MY FIRST TIME TO BOARD A PLANE.

In this 21st century, If you haven't been on a plane before, You would feel out of place especially among your peer groups who frequently travel outside their countries on different occasions using Aeroplanes. To them, It's a normal lifestyle unlike a few people who still to find it luxurious if the trip isn't about importing and exporting goods from or to China, Thailand, USA and so forth and in their own opinions, they are absolutely right to think like that after all Everyone to their own....ha ha ha.

However, gone are the days when boarding Aeroplanes was a rich people thingy, an only educated People's Pass for job opportunities across the globe and a "Wizardry practice" according to my village people years ago.

My village people were convinced by only God knows who then that people who travelled to other countries using Aeroplanes were either witches or Wizards because there was no way, according to them how a "normal" person would pay a whooping amount of money to sit in a Metallic flying man made bird when they had families to look after and lands to cultivate.

At one point, My late grandmother told us that if any of us(her grandchildren) ever sits in that nonsensical man made bird, she would disown them.

I don't blame grandma because she witnessed Uganda's political wars like Late Dr. Milton Obote's overthrow by Iddi Amin Dada in 1971 and The Liberation war between Uganda and Tanzania led by the then president, Late Iddi Amin Dada Oume in 1978. This Iddi Amin Dada war claimed Grandma's husband(our grand father) who selflessly fought for the Liberation of Uganda in 1978(Amin Dada) and her son(Our uncle) in 1986's president Museveni's Bush war that put his government into power up to date.

Let's take a moment of silence to honour these great men and women of war who sacrificed their lives for us to live today.

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May all their souls rest in peace. Amen.

Grandma's only memories about flying objects were connected to guns and bloodshed so he was absolutely right to caution us about boarding Aeroplanes.

Nonetheless, When GOD says YES, nobody, I mean Nobody can say NO!. It's now 2014 October and I am about to break grandma's heart by doing exactly what she forbade us to do. Guess what?

I know you guessed it right!. Yes, I was going to travel to Asia for an AUPAIR PROGRAMME.

My trip was half way covered by my host because she paid for my Visa and I paid for my Flight ticket.

it was a fair "game" after all her family was going to accommodate me ,feed and pay me some good cash every hour I worked for them according to my contracted arrangement with them.

I was to work for them for one full year as a private English Teacher by teaching their beautiful four children and their mother English lessons since they were planning to relocate to USA the next year (2015).

I must say It was an exciting trip I anxiously looked forward to travelling because I remember spending sleepless nights for a fortnight because I couldn't believe that I was going to travel by air to China!.

yay!, I was going to be the first family member to travel outside Uganda by air, moreover to China, a country my siblings and I well knew for producing best Action movie actors like Jackie Chan, Jet Li, Donnie Yen, Bruce Lee and so many others of our time.

However, It took me enough courage to inform grandma about this trip because her cautious statement of "disowning us" still buzzed in my ears at every thought of breaking the news to her about my flight to China. As her favourite grandchild(I am blushing 😊), I knew most of the things that pleased and pissed her off so it was up to me to play my cards well when I travelled to the village to break the ice in her face. In a week's time to my travel date, I travelled to the village to bid grandma a farewell since it would take me a year or more to trave back to Africa to be with my family.

I literally had Google maps in my head locating jobs in China incase I still wished to stay there even after my one year tenure with the host family....ha ha ha.

(Do you have such crazy ideas when travelling to New places or it's just me? ha ha ha).

God was merciful to me, I managed to reach the village and had taken nice clothes,shoes, Jewelry and Accompaniments like sugar, soap, Cooking oil etc for grandma. She was so happy that she cried tears of joy and that's when I told her that I would provide more than what I had brought for her if only she allowed me to travel outside the country.

she first posed her tears(celebration) and looked confused for some few seconds then she said that I was bribing her, ha ha ha ha something I denied.

She told me that it was okay for me to travel so long as I travelled to "Chenya" (read:Kenya) that it was the only safest country to travel to. She disliked Tanganyika (Current Tanzania) because of the Liberation war memories of 1978.

Honestly I lied to grandma that; I was going to "Chenya"(Kenya) to earn big money and pamper her with whatever she wants in life!.

Hey reader!, See promises! Ha ha ha.....

She finally gave me a go ahead and blessed me with prayers and when I was going back to the city after four days of my stay in the village, She packed for me Ground nuts,Pancakes("Kabalagala") and several foods to take to the city but she emphasized that I would eat the Ground nuts and Pancakes when on board to China that it was better to pack my foods and water to avoid hunger and thirst.....that; That's how grandpa(her late husbsnd) used to survive aboard War Jets(Military lifestyle).

We had a great time In the village so I had to travel back to the city to prepare myself well for my journey.

D.DAY

I Didn't sleep the whole night and can't remember the number of times I packed and unpacked my suitcase just to be sure I had carried everything I needed on that trip. I carried the snacks grandma had given me back in the village like "Kabalagala" (pancakes), Ground nuts and water in my suitcase incase we didn't get food on board.

Phew! Thanks to grandma(RIP). I wouldn't really starve aboard Fly Emirates Airline.

While at the airport, I was very attentive at any movement, Announcement and signals from cars, People etc at the Departure area since 12pm.

By the way, my flight was at 2am but reached the airport by mid day!..

I spent the entire day at the airport doing absofuckingly nothing but to stare at fellow passengers who arrived and departed. Oh, I also kept on counting the remaining hours for me to board the plane.

I was tired and anxious about the whole idea of sitting in Fly Emirates, I mean the best Airlines whose adverts I used to watch on our local TV channel back then. I couldn't believe that I was actually going to board Fly Emirates, Duh!.

We all checked in and was told to leave my suitcase behind and watched it disappear into a small box(Baggage carousel) then was handed tickets that read "Boarding pass" with a sticker attached to it which read "Baggage Claim". I was confused and worried at the same time because I had Nuts and pancakes inside the suitcase which grandma had packed for me to eat during the trip and they were literally swallowed by the Baggage carousel.

I asked the lady who had checked me in why she had taken my suitcase but she just smiled at me and explained that I would find the suitcase in Asia upon arrival and would use that tiny sticker (Baggage Claim) to collect my luggage. She also warned me to be very careful about the tickets' safety that if I lost any of them,I would not travel nor get my luggage back. Aha!, I hid the tickets in my handbag and stepped aside for another passenger to be checked in.

I followed other passengers to wherever they were heading to. Thank Goodness, They were heading at the Immigration counter where I was asked to stand straight and look into the camera.

Silly me smiled during the camera click and the "I have seen it all attitude" Immigration officer laughed at me and told me to stop posing behind her camera lense because I wasn't at the photo studio nor was I at a Red carpet show. I wore a serious face Immediately and my photo was taken then had my passport stamped in "Exit".

I was guided to the Lounge by one of the passengers who had witnessed my uncivilised behavior the whole check in session earlier that morning(1:00am).

Upon boarding the Aeroplane and seeing how big and fancy it looked inside, My Jaws dropped because that was the most amazing thing I had ever seen at my age then!. I stood at the entrance in amazement for some minutes. I Actually caused some traffic at the plane entrance of the plane until the flight attendant tapped on my shoulder, that's when I came back to my senses, walked and sat in somebody else's seat Because I hadn't checked my ticket's seat number.

I thought we would seat like the usual way we seat in buses, taxis or trains where seat numbers don't matter sometimes. If only you could see how I rushed to seat in a business class seat moreover at the window side with extreme happiness, You wouldn't have wished to see me with a frowned face when I was shifted to Economy class!.

"What's the point of sending me to fully occupied seats when these seats are empty?, Are these Arabs out of their mind?"

I murmured under my breathe as I walked straight to Economy class. Truth is My Ticket read "Economy class " only that I was totally green about the sitting arrangements. Nevertheless, "Where ignorance is bliss, 'tis folly to be wise!".

Meanwhile It took me some good minutes to locate my seat and when I found it, Thank God it was a two seater and I was to seat by the window. Everything seemed like a dream to me that I pinched my hands and pulled my ears just to be sure it wasn't a dream.

I was so excited and Amazed at how the outer environment looked like when inside the plane.

I took some photos with my first ever smart phone of Samsung galaxy GT 19000.

Life was cool on my side and I remembered Jackie Chan's Movie Title "WHO AM I"

to have boarded a plane among all my family members then?!.

I held tight on the seat before me as the plane set off and felt dizzy when it was in space. Had lots of thoughts running in my mind because I wondered how magnificent God's plans were for the universe to enable the plane Fly in space without any support.

oh wait!. hold my drink please, How about the Skies which exist "independently" without pillars supporting them?!. isn't the Creator really amazing?!.

Anyway, I looked beneath through my window only to see clouds and couldn't see land(Topography) the more the plane flew higher. I was so green about this whole lifestyle. After some time, we were served lunch and expected a plate of either rice and meat or chicken or atleast "Matooke"(Cooked green pounded bananas, a staple food in Central Uganda) and chicken with a bottle of Soda but got disappointed when I got served a piece of bread with small packed portions of white solid thing which I learnt later from my Indian neighbour that it was Butter.

Miss Muna,(My neighbour) convinced me to spread the butter on my piece of bread that it tasted delicious but I refused. She seemed not to give up on me so I finally spread the butter on my bread and took my first bite with closed eyes.

"Whoa! It tastes sweet!". I cried out.

"See!, I told you!. Now drink some "voter (Read:Water)

and tell me how it taste". Replied Miss Muna.

I took a sip from my dwarfed tin of water and it it tasted really good!. Tsk!. About an hour after eating White man's food, My village Intestinal worms started to riot one by one in my stomach. I could feel movements and endless bloating in my tummy coupled with unaudible and non smelling farts pass through unexpected. I was very convinced that I had started a war in my stomach and it would only end from the Toilet whether I liked it or not.

I couldn't take it anymore so had to stand up and act normal per walk of fame to the toilet. My people,

I failed to locate the toilet on that entire plane until one of the passengers noticed me bypass him for atleast the 6th or 7th time and asked me If I was fine.

I smiled and told him that I was fine but tired of sitting so was literally "exercising my legs".

He in a witty manner told me that if I needed to use the toilet, I would go straight then turn on my left. There was a tiny Aluminium coloured door.

Hardly had he completed his statement when I disappeared from his seat row and stormed the toilet!.

Finally!, I had won the quest for Toilet search but hold it there!, "Where is the flushing handle to clean this job well done?!" I scratched my head in confusion as I looked for the handle to flush the toilet.

To add salt to wound, There was another passenger impatiently waiting at the door to use the same toilet I was stuck in. I slightly opened the toilet door and the guy's attractive physical appearance sent me speechless. It took me seconds to take my eyes off his chest....ha ha ha...(Do you know Christopher Hemsworth? That's how his body structure and hair looked like ). I asked him to wait for few minutes and would leave the toilet for him. I couldn't imagine him coming in after me only to find a huge constipated brownish banana shaped like piece of p**p because I couldn't flush it!. Hell No!. I mean, considering my marriage status, I was single and such a very handsome and muscular guy would be a great date for me so had to fight tooth and nail to flush that piece of p**p.

I fidgeted with almost everything Inside the toilet in the name of looking for means of flushing the toilet until I saw a tiny switch on the wall behind the toilet cover open. Alas!, Had I flipped the toilet cover earlier, I would have seen the switch fast.

nonetheless, I pressed the switch on the wall and the pressure from that tiny switch through the toilet shocked the "villagism" out of me because I literally screamed and fell aside(a few distance from the toilet) but still inside the toilet and by the time I got myself together, I found my ugly banana shaped piece of p**p disappeared and felt overwhelmed by that kind of technology.

I smilingly opened the door and went back to my seat in honour and satisfaction. That is how far I can narrate my story. I apologise to anyone who feels offended in anyway by my some words used but this was a raw copy of my life experience.

I hope you find guts too to share your experience with us soon.

Thanks for reading! Ciao!.

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