Me after you (Hyun Jae POV)

I walk to my desk put a DVD to the DVD player. I pull the string to play it. it's Paul Kim song titles Me after you.

I pull the chair and sit in front of my desk. I take a picture in my desk. it's my dad, my mom, me and Hyo Joo we take photo together when we eat dinner after watching musical back then. I touch the picture of her face.

ring...ring...

my phones that I put on the desk is ringing, it's from Bom.

"hello" I answer it

"Hyun Jae, where are you?" Bom ask

"home" I answer

"which home? your parent's?" he ask again

"no, mine" I answer while keep touching hyo joo face on the picture

"let's go out" Bom said

"not in the mood" I said

"hey, stop it. let's get out. breath some fresh air" Bom said

"don't like it" I answer

"Hyun Jae, Song will join too. let's hanging out, it's been a while since we not hanging out together " Bom said

"ah don't know, I just want to sleep"

"come on, it's end of the year" Bom still try to persuade me

"hm... how about this if you hanging out tonight I'll grant one of your wish" Bom said

"really, even it's hard " I said

"of course. as it's make sense. today is my treat" Bom said

"okay" I feel my mood little lit

"meet me at XXX restaurant " Bom said

"wait..." I said

it's the place where Hyo Joo used to work

"why?" Bom ask

I just silence

"don't worry, Nana said Hyo Joo already resigned from the job over 3 months ago" Bom said

"just..." I still doubting

"Hyun Jae, grow up. are you gonna avoid all the things related to her that reminds you to her?. what about the convenience store? school? streets?. don't run away anymore " Bom said

"I won't see you if you not come. understand " Bom said again

"yes, I know. I'll go"

what Bom said is true, I can't avoiding all the time. I'm not ready to go out yet, but I can't stay at home and not living my life forever.

I put the picture at my desk again. I walking and take my coat from the wardrobe, still cold outside.

I stand in front of my apartment door for a while. it's been a while since I come out, I ordered my needs and just went out to my parent's once and locked myself all the time. I push the door knob full of hesitates. it will be my first time to really get out from my apartment.

at same time in different place someone also set her first step out from her hideout without my knowledge.

----

after walk for 10 minutes I arrives at the restaurant, it's really crowded. I look around to find Bom.

"here" Bom wave his hand

I walking towards him, I see Song already there too.

"ah... I start to think you wouldn't come. what take you so long?" Bom ask while turn the beef at the grill

"I will go home if you not come 5 minutes more" Song said , he take a slice of grilled beef and eat it

"why? " I ask

"this friend said you will come, so I need to come and com...ACK" Song suddenly shout

"what happens? are you okay?" i ask

"why you step on my foot?" Song look at Bom

"I'm sorry, I don't mean to" Bom said

"Hyun Jae you want to drink?" Bom ask me

"hm... okay, I'll drink soju" I said, I usually not drink but I feel want to drink it today

"Song you want to drink?" I ask

"hm... no... my mom will angry if I get drunk" Song said

"but Hyun Jae, are you okay?" Song ask

"really hard to contacted you, last time you are the one who contacted me. if we call or text you, you never answer or reply it. we even want yo go to your place if you didn't answer Bom calls today" Song said

I sip my drink

"yes, I'm okay" I said

"really, but seems you don't. looks like you lost weight?" Bom said

"I just workout lately " I said and take a slice of beef and dip to sauce and eat it

Bom and Song look at each other

actually I don't feel okay. I just sleeping all day, eat when I have appetite, shower when I have mood. I just ordered food from my home, stay at my apartment and didn't come out. if I get bored I'll play games or workout. my clock feel stopped tickling at the time I saw Hyo Joo flight take off.

like now, people busy withe their life but mine feel like move slowly, I keep drink and drink.

"Hyun Jae it's enough stop drinking " Bom said

"why?" I ask

"wah, he really, look at his face getting red" Song said

"we are in trouble. this not what I'm planning" Bom said

"what are you planning? why you step on my foot? are you tricked us" Song ask

"..." Bom sighing

"yes, you right. I'm worried for both if you. how can I calm if both of my best friends become like this" Bom said

"like what? I'm okay" Song ask

"hey, you think I didn't know? we're friends from years. how can I didn't realize it. and you both there when I feel down. so I'll do the same even both of you don't want it"

"Song-a don't pretend to be okay. stop acting like you though. if it's sad say it if you frustrated said it. if you angry say it. Vivi might made a mistake but have you think from her shoes? what if you at her place? would you tell everything? or will you hide it? as I conclude it's hard for her to hide all that bad things. have you ever ask about it? have you ask for her explanation before you leave her?"

Song just silence for a while, I can't see his face clearly looks like I really drunk, I put my head on the table.

"will she give me an opportunities to ask about that and clear everything?" I hear Song speak

I can't hear clearly after that but Song stand up and go.

"Hyun Jae...Hyun Jae... Shin Hyun jae" Bom pat my back

I look at him with my head still on the table

"Hyun Jae let's go, I'll walk you home" Bom said

"ng...." I said I'm to drunk

"wait here, I'll pay the bill" Bom take his bag and walking to the cashier.

I don't know if it's my imagination or not. I heard Hyo joo voices, I keep my head up and try to look around. but since I really drunk my sightseeing is blur, I see Hyo Joo stand at the restaurant entrance. my body reflect walking close to her, I really misses her. even this just a dream I want to hug her so bad. I walking with my trembling leg but I can see her more and more clearly until I finally stand in front if her.

"Hyo Joo... is it you? it's not dream" I said and I hug her

-----

the lights from the sun shines on my face and dazzles my eyes. I get up slowly and sit, I feel dizzy. my phone ringing, it's from Bom

"hey, you wake up?" Bom said

"yes, just wake up. I feel dizy" I stroke my face

"good, drink some water and rest you drink too much last night " Bom said

"okay" I said

"are you walking me home last night?" I ask

"oh, yes. why?" he ask

"hm... so it was a dream" I said

"what dream?" Bom ask

"just... ah... don't mind it" I said

I walking to the windows and open it

"why? just say it " Bom ask again

"I... ah... looks like I'm getting crazy" I said and scratch my hair

"haha, why? you just realized you are crazy?" Bom laughing

"hey!" I shout

"hahaha, calm down. then tell me" Bom said

I sit on my bed

"I've dream about Hyo Joo. I meet her at the restaurant and I hugged her. it's just feel so real. but looks like it just a dream after all. she's not here, don't know where she is" I said while looking at our picture above my drawer.

"hm... it's a nice dream. maybe you need to wash your face and eat or drink something " Bom said

"ah, Hyun Jae..." Bom said

"why?" I ask

"believes me something good happens when you move forward" Bom said

"what do you mean?" I open my door

"bye" he said

"Bom. Bom-a... Hwang Bo Gyu!"

he hang up, what's wrong with him. i walk outside my room.

"ah you wake up?" a familiar voice, familiar person stand in my kitchen preparing breakfast

"Hyo joo?"

so it's not a dream, last night at restaurant

"Hyo Joo, you here. I misses you" I speak while hugging her

Bom looks at us

"hey, this kid. let go of her, we are in public place" Bom try to pull me from Hyo Joo

"no, I don't want. I want to hug her " I really drunk

"hey, everyone looking us" Bom hit my back

"Bom-a... it's okay. let's bring him out first " Hyo joo said

"Hyun Jae, let's walk out" Hyo joo said

"um..." I said

they walking me out. we walk a bit and stop at a bench. they sitting me there.

"you here" Bom said

"yes, I just get back" Hyo joo said

"what happened with Hyun Jae?" she ask

"just like you see. he lost his mind, you know he really timid and childish. sometimes he stubborn and pushover, a spoiled boy. but you know his good side. please talk with him at least once" Bom speak

Hyo joo look at me and touch my face

"okay"

"look.. fireworks " I said and laughing

"so pretty like Hyo Joo" I said

they walked me home together after that Bom leave and Hyo joo stay at my place. I throw up several times and she helped me. after that I slept in my room and she sleep at the couch.

she wake up at the morning and makes some soup to heal my drunk.

"Hyun Jae eat this first " she said

I walking to the table and sit at the chair. is this real? not a dream? she brings bowl, spoon and glass to the table.

"Hyo Joo...I..." I want to say something but she cut it

"eat first " she said

we eating together without saying anything. how can two people relationship becomes so awkward because "break up". people who used to feed each other feel so distant, people who used to sit side to side now sit in front of each other like strangers. like everything never happened.

"I'm done" I said

"ah, okay. I'll clean it" Hyo joo said and stand

"stop it" I said

"oh..." she bit surprised

I stand up

"why?... why you here?" I ask

"I... I just... I'll go after clean this" Hyo joo said

"I said stop it, don't do it" I speak bit louder

"I'm sorry, I'll go now" Hyo joo said

she walking to take her coat and bag. darn it, why I speak like that.

"Hyo joo, wait" I run to her and grab her hand

"I'm sorry" I said

"...." she silence for a second

"I'm so sorry. I regret everything back then. I'm the wrong ones. my young and immature mind, I'm selfish and always nervous about our relationship. I was happy after meeting you. can we back to that time again? can we get back together again?" I said

"Hyun Jae, forget everything about me. I'm sorry, I came here and wait you sober to say it directly. don't feel burden anymore" she walk away

"how can you be so cold, it just few months. can you even softer to me?" I said

"can you ask how my condition? can I ask you how about you? where are you all this time? did it hard for you? " I said

"you know exactly the answer for that question, yet you're the one who give up on me" Hyo joo said without looking at me, I just see her back.

I hug her from the back

"can you give me a chance to fix everything? I was able to love you so much cause you embraced and really understood me.

when we hurt each other with nonchalant tone I can't bear our distant relationship. and when I realized everything you already gone" I said

"Hyun Jae, let me go. from now on live your life wonderfully. I know you deserve it. I already forgive you" she let my hands of and walk out from my apartment

I just stand there like a freezing stone, the memories about us playing in my head. are we really ended like this?