Your Smile

Never did I imagine Orchid Room could be so zealous! How could just one soul make such a tremendous impact? Watching you walk in with a child like awe, made me look around too. How does it feel for an outsider to see this great room? To experience the subtlety? Do you like this room, Wei? Does it fascinate you? Would it be alright if I ever shared with you that this room has seen me cry in silence? At times I hate the silence in here. It's too silent even for me, Wei.

In my childhood I was so scared to break the silence in here that often I held my breath. Trust me, if I would have held it a bit longer... would it have made any difference?

The doors to this room are always open, even during chilly winters, the cold seeps into one's bones. It doesn't matter if you're a kid and unwell, all that counts is if you have finished studying.

Wei, I wish to have been as unaffected as this harsh Gusu winter, but alas, the moment I see you, your smile, it melts the glacier of my heart.

It scares me to see you walk in, what if they change you too? Please don't change. This heart of mine just begs of you, Wei Ying.

My eyes just pursue your every movement. Disciples may come and go, but you're the one that counts most. Admiring your equation with your Shijie, reminds me of GeGe and mine. Pure.

"Elder Lan." Jiang Cheng bows down as Jiang YanLi and Wei Wuxian stand by his side respectfully. "We have gifts for you from the Yunmeng Sect, please accept our humble heart."

Gege smiles kindly at them as Uncle nods and accepts their gifts. Just as they were to leave, a group of people rudely barge through the doors of Orchid room and with a mock of indifference, they fail to pay their salutations towards Uncle and Gege.

Wen Clan.

They were the fifth dominant clan in this realm.

One being Gusu Lan Clan.

Second, is the Yunmeng Jiang Clan.

Fourth, is the Qinghe Nie Clan.

Third, is the Lanling Jin Clan.

Fifth, is the Qishan Wen Clan.

"So, this is Gusu Lan Clan?" The heir to the Wen Clan, Wen Chao smirks, "How disgusting is this place?" Their mockery irks a lot of us, but the only one to raise his objection was Wei Ying. "Hey! Watch it! You cannot insult the elders here. Seems you haven't been taught any manners!"

Quick to raise their swords against Wei,  Yunmeng Sect was not the one to back down and instantly reciprocated to fight them in a battle. Watching a blade pressed against Wei's throat did not sit well with me, but one look at my brother and I knew, this is his matter to handle.

"Battle is forbidden inside the walls of Cloud Recess. Young Master Wen, I am sure you will appreciate the laws of our land." Diffusing the matter like a true leader, Gege's kind smile has an effect on everyone present and they withdraw their swords.

With a subtle look at me, Gege nods and I knew he wanted to talk to me in private. For now it seemed that even Yunmeng Sect were contemplating their moves.

"Wangji" my brother calls out once all the disciples leave for their chambers.

I bow "Gege."

"You seem quite uncomfortable, is something bothering you?" He enquires and I know he can read me at my best.

"Wen Clan." is all I say and he nods too.

"Agreed, they have joined us, which is quite surprising as they had declined our offer before, but please know that for now they're our guest, let us treat them with utmost respect." His underlying statement was that even if they're our guests, I had to keep an eye on them and report if they're causing any nuisance.

I don't meet the Yunmeng duo for rest of the day, but at as I walk past his chamber at night, my gaze lingers on his lit room. He hasn't slept yet. It's 9pm. Not wanting to ponder much on Wei, I leave without another word.

Restlessness!

That's what I feel deep within. Waiting for him the next morning to join us for our studies makes me absolute jittery. I look at the blank page in front of me and reminisce to a moment from last night. Thinking about it makes me feel warm. Coming back from my usual rounds after walking past his room, I hear splash of water in a stream. Making my way towards the sound, I wanted to inspect the matter and was surprised to find that it was, Wei!

Hair free from ribbon he sported, rivulets of water was shimmering all over his back, hair swept to the side, his eyes were closed, as if in deep thoughts. Irony was that my feet were pointed in his direction. My body wished to join his, but with great efforts I walked away from his sinful self.

Why do you affect me so much?

A moment at my peripheral makes me look up and there you are, your innocent wave of hand causes my heart to lurch with happiness.

Can you see it? Maybe you can't? Throughout the lecture, your every move, your every whisper, your every breath, makes me yearn for you!

Can you feel my heartbeat?

Our class starts and today it's Uncle who was tutoring us. Wei being who he is and unable to control his compulsive nature to be mischevious, uses an age old trick.

Paperman.

One would write an incantation on a piece of paper, making it come alive and then commanding to one's whims and fancies.

Today it seems Uncle is Wei's target. As he passes by, Wei commands the paperman to tag onto Uncle's shoulders and entire class breaks out into fits of laughter. My heart sinks, if your caught, you would be punished. I can't witness you being reprimanded, Wei. With no second thoughts, I hurry and remove it. Please Wei, don't do it. Not towards him. Please.

Yet he doesn't pay heed and proceeds to use that paperman on me!

A small part of me was ecstatic. No one ever gave me an ounce of their affection. This was  first time someone played a prank on me out of goodwill. But in the end I was unable to truly enjoy it as this soul was ultimately scared that Uncle would punish you.

Did you know when uncle asked you a question on cultivation and you replied as to why not use a fourth method? Resentment! We were all truly shocked. I was too! How could one ever think of such method of cultivation for it is considered to be an absolute taboo? I always wanted to ask you about it, never had the chance, less that I knew one day...

Uncle was furious and I was truly terrified to think that you would be commanded to leave. No please don't go! I can't see you leave so soon! So when he ordered you to copy Gusu rules and asked me to monitor your progress, I secretly thanked all my stars. I know we could never have anything more than a platonic relationship, but spending time with you, was sufficient for this Wangji's heart, Wei Ying.

Entering the library pavillion and watching you kneely behind those books I was pretending to read, using the pretext to watch  your progress, I secretly admired every sinew of your beautiful face.

So pure. So chaste. So radiant.

One such time I encouraged myself to take a peek at you and my breathing faltered at the sight of your sleeping face. That afternoon, when no one was around, I slowly walked up to you. Crouching in front of your sleeping form, you were in deep slumber and I was mesmerized as the sun lazily caressed your honey kissed face. Your eyelashes shimmered under the soft sunshine. Your faint freckles were more prominent. Those soft hairs on your face were golden hues. Your smile was plump and raw. Unable to just be contented, I picked up the quill which was unmarred with ink and used the tip to lightly brush it against your mole. Very slowly I traced the bottom of your lip when you suddenly bit them and my eyes widened. They appeared to have bitten the ripeness of an apple.

Shaking from the web of lust I created for myself, I quickly trudge back to Jingshi. Even as my soul medicated to sound of nature, my mind still could not escape his charms. My heart is ruined. I only hope, I could last with him not being around.

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