Kika's doubts

I opened my eyes. I was in... Luke's room.

Huh...?

I stared blankly at the ceiling. I can't believe I'm in Luke's room. In his bed and the covers are around me. It felt a little too warm.

Why did I have that dream? A replay of all the horrible things that prick has done to me. Does my brain fear I'll cave into the desires of my heart again?

Urgh, I couldn't tell. I pressed my fists into my closed eyes. They felt sticky from tears and itchy from lack of sleep. I had rested for a while but it appears it's barely enough.

"Rhea... was it Luke that carried me here?"

I didn't hear her come in but when I opened my eyes I saw her making me a cup of chamomile tea.

"Yes, my lady."

I felt drained for some reason. What happened? I know I've been quite depressed in the past few days but I still ate my meals on time. I pressed my thumbs into my forehead while I stared at the ceiling. I was trying to think of a reason why I would suddenly faint...

Wait a minute...

Why do I suddenly think I fainted? The places where my thumb pressed felt like needles. Did I get a bruise there?

"Rhea, what happened to me?"

I still didn't bother getting up. Staring at the ceiling seemed strangely refreshing. I didn't feel like doing anything. I turned slightly to the side to face Rhea why she responded and the rustling sheets sent a miasma of Luke's scent into my nostrils.

Hmmm... smells good.

"You fell down the fleet of stairs outside the main doors, my lady."

"Whoa..."

Those were over two hundred steps. I squirmed a bit under the sheets. I don't think I broke anything but my left leg did hurt quite a bit.

"What did Luke do when I was unconscious?"

"His lordship was so anxious. He told Rory to call the Medallion at once and then he carried you himself... You were bleeding, my lady... and you kept muttering and vomiting your drugs in your sleep... His lordship was so worried that he watched you all through the night and didn't sleep."

Haha. What kind of sitcom is this? Luke worried? That bitch wouldn't worry about me even if it was the apocalypse and a zombie was chewing through my cranium.

"Then where is he?"

Yeah. If he was so worried then why isn't he here right now? He is supposed to be the first person I see once I wake up.

"He went to get you more medicine, my lady."

Rhea moved to the drapes and pulled them slightly. The sun looked like it'd been up in the sky for a while like it was afternoon. How long did I sleep? A few hours? A day plus?

"He went himself?"

He didn't send Rory or another titan under the jurisdiction of the twenty-eighth gate?

"Yes, my lady. You puked out all the medicines and spares that the Medallion prescribed. He called and the Medallion said he should get more along with some lubricants. He suspected that your gut tube bolts were getting rusty, you may need a light surgery to replace them."

"Oh..."

That was my only response. Why was I puking so much? I hate tablets but still, I don't puke them. I'm definitely healthy and I'm definitely not pregnant. I saw my period this month so... what... am I really coming down with something? I hope it's just the rusty bolts like the Medallion is suspecting.

"His lordship seems to care about you a lot and vice versa for you, my Lady."

Rhea's eyes crinkled with her broad grin. She had placed my breakfast on the table next to the bedstand. She bowed and excused herself.

Rhea's response isn't out of the ordinary. People usually interpret others' intentions based on outward behaviours and appearances.

Luke has a pretty face and he is still a genius despite being a forever horny asshole. I'm sure if he had been decent to me and lascivious when he's out of the mansion Rhea wouldn't be able to tell.

It would be nice if he has actually changed but I've become so accustomed to neglect so Luke's superficial care... feels torturous. I can't help feeling uneasy and wondering what he could possibly be up to this time. I suspect Melody found out about my filing for a divorce and reprimanded him on my behalf not to hurt me.

Fucker, you're doing this because of her, aren't you?

It would be nice to believe and the previous me would delude myself into believing it so I can salvage this moment for as long as I can, but... I can't do that anymore. Bloom deserves better. I don't want her to put her trust in him only to have it shattered to smithereens in the end.

Fidgeting, I sighed as I glanced out the window.

I can't believe I'm saying this but I wish he'd go back to the way he's been treating me before. It felt like my heart was getting ripped out every time but at least I could tell what he was thinking.

The aroma of the perfectly seasoned porridge and apple salad drifted in the air. It made my nose crinkle in delight. I'll just sit up in bed and have some.

I pulled the covers over me and reached for the bowl.

"And what the hell do you think you're doing?"

I flinched involuntarily. Luke was back.