CAP 01

06/23/2020

"-Why am I here?" The tearful voice asked the darkness that was constantly surrounding him. The fact that he was in this atypical situation left him with chills, even his deepest soul trembled every moment. Everything he remembered or almost everything came and went in his mind, but he never caught them, almost like fast fish.

A small, cold and distressing breeze passed over the back of his neck with a remarkable slowness that left him even more anguished and fearful than he was. He was not a good example of a courageous and persevering man, on the contrary.

His vision was completely pitch black... Just dark and darker. He seemed to have his eyes closed and the environment closed, which was not the case since those eyes were open and they did not even see a faint ray of light, just pitch black.

That situation was unexpected and unfortunate for him, he was having another routine day going to work, not at all precious to him, when suddenly the vision of the cars and the streets as well as the people was suddenly erased. It was almost as if he had passed out or lost consciousness.

The fact that he had already been completely absorbed for a few minutes was already driving him completely crazy. He had an apparent and physical body as he touched his disheveled and poorly groomed beard that left him with shades of apparent old age. Such a detail made a 27-year-old young adult like him look 38.

When he ran his fingers through his beard hair, he felt everything was almost normal. 'Shouldn't people who fainted just wake up slowly afterwards?' His fingers continuing their smoothing process.

This was too strange for someone who didn't do well with strangeness.

A few more minutes passed there in the pitch black, thoughts came and went in his mind, until impatience completely took over him, making him squirm, almost like a tantrum child who didn't get a Kinder egg from his mother. He had seen many of these on his way to work. I may not be that smart but I always tend to pay attention to details that other people would pay attention to.

"-Is somebody there?" Just silence.

"-Can anyone hear me?" The silence continued to torture him.

His pleas were pitch black as no one listened.

'Damn, maybe I died and I'm in the afterlife.' Hypotheses ran through his head but there were only more uncertainties in the air. Supernatural phenomena had never occurred, he always read reports of such events that other people had 'occurred', but they were just nonsense stories created by fertile and unoccupied minds. Seriously, they didn't have dishes to wash or a job to create useless things like that... Well, in the end, these stories always ended the same way.

'-look guys, we should never doubt the unreal and supernatural! This occurred to me and I learned to deal with these traumas and I will tell you about this in my newest book which is hitting the shelves very soon. So be careful, he'll be out soon.' In the end it was just to sell products for accepting and overcoming trauma. They were just greedy liars.

Of course, this was the majority, or rather, there was an excess of these stories that I had read on forums and also in books. In the end, I was the one who was unemployed! I thought skeptically to myself.

I always had a certain obsession with discovering new things, I had an infinite hunger for learning new things, for gathering information and seeing everything this world had to offer. Of course, I didn't even come close, I willingly admit it.

This obsession made me live my entire life seeing things, reading books and gathering information in my brain. I was around 7 years old and, like my entire childhood, I was either in the municipal library of the city where I lived or in front of the computer at home. Because I remember a random memory from my childhood? It's been so many years, hasn't it? Well... This was the day my parents died.

I don't like to remember that, or rather I don't even remember it all completely. After the accident, doctors and psychologists said that these memories would be erased by my brain due to mental shock in order to preserve itself, in his own words... They were wrong.

Returning to the topic from before, it was on this day when I was in yet another routine of reading and reading that a small notification arrived in my email.

It said...

Message received from Standish

08/17/2000 at 17:35

Your pain is infinite

Dear reader, I write thoughtfully and with a certain regret but happiness in my chest to be able to tell you this story but also to warn you.

I know that the strangeness of this message is remarkable, but I know that he will read it in full, of course if it's not about you. Hahahhahhah

I know that your curiosity is infinite, of course this must be good for some time but also in the future if you are not careful it will become your burden and also your destruction.I ask you not to make the same mistakes as before.

And most importantly, know that my heart belongs to you. I love him... - - - - - - - - _______

Those words sank and pierced my soul and heart for no reason, maybe it was stupid of me but they gave me calm and deep peace. It was almost like drinking tea on a cold, dull, late-winter night.

The dots and signs continued almost infinitely. After a few years I studied this email with dedication and hard work, the reason I became so fond of it is unknown to this day, perhaps it was because of the affection that those words conveyed to me even though they weren't for me. It was just a message sent by mistake and to the wrong email.

Why did I remember this right now? Right now in this supernatural situation in which I find myself.

A small shiver was suddenly felt on my neck, it was something deeply tenacious that seemed to attach itself to my soul. A severe headache hit me afterwards as well as a feeling as if my brain was being sucked out by a sea current.

I could only put my hand tightly on my head and crouch down, protecting myself from it all.

I closed my eyes, forcing them out of pain, it felt like they were going to shatter into little pieces. A few seconds of those excruciating pains hit me, but they subsided and stopped, getting weaker every second until they disappeared completely. I slowly opened my eyes with fear and to my surprise I was back...

Happiness flooded me like a torrential rain. I could now see the streets and also the same cars that I had seen before, they were in the same place as before, it was as if nothing had happened. The migratory birds that passed through in August and July toasted in the sky and for me it was like a divine orchestra. "-Fuck, I'm fine... I'm alive!" I ended up wanting to go all north.

I arched my aching back to the ground and lay there in the middle of the street. My legs were already worn out enough to not allow me to stand upright again. Damned if my job I have to go to next toasts itself victoriously, damned all these people around me. They must think I'm crazy and maybe they're right.

The small victory reached the young employee on that rain-soaked floor. His jacket and dress blouse, now wet on the back, sealed his victory... He was alive.

Of course all that changed when that happened.

The weather was warm and alive for me.

When the young man was lying down, a small shadow of someone passing by approached him slowly and painfully quickly. And walked past him completely ignoring him as if he didn't exist as if he wasn't there. His foot went through his body then. Passing through his unreal and non-material body and shaking the ground and also his senses. His feet soon pierced him again and followed until the man in the suit pierced him completely.

He looked up at the skies that seemed more fake and also devoid of life and color with a deep sadness in his eyes. A gray color took over the sky and left it with a deathlike appearance.

Tears came out of the side of his eyes and fell to the ground or rather didn't even touch him. He grabbed his arms and pressed them tightly to his face. An agonizing and fleeting pain surrounded his mind he could only think.

A cold feeling surrounded him.

"-Damn... I'm dead!" tears fall as your hope in life to be alive. "-Not even here I can see you two again"

Death had never worried him, but now he thought of it with preciousness, just as a man thought of a rare and special beauty.

When did I get lost? The memory of being lifted in the arms by his mother, at first I love you said to them two those he loved so much but who also marked him with his loss.

In the end, for the fool, the autumn leaf has the same weight as his own life.

"-Only in the end is life valued, right?" The slightly distorted sound was directed towards the dead man crying lying on the ground.

The mysterious voice penetrated the ears of the young man who had tears on his face, they were not jovial tears but heavy and adult ones. Strangely, he wasn't even scared or surprised, he had the idea that this voice was nothing more than death itself leading him to the place he would stay for eternity.

He didn't think he would go to heaven, well he wasn't a saint or believer devoted to any type of religion, he even had a certain envy of devout believers... Certainly his certain destination was hell or any type of punitive scenario. He thought highly with regret but also a certain morbid humor. Maybe I'm already in one, he also thought out loud with a laugh of his own.

He then got up with more and more people passing through it and moving forward almost as if in a cycle of his obligations.Sitting down, he can only look back and see where it came from. He wondered... What kind of appearance should death have? All he could see was a young man with black hair, he had heavy, melancholy eyes that were accentuated by deep, heavy circles under his eyes.

Upon seeing the figure, he was shocked. That was his youthful appearance, how could he not remember the dark circles under his eyes due to panic attacks and the heavy insomnia that tormented him throughout his childhood.

´´Why does this appearance, Mrs. Death?´´ He asked sharply the younger version of himself who was there before his eyes, it was complete madness, all of this seriously completed himself in his confused and already weak mind... I've been crazy Enough for today... I mean I'm dead, right?

The figure just placed his arms behind his back, almost as if in a form of prestige, he approached carefully and slowly, approaching the figure sitting in a common way. Such a figure looked into his eyes, closing them completely.

He went to the young man's side with his arms crossed behind his back. He just followed him with the corner of his face.

´´Don't you think they are stunning?´´ The stranger with the figure of the former asked the other, he looked at all the people coming and going on the street, they all had a life and their obligations. They were unique but at the same time the same deep down. A mother passed by with a child next to us, the child walked playfully forward with his mother holding his hands tightly, he had a happy smile on his face while his mother had a worried and sincere one. A smile appeared on the melancholy face of my former self.

´´I think they are quite normal!´´ He concluded by answering the question, and even just looked at me and continued to glimpse those around us. The weather was tender and heavy, the August heat didn't help. If I'm dead I shouldn't feel heat or temperatures, right? I asked the air doubtfully.

A few seconds of silence filled the entire room, contributing to its tension. The complete silence, absent from cars or people, surprised him. He wasn't able to hear the voices or any ambient noise around him, it was like watching a television on mute.

The mysterious man soon passed him and continued on a small, slow walk, then inviting him with his arms.

``Allow me to take a walk, young man.´´ He did not think about refusing such an offer, and I followed him slowly on his heels.

A certain uncomfortable silence remained in the air for at least 20 seconds until the figure's voice sounded, he listened attentively. ``I bet you must have a lot of questions, right?`` A hoarse and unique voice pierced my eardrums, it gave the impression of being too strong for his young appearance.

``Yes, I have many.`` I immediately accepted.

`` How about we start with... Are you really death? `` He added, swallowing hard, fearing your answer from the bottom of his soul. A small, inexplicable smile sealed that being's small and somewhat fragile face. ``Well...`` He thought carefully before continuing. ``The concept of death, or rather its personification and identity, is pure fiction... So no, I am not death``

A surprise appeared on the dead young man as well as more doubts, his answers only led him to doubts and doubts continuously. He thought for a few moments and then spoke again. `And what would you be then?``

``What a foolish question! There shouldn't be any more outstanding issues than they are. Don't make this walk boring and boring for me.``

``No way would I!`` I responded sharply with my throat a little dry, which made a hoarse tone come over me. The figure just continued its walk, which gave me the idea that to it I was nobody, just another dead person that it tormented.

Her attention was on the people passing around us... A lady in her 60s carrying her supermarket purchases. She had a slow and experienced walk.

Another was a young couple who walked hand in hand and became fond of each other right there on the street with gestures of affection, which were reciprocal. I don't deny that a certain regret flooded me with thoughts of having had a special person or a happy relationship, perhaps having had a family. I wasn't a very sociable person anyway. These were too late things to think about.

What surprised the young man most was seeing how such a figure sweetly observed all the human beings who passed by us.

The silence was only interrupted when the hoarse and thick voice reached me. ´´Do you remember that cartoon you watched with your father as a child?´´ The surprise of such a question completely shocked him. Why this question? He thought to himself. A look of uncertainty ended the young man, the figure just remained with his routine serious look. ``You know the one where the young man ends up dying in the 1st episode. What was the name again... I think it was...``Just about to say the name, the words came out of the young man with the name. ``It was Yu Yu hakusho!´´ An indecipherable look appeared on the face of the figure who just stared at the young man again. A deafening silence became loud and clear.

´´The best place to find out what a person was like in life and at their funeral.`` A certain hatred was what the young man felt at this moment. ``it won't be necessary, there won't be anyone there anyway!´´ A serene and deep sadness came from the young man who only had a slightly sad look.

``I'm going straight to the main topic...`` anxiety struck the young man who was already expecting bad news, perhaps that he would suffer for the rest of eternity in hell or any other type of place. But damn, because I didn't do it right, what the hell did I do for 20 years. He did not deny that he was relieved, as if his parents saw what he had become they would be disappointed. I don't want to see them this way. He knew deep down that what he said was a complete lie.

``It's good news.´´ Confusion was evident on the young man's face who could only agree, already eager to receive it. ´´You will wake up again.`` A genuine and explosive happiness ended up inflicting the hopeless young man. Which was evident in the voice that sounded.´ ´You're not kidding me, are you? Is this some sick joke by any chance?´´ The eyes closed on the creature similar to him then waiting for it to be something serious and true.

"Do I look like I'm making jokes?" He can't deny that he wouldn't do that. ``Good luck in this new world. I hope you are real with your feelings and don't get lost on your way.´´ With happiness he offered his hand as a sign of respect to the creature who was surprised by the act, he raised his hands and shook them.

`` Wait, what do you mean by a new world? ´´ At this moment, the surrounding scenery as well as the figure broke his vision. all he could see was complete pitch black followed by a huge plantation of something that looked like wheat and smelled very good.