1.27 That's how I've always been

When Gramps told me where David had gone, I was running for my life, towards David. I never prayed. But at that moment, I wanted some divine intervention to tell me it was a mistake. David is not on his way to my old apartment. David is not going to find out. But I'm too late.

"When I first tracked her down and asked her about that night, she looked so terrified. Someone clearly threatened her. But I finally convinced her to write down what she knew. That was then. All I had was a name and an address to go by." David stops, his eyes full of hatred as he glares at me. I take a step back as both shame and fear envelop my whole body.

"David. Please. Can we talk about this?" I say, hoping to calm him down. But I only manage to stoke the fire in his eyes.

David starts to pace back and forth, grasping his head in fury. "You told me repeatedly that you don't have my wallet, and I believed you. But why am I here, Dina?!" David shouts at me. I look around instinctively, worried that someone might hear. Thankfully, no one seems to be paying any attention to us.

"Come here," I say, pulling him towards the alley beside our old apartment building just in case. He offers no resistance, but he shrugs off my hold right away. "David--"

"It's your Dad, isn't it?" he hisses at me. I look back at him in silence. "I don't understand. What do you hope to gain in stealing that information from me? Your Dad is already facing a life sentence in prison! Did you just want my family to suffer more than we already have? Is that it?!"

Suddenly, all my fear and worry dissipate as they get replaced by exasperation. "I didn't know that you had my Dad's name in your wallet!" I blurt out. "I stole your wallet because I am a thief, David. That's what I am! That's how I've always been."

David huffs disbelievingly, "Is this seriously your excuse? I bet your father convinced you that's all you can be, huh?"

"Stop talking about my father. Stop it!" I explode, unable to take it anymore. I realize that I should let him vent, take all of his anger out. I have absolutely no excuse for both my Dad and me. But the old me, who was overprotective of my father against all odds, won't let me admit anything.

I squeeze my eyes shut, frustrated.

Suddenly, David takes a stride towards me. I retreat, and my back hits the wall. His handsome face is stone-hard, "Why? Why should I?" he asks me, venom in his voice. "Tell me the truth. It's him, isn't it? He killed my parents. He killed them."

I feel my knees sag, and I curse myself for being so weak. What did I expect? I knew that sooner or later, he was going to ask this question. "I don't know," I whisper, heart in my throat.

"What do you mean? Dina, what the fuck does that even mean?!" Anger renewed, David pulls back and punches the wall behind him.

I wince as I hear his knuckles crack. My eyes start to water as I look down at his bloody hand. Slowly, he turns to face me again, and we stare at each other in silence. He takes deeper and deeper breaths as he calms himself down. His eyes are patient now, but not without the traces of anger he had shown earlier. I can tell that he's giving me another chance to tell him the truth.

My heart wants to break the silence, but I keep my mouth shut, begging him with my eyes instead. I can't tell him anything. He can have his wallet back right now. But that's all he's going to get. I don't even really know anything. And even if I did, I can't betray my Dad.

Swallowing, David gives me a curt nod, eyes now full of disappointment. "So this is it. You were just screwing me over then, asking to be my friend while knowing what you know. Making me feel like we--" he stops, and I feel the world shift. David's features are suddenly full of longing. My breath catches. I know that look because I'm sure it's what my face is showing right now.

"D--David, I'm sorry. I really am." I whisper, sticking by my choice. For the first and last time, I allow myself to gaze at him with all the emotions that I've been bottling up ever since I met him. If miracles exist, they will reach him, even when they're silent.

I hold my breath as David looks down, defeated. He gives me an impassive nod, the very same one that he gave me that night when we were mere strangers to each other. He starts to leave, and I hold him back without thinking. Embarrassed at my sudden action, I immediately pull back as he stiffens. Yet as quick as the beating of my heart, he turns around, grabs me by the neck, and kisses me. I gasp, opening my mouth for him. His fingers are not gentle at all, and his lips take all that they can get, but I don't care. I grab the front of his shirt and kiss him back just as hungrily.

Above us, the rain starts to pour, and I feel like crying again. I keep going back to that night when I first saw him and thought he might be the coldest person on earth. He's not. He's the warmest thing I've ever held, and now he's pulling away from me, removing my grip on his arms, avoiding my eyes. He walks away from me without a word, not unlike every other person in my life. Only this time, it's different. The bond is short yet so deep, and I don't know what I'm going to do now that it's gone.