As our fights started to drag on longer, I had more time to think and reflect. Of course, I still had to maintain a sharp concentration, but I'd grown enough that I could start to consider things other than the immediate battle before me.
In fact, fighting with Kenji had started to become simple routine; it was almost meditative. Well, maybe this was just a result of my mind being gradually broken down over the extended time I'd been here, fighting constantly without pause.
Still, it didn't seem to be a bad thing that I was starting to feel a little more relaxed. In fact, this was one of the things that I'd been thinking about lately.
Since the moment I was transported to this place, I had been unusually collected about the whole ordeal. Why hadn't I panicked and screamed from the start? Of course, I was definitely fearful and nervous, but not as much as I should have probably been.
Even when Kenji had started beating the shit out of me, answering none of my questions no matter how much I begged, and rarely even speaking a word to me, I'd still remained relatively focused and clear-headed.
This wasn't normal. Nor was it healthy behavior. I could understand if it was a gradual change. Maybe it was due to the fact that I hadn't really been given a chance to let it all sink in from the start?
That was a decent possibility, but there was another equally possible answer that was significantly more dangerous. Fuck, I might have just been a little crazy from the start. At the very least, I was definitely going a little crazy now.
I'd have to keep checks on myself. I'd monitor my growth and ensure that my personality and internal behavior wasn't becoming too risky.
I was going to return home. If I wanted to go back, I'd have to maintain my sanity.
There was still something bugging me, though. From the very beginning, there was something that I'd been rejecting internally, that had started to grow recently to the point that I could no longer ignore it.
As scared as I was, as much as I wanted to avoid the pain, as much as I wanted to take a break and stop, I found that some part of me was enjoying myself. The thrill. The danger. The growth.
Fuck. Either this place had thoroughly corrupted me, or I was just fucked up before I showed up, and it was bringing this desire into the light.
I wanted to win.
Hap!
And this was my next step towards victory. The edge of my blade was stopped by the back of Kenji's hand, only a couple inches from his neck. I could feel myself getting closer and closer.
And I knew, before he even said anything, that the battle would become even harder now.
"Acceptable."
Finally.
"Rest. Tomorrow, technique."
As he walked away, I couldn't help but laugh out loud as I collapsed to my knees, my face contorting into a broken smile.
Haha.
Hahahahaha.
Ahhhhhhhh, fuck. It felt so good. I hadn't won, but it sure felt like I did. I can't fucking wait to kill this piece of shit.
That night was quiet. I couldn't sleep.
How could I? I hadn't done anything but fight for weeks, let alone sleep. I felt bored. It made my nerves go crazy. I couldn't stand it. So I picked up my sword and swung it. Over and over again, until Kenji showed up. Fuck, finally. I was so goddamn bored.
I pointed my sword at him.
"You took your sweet time, you lazy bastard. Show me what you've got."
As I spoke, Kenji looked surprised. And then, a terrifying, devilish smile crossed his face. He dropped his cigarette.
"It seems you've been sufficiently broken down. Get ready to be built back up, Daniel."
Then, in an instant, his face was an inch from mine.
"I'm going to make a monster out of you."
Do your fucking worst, you trash.
And with that, I was plunged into depths of hell that I hadn't before even fathomed.