Freezing Luck (Arcturus Arc Part 15)

The past Arcturus was trembling. He was doing his best to stay warm by igniting matches; he gathered several and then lit one of them to make a makeshift campfire. The warmth was only minimal as the cold still dominated; his teeth slightly clattered.

Am I going to die here? Am I going to waste my lifespan healing myself from hypothermia?

His lips curled into a smile; instead of clattering teeth, he heard silence. The silence was then broken by forced laughter. "I see now. This is Nathaniel's ultimatum, isn't it? Regardless of the circumstance, he wants me dead cold and alone. How cruel. Does he really hate Dad so much?" His laughter, soft at first, gradually grew louder; the present Arcturus felt a chill down his spine as he witnessed his past self's countenance contorting into a hysterical one.

A plethora of negative thoughts swirled his mind, Nathaniel Hope, I hope your company goes bankrupt! Curse you and your lineage for all eternity! A bastard like you doesn't deserve to live! The cold was making his head ache, yet his pain was not of any concern.

The present Arcturus shuddered at his own thoughts as they became darker. It pained him to rehash the darkest moments of his life—the moment where his passionate and innocent self became the weary and emotionally unstable man he is today. He wanted to avoid it, yet knew Nova wouldn't allow it.

"According to your memories, you were supposed to arrive in Eternally in a month, but it took you an additional three months to arrive due to the lifeboat," Nova remarked. "It was all because of Nathaniel, wasn't it? He had deceived you about being close to your father and made you trust him. He hated Arthur and since he had disappeared, he decided to take out his hatred on you, his son."

Arcturus fixated his attention on Nova and not on his past self. "You're correct. I had overheard the crewmates trying to sabotage the computer in order to escape themselves and leave me in the dark so that I could die faster. Kori did his best to dispose of them before they could dispose of me."

"He was quite the loyal boy, despite not being a real person."

Arcturus narrowed his eyes. "He's real."

Nova realized his mistake and looked away in regret. Arcturus also felt bad for glaring at him. The silence between them became tense; it was hard for them to be the initiator.

The past Arcturus's thoughts became silent as he sighed. He sat up and stared at the vast ocean; the present Arcturus did the same. The ocean was called the Emerald Ocean due to its emerald green hue; it was one of the four oceans of Terrenter—they were all named after gemstones due to their hues being similar to those minerals.

"The Emerald Ocean is always beautiful," Nova remarked.

"It is."

"Do you know about the urban legends of the four oceans?"

"Of course. There are supposedly four large sea creatures in each ocean. The Emerald Ocean supposedly harbors a terrifying whale creature called the DEW."

"The DEW?" Nova seemed puzzled. "Scientists sure are strange nowadays. Why would they name something scary after a small droplet of water?"

Arcturus did his best to hold back his laughter. "DEW is the abbreviation for Despair Emerald Whale. Apparently, the DEW is a whale that can supposedly sense people's despair and attack them."

"Sounds fictional."

"Well, it is an urban legend. We have yet to know if it really exists. I didn't encounter it at all despite my despair."

"That means you're lucky."

"I'm not sure that not encountering a supposed urban legend is supposedly lucky. I'm not even sure why we're having a conversation about this."

"I just wanted to initiate a conversation…"

Arcturus couldn't help but burst out a chuckle. The awkwardness was apparent, and he found it amusing how they both wanted to start but didn't know how. Laughing it away seemed like a good solution too. Nova responded back with a chuckle as well.

Suddenly, Arcturus heard a slight collision noise and looked back to see a wooden box floating on the water. The past Arcturus had heard it too, for he approached present Arcturus's direction; seeing how his past self went through him as if he were a hologram both fascinated and terrified him; it felt unsettling for someone to permeate through him.

The past Arcturus pulled the box out of the water and onto the boat. He opened it to reveal some items inside. They were a coat, a scarf, a hat and a pair of goggles.  The sight of them made him stare at the earring resting on the palm of his hand.

Am I allowed to assume that this was Kori who had sent this to me as a farewell gift and not one of those traitors that had planned to escape with this in tow?

It had been hours since the explosion; Arcturus had missed Kori very much. He had decided to go with his former assumption just to save his sanity. As he put on the clothes to warm himself, he noticed another item in the box. There were many jars of an opaque, cubic substance.

"Wow, that's a lot of iridescent ice. Good thing there is also canned food here. It's not going to last me long, but at least I won't die of starvation. Iridescent ice though…I'm not even sure if this will sustain me long enough."

That was all in the box. Because of the width of the boat, Arcturus had to put the empty box back in the water. He watched it float away further away from him until it was no longer in his line of sight; he then lied down and stared at the sky.

The current Arcturus then noticed Nova smiling at him. "What is it?"

"See? I did say you're lucky. That box came to you when you needed it most. It gave you important items for survival."

"Luck isn't absolute, you know. You can't just rely on it all the time."

"I believe the opposite. Luck can get people far. Sure that it can be a fleeting force, but it's inevitable. Luck is a factor to why humans are alive in this world today."

Arcturus realized Nova's words had a lot of truth in them. Being the only survivor of a trap that was meant for him to be the only casualty really was luck. If he hadn't stumbled across the truth, he would have died. 

The past Arcturus, however, had different thoughts. The present Arcturus could hear how negative his past thoughts were.

Why am I even alive here? It's obvious that I'm going to die. Everyone I care about is far from my reach or gone. Mom's dead. Dad's somewhere. Kori's dead. Ariel is in Lamina. Grandma and Grandpa are in Lamina. Landon and the others are in Lamina. Nathaniel is a bastard.

The thought of Nathaniel had made his blood boil; the present Arcturus felt it with his own body.

I shouldn't think about him again. He just irritates me now. The past Arcturus sighed as he continued to feel the listlessness of his situation. The sky's so gray. It reminds me of Kori's hair when he doesn't wash for a few days.

Bringing up Kori brought an overwhelming sadness within him; it was a sharp pain poking his heart. The pinch that the earring gave on his palm when he clenched it tightly was miniscule compared to his loss. He reminisced about Kori's last words before their separation.

"Go get my wish granted…" He muttered. Can it even come true? Will it come true? Is Souhait even real?

Doubt clouded his mind. He felt weak and lost. He didn't want to move; he just wanted to stay immobile until the end. He wondered where this ocean would take him and if Eternally really was on the map.

"This sucks. Everything sucks. Why is my life full of misfortune?"

He then reached his hand out and observed the earring Kori had given to him. It was yellow; its bright hue annoyed him. "Why is this so bright? It's annoying."

Come to think of it, Kori once said that yellow is the color of happiness. Did he give his earring to me so that I can be happy throughout the rest of my life?

The present Arcturus felt warmth accumulating in his body. He knew that this was when he found hope in his despair. He saw his past self sit up and place the earring to his unpierced earlobe. With all the force he could muster into his gloved fingers, the earring pierced through; the pain was brief. When he removed his hand, he felt the new weight on his left ear; it was a strange feeling at first, but he knew he would get used to it.

"Kori, I'll keep going. I will get my wish granted. I will prove to the world that Souhait exists." He then grabbed his satchel and rummaged inside to find his journal. Before he opened it, he clutched it with both hands. Taking a deep breath, he slammed the book onto his forehead. The sound of the collision echoed throughout the horizon. With determination, he opened the journal and started writing.

When Kori had asked me what my wish was long ago, I couldn't answer him because of uncertainty. Now, I know what I want. My wish is—

The memory abruptly ended. Arcturus closed his eyes to recall all that had happened. He had thought he was able to move on afterwards, but he couldn't. Whenever he had thought of Kori, guilt latched onto him like glue. The fact that he had found determination to move forward after losing Kori was a memory he had forgotten until now. Kori wanted him to continue. Arcturus wanted to continue. Losing sight of that determination and clinging onto the negative thoughts and loss of Kori had hardened him in the worst way. He was going to honor Kori's sacrifice. He promised himself to not shroud himself with guilt the next time Kori appeared in his memories.

Arcturus turned to Nova. He stared at him straight at his lavender eyes. He knew what his wish was and was determined to say it aloud.

Nova caught on what he was thinking. With a grin, he commanded, "Say it aloud with confidence. I want to know your certainty."

Arcturus took a deep breath. "My wish is for wishes to come back to this world. If people have wishes, Terrenter can transform into a harmonious world like it was once in the past. If the world is harmonious, anomalies like us can be accepted. We wouldn't have to be discriminated against anymore and live as equals with the others. The world's future would be very bright." He saw himself reflected in Nova's eyes. 

With a joyous demeanor, Nova nodded, "I like that wish."

A window in the wooden library forcefully opened; a strong breeze intruded on them as the library dissipated. He was back in the meadow, but it looked different. The grandiose apple tree was still there, but there was an unfamiliar lavender door in the entrance. He had remembered the door was red when he had entered his memories.

Nova approached the door and then turned around to reach a hand out to him. "It's time. Let's meet Souhait. He wants to meet you." He then pointed towards the lavender door. "Open that door. He awaits you."

With excitement, Arcturus approached the door. He was hesitant, but he mustered courage to place a hand on the knob, turn it and open it. He took a foot out and went inside.