“I froze”

Bea's POV

It's Summer!!! I know, it's crazy.

And I'm surprisingly on good terms with everyone.

Luckily I still have -

"Good morning Gorgeous,"

"Good morning Josh, you excited for today?"

"Yeah, I mean the last time I saw Ryan he punched me. But other than that, yeah I'm fine."

Well, hopefully things will be better with Ryan especially as he has a girlfriend, Steph.

I know, I do find it slightly strange that Steph and I have basically swapped partners but it's alright. As long as she's happy.

"I think I should start living here,"

Josh, he could live here. However am I ready for that? Someone else in my space.

My parents moved to Italy one month ago, so during this time I've been here by myself (and Josh).

"I think-"

*doorbell rings

"Bea. Who's at the door?"

"I don't have a fucking clue,"

I open the doo-

"Bea, darling!"

"Mum, what are you doing here?"

"I thought I'd surprise you," she leans in closer "and put some clothes on."

"I am weari-"

"A real lady should never reveal their lingerie."

Here she goes...

"Anyways, let me in-"

And that was how my mum died of a heart attack. Seeing my boyfriend topless in boxers, in her house.

"Good morning Bea's mum," he just stood there like a fucking fool with his arm out for a handshake.

"Who are you?"

"Oh," he put his arm around me, "I'm Bea's boyfriend."

My mum stood there confused.

"No, you're not. Ryan is."

"Mum, a lot has chang-"

"I see. Nowadays you have topless boys at my house without my permission."

"Mum, please don't make it a big deal."

She walks outside and shouts "Charlie," the driver "Please take this boy back to wherever he came from."

I look at Josh, mouthing "sorry" as he walks out,

"Mum. How dare you!"

"Don't you dare talk to me that way. I'm protecting you darling."

"You aren't doing shit."

"Oh, so now this boy has made you swear too."

"Mum stop. I- I love him."

"You can't, hun it won't work."

"Why," my words start to slur, tears now flooding on my face.

"Is it because of my skin colour?"

"Darling,"

"NO. MUM, you of all people should know how it feels. I'm doing to date him. He loves me,

I love him."

"I know, but I'm protecting yo-"

"From what?"

"BEA. The world that we live in- how do I put this."

"Not it's fine, there's not way to put it Mum"

"Ok, well I'm only trying to protect you. What are you doing today"

"I'm going to Thailand with my friends"

"Oh yes! Your birthday trip. Well I'll leave you darling, but remember Bea it's not always just Black and White."

"Thank you mum," I hugged her, and she left.

My mum just doesn't understand that I love Josh more than I loved Ryan.

Opens groupchat

Grace- hey guyss

Theo - hey babe

Ryan- eww

Josh- cringing

Grace - guys stfu

Ryan - babe

Bea- yh

Steph- yh

I guess I'm still getting used to this...

Ryan - can I see your bikini

Steph-

Bea- hottt

Grace- hott

Ryan- u look beautiful

Bea- when is everyone coming to mine?

Grace- Theo, Josh and I are outside

"HEY BEA!!" Grace pulls me in for a hug,

"Hey Grace, you look amazing"

"It's because of me," Theo smiles "she loves me."

I'll be honest. I never thought they would last, but I'm happy they did.

"Aww, well where's Josh."

"Josh is here BABE." Josh walks in, drunk.

"Are you drunk babe," I whisper

"WHO fucking cares."

"Babe, just calm down."

"No, I won't. You lied to me Bea. You said that you told your parents about me. But no, they still think you're dating Ryan. You're ashamed of me."

He storms off into the living room.

"I'll go sort that out," Theo runs after him

*doorbell rings

"Bea, hey girl."

"Hey Steph,"

"Hey Bea, you look nice." Ryan pulls me in for a hug

"I missed you Bea."

"The boys are in the living room." Ryan leaves,

"Bea are you okay?"

Am I okay? My boyfriend is possibly an alcoholic. He shouted at me. He's mad at me. My ex misses me, strange. And I don't know how I feel.

"No- no I'm not."

-10.45pm

Dinner is done. I'm done, I'm just tired and ready for tomorrow.

"Ok guys, let me tell you the rooms."

"So, me and Josh will be in my parents roo-"

"WILL WE? Do your parents know that I'll be sleeping with you, or do they think it's your boyfriend Ryan."

"Grace and Theo will be in my roo-"

"I'm not sharing a room with you Bea. Go and sleep with Ryan, go and fuck him instead."

I- I don't know what to say

"And Steph and Ryan, you guys can go in the room next to ours." Grace finishes my sentence.

I froze. Josh made me freeze. I run upstairs into my parents room and let my tears flood.

"Bea can I come in?" It's Ryan.

I nod yes,

"Are you okay?"

"Of course I am! Anyone would be happy having - a boyfriend who's always "spirited" and never sober."

"Bea-"

"It's like having a permanent happy hour in my own home. Don't get me wrong, it was fun at first. But now, it's just exhausting."

He sighs,

"I mean, how many times can one person listen to slurred words and drunken ramblings before they start to lose their mind? And don't even get me started on the empty bottles and hangover mornings." I lean on his shoulder,

"I mean every fucking fight, he has to drink. And everything I do- it's always wrong for him."

"Maybe he can find a new drinking buddy instead of a girlfriend" I slap Ryan on the arm,

"Ryan, you can't make jokes like that"

"Come on," he signals for a hug, "bring it in Bea"

Well, well, well. Looks like we've got ourselves a classic case of "hug your ex and catch feelings" syndrome.

And what's the cause? Oh, just a little something called "my current boyfriend might be an alcoholic."

Sounds like a real recipe for a healthy relationship, doesn't it?

But hey, who needs stability and trust when you can have unresolved emotions and uncertainty?

Might as well throw caution to the wind and let those new feelings run wild. After all, what could go wrong? Just make sure to keep that hug with your ex on standby for when things inevitably fall apart.

"Bea. What. The. Fuck." He runs downstairs, I follow him outside.

"Josh. Where are you going?"

"Home, I'll meet you at the airport tomorrow."

"Babe you can't leave, I need you."

"No you need Ryan. I thought we could work Bea, but we can't. Because you're still in love with Ryan."

Am I?

I walk back in to the house and-

"Bea, are you okay?"

They all stood there. They all saw me get shouted at.

"Yeah I'm fine, go to sleep guys."

-3.30am

———————————————————————————

Josh's POV

I can't sleep. I've had too much to drink, but I want Bea back.

I love her so much, she doesn't understand.

I just push her away because-

*doorbell rings

"Hey Josh."

It was Melanie, as in. My old best friend Melanie.

As in friends with benefits Melanie.

Here we go.

"Why are you here?

"You called me- fuck how drunk are you?"

"Did I?"

"You haven't called me in ages, so I'm guessing you need me for a reason."

"I- I don't know."

Well, well, well. Look who's in a bit of a pickle.

Me.

-4.40am

I've done the deed. Can't go back now, but I need advice.

I need Theo, I start calling him

"Bro. Why the fuck are you calling at this time?"

"I need your help."

"Wait, let me leave the room. I can't wake up Grace."

I tell him everything.

"You got head from a girl, but you're missing your girlfriend? What a predicament."

"Shut the fuck up. What if Bea finds out?"

"Maybe you should have thought about that before puckering up with someone else."

"Fuck off."

"I mean who needs one girlfriend when you can have two?"

"Bro, I'm asking for advice. What should I do?"

"Just be sure to keep your lips sealed tight about this little situation, unless you want to end up single and alone."

"I mean- that's good."

"And hey, if things don't work out with either of them, there's always the option of getting a pet instead."

"Yeahh, I can do that"

"Fuck bro, you're so drunk."

"I know."

"Are you okay Theo?"

I recognise that voice,

"Who is that in the background Theo?"

"It was Bea."

"Fuck, put her on the phone."

——————————————————————————

Bea's POV

Josh wants to talk to me. Here we fucking go.

"Hey BEA!"

"Hey Josh. Why are you talking to me?"

"Woah, why are you being rude?"

"Because, you shouted at me and raged when you left."

"Fuck, did I?"

"Yeah you did."

"I'm sorry babe, I love you so much, you know that right?"

"Yeah, and I also know that you are very drunk right now."

"I'm sorry. Why don't you come over?"

"No, it's fine babe get rest and I'll see you tomorrow."

"Love you."

"Love you too"