!" I shouted back.