Epilogue

Epilogue 1 —Aqua—

A while after the battle with that weird demon…

…Kazuma and I were summoned to the Adventurers Guild.

Geez… Kazuma. That Kazuma.

How does he get us into one potentially deadly situation after another like

this? If I ever see another general of the Demon King, it'll be too soon. If only

we could have a boring day once in a while.

Sure, I want to hurry up and get back to Heaven, but somehow it's been

nothing but hard times since we got to this world.

"…It's weird. It's like you have these great talents, but they're all for things

that are totally pointless," Kazuma muttered as I drew a picture with water

from my glass.

"Well, of course. Just who do you think I am?"

For someone who could control water at will, this was merely…

"If you called yourself the goddess of artists, maybe someone would actually

believe you."

I was tempted to fling a holy fist right at that dumb mouth of his. But I

remembered my immense dignity and refrained.

It was definitely my dignity that kept me from doing it and not my fear of how

he might get me back.

Because I'm not afraid of that. Not at all.

Kazuma has to struggle every day with the problems Megumin causes and

with Darkness's nonsense. I at least can try to be nice to him. Everyone else in

the party is an irresponsible child. As a goddess, I have to watch over them.

"…Hey. What are you thinking? Something weird, I'll bet. I see that pitying

look. I hate that look."

Here I am being the most grown-up person in the room, and look what he

accuses me of. Is he drinking enough milk? I've heard a lack of calcium makes a

person irritable.

But I'm sure he'll learn to be more forgiving, starting today.

Because the reason we were called here is…

Epilogue 2 —Megumin—

I'm afraid I was not much help this time around.

I do cause Kazuma trouble on a daily basis—even if not as much as Aqua or

Darkness—so I thought this one time, maybe I could do as he asked.

As the rational thinker in this party, it behooves me to be the most collected.

On the table, my familiar, Chomusuke, showed her affection for Kazuma.

Perhaps he'd endeared himself to her by feeding her back at home.

"…I don't get it. This thing seems really fond of me. But it won't even go near

Aqua. Maybe it's true what they say about animals being able to tell who's a

good person."

"I was just thinking how sorry I feel for you with all the problems you have to

solve every day. I was going to show how magnanimous I can be by cutting you

some slack. But I can't quite ignore what I just heard. It sounded to me like you

said that despite all my holiness I am somehow not a good person."

"Yeah. That's exactly what I'm saying."

Chomusuke came running to me to avoid the fight brewing between Kazuma

and Aqua. I picked her up and put her on my shoulder, where she always sat.

In a corner of the Guild, Yunyun, who was supposed to help me clear

Kazuma's name, sat eating by herself.

She didn't have to. It was time for her to stop getting so caught up in our socalled rivalry and come join us.

I would have to thank her later. Admittedly, Kazuma had done a fine job on

his own of convincing everyone he wasn't one of the Demon King's spies. But

she had helped in the background.

"Errgh… I can't take any more…"

The mutter came from the seat across from Kazuma.

Darkness collapsed over the table, quaking, her face red.

Adventurers of every stripe had been calling out to her for some time now,

and with every shout she grew redder.

She was the oldest of our party members but perhaps the least worldly. She

tried to act cool, but it was actually quite simple to get a rise out of her. Those

factors together made it intensely tempting to tease her from time to time.

…All right. I rose from my seat and approached her…

Epilogue 3 —Darkness—

Oh my gods.

How did this happen?

"How long are you going to keep babbling?! Do you realize you're responsible

for more of the things that I'm on trial for than anyone else? From most to least

troublesome, the order goes: you, Megumin, Darkness! If you've finally got that

through your thick skull, then go sit in the corner and count the specks of dust

on the wall or something until I've got my award!"

"Waaaaaaah! How could you be so cruel, Kazuma?! It's not like I cause

problems deliberately! With the flood damage from our battle with Beldia, the

spirit barrier around the graveyard that caused all those hauntings—I was just

trying to do what was best!"

"Pardon me, but I was of the belief that I was the least troublesome."

I leaned on the table with my head in my hands, watching the three of them

argue out of the corner of my eye.

Suddenly, someone called from behind me.

"Hey there, Lalatina! That's your name, isn't it? Cute!"

I trembled.

"Lalatina, sweetheart, we've got to get you some clothes that are as cute as

your name! I'll help you pick some out!"

I trembled a little more.

"'Lalatina,' huh? Sounds all…high-class and cultured."

Aww, gimme a break…!

We'd gotten through the whole mess with Lord Alderp, but now I had a new

problem…

I raised my head, tears in my eyes, and glared at the source of all this teasing

from the other adventurers.

"Ooh, what's with the scary face, Lalatina? It doesn't suit someone with such

a sweet name."

"Grrrrrr…!"

I could feel my face grow hot right up to my ears, but I gritted my teeth and

bore Kazuma's taunt.

He had promised after he bested me in our duel that he would do something

so awful it would make me weep…and he'd delivered.

Hrr, curse me! To lose my nerve at the last minute, when I'd been so close to

victory…!

Old Alderp, for his part, hadn't said anything after all that had taken place.

But he was a stubborn one, and I seriously doubted I'd heard the last of him.

"Ooh, looks like they're starting. Catch you in a few…Lalatina!"

I grabbed a wooden cup nearby and flung it at Kazuma as he stood up.

Epilogue 4 —Kazuma—

"Adventurer Sir Kazuma Satou." I stood at the front counter of the Guild, the

intent gaze of every adventurer in the room fixed on me. "I hereby present you

with this award and a letter of gratitude from the town. In addition, I offer my

profound apologies for suspecting you in any ill capacity."

With that, I accepted the letter of gratitude from Sena, who gave me a deep

bow of her head.

It was a week after our battle with Vanir.

We had been cleared of any suspicion of being spies for the Demon King on

the logic that if we were working for him, we would never have gone so far as

to defeat one of his generals, up to and including how we put our lives on the

line.

Sena, after watching the battle firsthand, had arranged for me to be cleared

of the sedition charge and to receive my due reward for my role in defeating

Destroyer—even if it was a bit later than everyone else's.

For me, just being out from under the threat of the death penalty was

practically reward enough. And I was very grateful for the thought that I might

actually be able to repay our debts.

We had been summoned to the Guild today, since Darkness's wounds had

finally healed.

"And to the noblewoman Lalatina Ford Dustiness. Your act of self-sacrifice in

this matter was beyond reproach. In respect of the honor you have done the

Dustiness name, the royal family sends you a letter of their gratitude, as well as

a full set of the finest armor money can buy to replace that which you lost in

battle."

The Knights approached from a respectful distance, bearing a new set of

armor for Darkness, who was beet red and trembling.

Megumin's Explosion had vanquished the masked Devil Vanir.

Darkness had been left in a crater, with near-fatal wounds and without her

precious armor.

Aqua had nursed her back to health, leading us here today, but…

"Congrats, Lalatina!" someone shouted. Darkness twitched.

"Yeah, way to go, Lalatina!"

"That's our Lalatina for you!"

"Lalatina! You're so cute! Lalatina!"

As one person after another called out to her with her real name, Darkness

covered her face with both hands—blushing up to her ears—and leaned on the

table again.

"This…this humiliation is not the kind of awful thing I was hoping for," she

muttered weakly, keeping her head down.

I'd said I would do something so bad she would weep.

All I'd done was keep my promise…

"But Darkness, I think Lalatina is a really cute name! I'll chew out Kazuma later

for spreading it around as a prank. But you should try to have a little more pride

in the name Lalatina!"

Aqua, completely well-intentioned, was oblivious to the fact that she was only

twisting the knife.

Megumin had come over to enjoy the show and shook with suppressed

laughter. Darkness's shoulders were shaking for an entirely different reason.

The Arch-wizard gave her a little pat. There, there.

In keeping with my promise to do something so awful it would make Darkness

weep, I had let everyone know her real name.

Now every adventurer who walked by teased her about it, but they would let

up in due course.

"Now, to continue. In the matter of Mr. Satou's reward." Sena's words

brought silence to the chattering in the Guild. "Adventurer Kazuma Satou and

party. You made immense contributions to the defeat of Mobile Fortress

Destroyer and were essential to our success in the battle with the Demon King's

general Vanir. In accordance with this…"

The intense, somber expression Sena had worn when she came with my

indictment had vanished, replaced with a soft, gentle smile.

"…minus your outstanding debt and the reparations for Lord Alderp's

mansion…"

She pulled out a piece of paper.

"…you are presented the amount of forty million eris. Congratulations on your

achievements!"

She handed me a bulging sack. Wild applause spread through the Guild as I

accepted it. Adventurers shouted in celebration and called out that I should

treat them.

The mood in the Guild Hall was jubilant.

I left it to Aqua—goddess of parties—and Megumin to handle the situation,

while Darkness got to her feet and exited the Guild with me.

Our debt had finally been settled.

Yet Darkness and I didn't find it very comforting.

…There was somewhere we had to go now.

There was someone we had to tell about the death of Vanir, general of the

Demon King.

Vanir had told us he'd come to this town to see a friend.

A friend who ran a junky little store and somehow managed to be penniless

no matter how hard she worked…

That could only be his fellow general—Wiz.

In other words, we had killed an old friend of hers.

He had been after Aqua, and as adventurers, we sort of had an obligation to

deal with him. But that was cold comfort now.

We were at the corner of a back road that didn't see many visitors, in front of

a store with a sign boasting WIZ'S MAGICAL ITEM SHOPPE.

"Kazuma. Let me tell Wiz about this one. Vanir and I wreaked havoc together

in the same body, even if it was just for a while. And though I can't agree with

his taunts about humans, I didn't think he was so bad… Even if he was kind of

obsessed with getting revenge on Aqua. Maybe it's not becoming for a Crusader

in the service of Our Lady Eris to say this, but… Well, I didn't hate him."

The whole time she spoke, Darkness gazed into the distance.

Wait. "We wreaked havoc together"? Geez. I thought she looked like she was

having an awfully good time taking out those adventurers.

In any case, I pushed open the front door and entered the shop.

"Welcome!"

A chipper voice greeted me. I could picture the smile on Wiz's face, and my

heart ached.

No sooner had I come in than I realized Wiz had a new employee, someone

else wearing the shop's characteristic apron.

The new person was tallish.

He was incredibly cheerful, and his lips were twisted into a big smile…!

"It's you! Welcome! Young woman who was standing outside the store

speaking as if ashamed, there is something I want to tell you. I gather you don't

hate me—but we Devils lack gender, so I'm afraid I can't respond to your blushinducing confession… Ooh, a most bitter embarrassment, how delectable!

What's wrong? Why are you in the fetal position? Did you really think I'd been

destroyed?! Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!"

The masked employee acted as if there was nothing unusual about his being

there.

He patted Darkness on the shoulder reassuringly as she sat on the floor of the

shop with her face in her knees and her cheeks red, trembling. That was when

Wiz poked her head out from a back room.

"Oh, Mr. Kazuma, welcome! I heard how you defeated Mr. Vanir and

convinced everyone you weren't a spy. Congratulations! Now all that's left is

your debt, right? But don't worry, Mr. Vanir here is very talented at earning

money…"

I held up one hand to stop the merry flood of words.

"You're right that my name's been cleared. But what's with this guy? He

seems pretty lively for someone who took a direct hit from Explosion. He

shouldn't even be here, should he? There isn't a scratch on him!"

Vanir seemed genuinely surprised by my question.

"What do you mean? Even I could hardly expect to weather a blast like that

without a scratch. Here, take a closer look at my mask."

He pointed to his face as he spoke.

I leaned in close and saw a Roman numeral II.

"That explosion cost me one of my lives, so this indicates that I am the second

Vanir."

"Get out."

My retort provoked calming murmurs from Wiz.

"Mr. Vanir has wanted to quit being a general of the Demon King's army for

some time now. It seems that, having been destroyed once, he came back again

in order to pursue his dream. He has already ceased supporting the spirit

barrier around the Demon King's castle. So he's perfectly harmless now."

Wiz smiled the whole time she spoke, perhaps happy to have been reunited

with her old friend.

Harmless, though…? Hmm…

Maybe I'd better get Aqua in here to destroy him one more time.

Just as I was mulling over the possibility…

"You, man who comes from a land far beyond. You, man who seeks to defeat

the Demon King though he has no talents and no strength. The all-seeing Devil

prophesies. In the not-too-distant future, you and the young woman curled up

and blubbering on the floor there will encounter a trial most difficult to

overcome. The trial will be great; it will make you keenly aware of your own

powerlessness. Until that time, good fortune will come of our cooperation in

business… I've got some good ideas. Want to hear them?"

(image Here)

Vanir's face scrunched up into a pleasant smile, even though everything

coming out of his mouth sounded like trouble.