Ch 4: What’s a planet?

Ol'Mingzhi led me into a room with two couches facing each other and a wooden table between them. He sat on one, and motioned for me to sit on the other. As I sat down, he started talkin.

"You'll have to forgive Ling Huo, she doesn't speak. She just yells at her father. The only one she really talks to is the child, Qing'er."

While speaking, a jug appeared in his hand. He pulled the stopper and took a swig when he finished speaking, then offered it to me. I took it and took a whiff. Shheeeuw. Strong stuff. I took a swig while he started talkin again.

"The Monkey King was once saved by my family. He left a statue of himself and said to pray to it if we ever needed help. If even half the legends about him are true he may indeed have sent you, but I am doubtful if that is true."

He stopped talking and reached his hand out for the jug. I took another swig and handed it back to him.

"Oh he brought me here alright. Fuckin Monkey pulled me from my house and dropped me right outside the village. I don't even know where I am." I can't wait for him to show his shiny mug, I'm gonna Kungfu punch him right in the nose.

I took back the offered jug. He started talking again.

"I doubt you're the first he's taken. Sun Wukong is a mischievous soul. Whether you can help us or not, I'm sure he finds it entertaining." He seemed to stare off into the distance for a second. I looked out the window and saw that Ling Huo was still goin at her dad like a hurricane. Poor guy was gonna be soaked by the end of it. Ol'Mingzhi took another swig. I sighed.

"Well, I cant go back the way I came. Tell me Mr. Mingzhi, where am I?" I looked hopefully at him. Praying I could find a way back.

"You're in the Qianglang Province of the Conglin Kingdom." I looked at him for a bit then raised an eyebrow.

"Is that on Earth?" He looked at me funny when I asked him that.

"Of course it's on earth. There's earth everywhere." I rolled my eyes, and bit my tongue.

"What planet is this?" I asked.

"What's a planet?" He looked at me with concern.

Well. That answers that question. I took a deep breathe, snagged the jug and took another swig. Then I looked at him and introduced myself.

"I'm Jake." I offered my hand for a hand shake. But he grabbed one of his fists with the other hand and nodded his head.

"So it is Younger Brother Jake, a pleasure to meet you." He must've noticed my confused look and chuckled. "This is how one gives a greeting, here." He demonstrates the motions again. I mimicked him.

About that time we heard a crash and then stomping footsteps coming towards us. Ling Huo suddenly appeared in the entryway. She was glaring at Ol'Mingzhi. She was obviously still pissed off. The kid was sitting on her hip. When Qing'er saw me she smile and waved. Not thinking, I waved back.

"Who the hell are you!?!" Shit, I spooked mama bear. I dropped my hand. However, apparently that fuckin tail has a mind of its own cause it then waved itself at the kid. Ling Huo lost it.

"How dare you come to this village and put ideas into children's minds. First you scared the Mao children into thinking you were an undead, then you convinced my Qing'er that you're her Uncle Tail! Not only that! You convinced my poor father than you can save the village from that bastard of a Bandit! How dare you get peoples hopes up like that!"

Uncle Tail? What the fuck? I looked at the kid. She smiled at me.

"Don't you even LOOK at my BABY!"

Shit, I looked back at Ol'Mingzhi. He was actually taking another swig. Totally ignoring her. How?

How does he ignore that racket?

Smack!

'Huh?' There was a slipper in my lap. This bitch threw her shoe at me! She ain't Abuela!

I stood up, grabbing the slipper, I stepped towards her angrily. She finally shut up, and even looked at little scared when she noticed there was a 2 meter tall dude standing in front of her looking angry.

"M'am. I did none of those things. Your father dragged ME here, your kid yanked MY tail, and those other brats poked me with sticks while I was unconscious! So PLEASE! Control yourself long enough, to find out, what is going on! And don't EVER throw your damned Chonkla at me!"

Ok, so I lost my cool. Oops. My bad. I handed her slipper back to her

Ling Huo was just staring me. Mouth open, eyes confused, slipper in hand.

Qing'er, however, had somehow gotten hold of my tail again. Dammit. Whatever.

I walked back to the couch. Maybe cause Qing'er had my tail, and she was in Ling Huo's arms, they came too.

I then took the jug from the stunned Ol'Mingzhi and took another swig.

After taking a breathe, I looked at the two of them and asked "So what's the deal with Bandit Boy and his crew of raggamuffins?"

The two of them slowly came back to reality.

Ol'Mingzhi looked at Ling Huo and she huffed and looked away. Then she stood up and took Qing'er out of the room. As she got to the door, she turned back to Ol'Mingzhi.

"Tell him."

She then proceeded out of the room.

"Seven years ago, a man named Wanqu Daopian attacked our village. They killed many, stole our belongings and kidnapped several of our women. Ling Huo'er was among those taken. We thought all was lost."

His eyes glistened and his voice husky. He took another drink.

"Huo'er came back, two years later, and she was pregnant. She insisted on keeping the child. We couldn't understand why, we told her that Wanqu Daopian was evil. That his spawn should never be brought into this world. But she insisted, saying that while she had suffered by his hand, the child was not to blame."