9. Nancy

To say that Nancy did not get a good night's sleep would have been an understatement. Honestly, she wasn't sure she'd gotten a good night's sleep all year. If it wasn't nightmares, it was guilt, if it wasn't guilt, it was drunkenness, and last night, it had been pure terror that kept her awake, her brain wired and noisy as she stared at the ceiling.

Was she actually going to do this?

Yesterday, it had seemed like a good idea. A brilliant idea, actually. They just had to get into Hawkins Lab, get the scientists to incriminate themselves, and then release the tape to the media. Public outrage would force the government to shut down the lab, and all the people responsible would be put away. What happened to Barbara Holland would never happen again.

At least, Nancy hoped.

Now that she'd spent hours thinking it over, she was more skeptical. They would be going up against the government, and Eleven had called them the Bad Men for a reason. Even if Nancy could find a journalist willing to take the story, someone who wouldn't be paid off, there was no telling what kind of strings Hawkins Laboratory would pull the scenes. Evidence could be planted to ruin their reputations, actors hired to explain away the inconsistencies. Hell, this was the federal government. They could stage the destruction of the laboratory while all the scientists and agents and doctors moved to a new, quieter town where people were less suspecting.

And even if Nancy's plan did work, after this was all over and the lab was gone, the Bad Men would know exactly who was responsible. They would come for her, then Jonathan. Disappearances would raise eyebrows, but the government had faked deaths before.

"That'll be us," Christine had said. "Two girls that crashed their car on a road trip. Case closed."

Nancy stared solemnly down at her bedspread. It was true. There was every chance that the men from the lab would come after them, and…that would be it. She'd be dead or locked away, and her parents would never know the truth. Holly would never know the truth. The only one who would know was Mike, and what would he be able to do? Would he round up the rest of the party and try to find her? Would he end up another body in the quarry? Or would he grow up scared, knowing what would happen to him if he ever tried to fight back?

But that was exactly why she had to fight: for Mike, who'd lost one of his friends, the first girl he'd ever had a crush on. For Barb, who'd died scared and alone while Hawkins slept. For Christine, who was living under surveillance because she dared to stand up to the police chief. If they did nothing, the Bad Men won. And Nancy wasn't going to let that happen.

Steeling her resolve, she grabbed her bag and headed downstairs for breakfast.

Meals were usually quiet in the Wheeler house—it wasn't like they actually talked to each other—but today was quieter than usual. Her dad talked aimlessly about some car chase he'd seen on the news in Chicago, and how he couldn't understand why anyone would want to live in a "big, dangerous city." Her mother nodded politely and responded at the appropriate times, focusing most of her attention on little Holly. Mike picked sullenly at his bacon. He wasn't really eating, just using it to push his eggs around his plate. If Nancy wasn't so worried about drawing attention to herself, she might have asked him what was wrong.

She had to wait for the opportune moment. When her toast popped out, she got out of her seat and carefully cleared her throat.

"Hey Mom," she said casually, "just so you know, I'm staying over at Chrissy's tonight. Her dad's going away again, so we're gonna do our usual girls night."

"He's going away again?" her mother asked, sounding scandalized.

"Yeah. He only does it like, twice a year."

"I know, but…after last year…" She shook her head gravely as Nancy rejoined them at the table. "If I came home and one of you had broken your leg, I don't know if I could bring myself to leave again."

"Karen, relax," her father said. "The man's got to do his job. I wish my company paid to send me on vacation every six months. Then, I would consider going to Chicago."

Nancy briefly met Mike's eye, which was as close as they dared get to laughing.

Once they were dismissed, Nancy darted out the front door and called goodbye over her shoulder. She sped across the yard, keeping her head down, and headed straight for the beat up Ford that was waiting for her across the street.

Jonathan was nervously tapping the steering wheel, and jumped when she opened the door. "Oh—hey."

"Hey." Nancy tossed her bag in the back and swiftly climbed into the passenger seat. "Did you see your mom?"

"No. She was sleeping, but I left a note."

Nancy nodded, trying to hold onto that confidence she'd felt in her room. Now she was in the car, one step closer, she felt her heart skip a beat.

That'll be us. Two girls that crashed their car on a road trip. Case closed.

Her hands faltered on her seatbelt and she looked up at Jonathan. "You don't have to do this, you know."

She would never be able to admit how scared she was. She half-hoped he might sag in relief, tell her this was a dumb idea and they shouldn't go through with it. Instead…

"Stop saying that."

He smiled at her with the same terrified, optimistic confidence she'd felt this morning, and her heart swelled. She nodded, straightened up in her seat, and held on tight as he took off down the road.

They didn't speak for the first few blocks. Nancy wasn't sure if her voice could take it. If Jonathan could hear how nervous she was, he might turn the car around entirely. She tried to focus on the trees zipping by, the cars and bikes as people headed for work or school. It made her feel…small. She wasn't sure if that was good or bad.

"What about you?"

Nancy's head snapped around to look at Jonathan. "Hm?"

"What did you tell your parents when you left?" he clarified.

"Oh. I told them that I'm spending the night at Christine's. Her dad has these business trips that he has to take sometimes, and whenever he goes away, we usually have a sleepover. The…the three of us would have a sleepover."

She nodded to herself, picking at invisible lint on her sweater. She'd had plenty of sleepovers with Christine in the last year. Some of them felt normal, some of them didn't. To Nancy, Christine's house always felt worse. Their traditional girls' nights were just that: a tradition. They could gorge themselves on pizza and soda, watch movies until they fell asleep, play silly games like Truth or Dare—but it was different with the two of them.

"Is she okay?" Jonathan asked abruptly.

Nancy frowned. "…Barb…?"

"No, Christine. Did she say something that…? About…I mean, are you guys fighting again?"

"No," she answered, somehow even more confused. "Why do you ask?"

"Then…why didn't she want to come with us?"

"I didn't tell her we were going."

The car stopped short several feet before a stop sign, jolting Nancy in her seat. She turned to snap at Jonathan, only to find that he was staring at her in horror.

"What?" he demanded.

"What?" she repeated, baffled.

"You didn't tell her? About any of this?"

"No. I talked to her last night, but—I told my parents I was staying with her and I told her that I wasn't coming, because…it would feel too weird without Barb. The less she knows about this, the safer she is."

"Wow," he huffed, glaring at the road. "Well, thanks."

"You know what I mean."

Nancy wasn't sure what kind of response she'd expected from Jonathan, but it hadn't been this. She knew he and Christine had a tentative friendship, one that they rarely described as a friendship at all. It was nice to see Jonathan showing concern—she wanted them to get along, after all—but for some reason, it made her heart clench. She shifted uncomfortably in her seat.

"Did…did you want her to come?"

"No!" He answered immediately, probably harsher than he'd intended. He shook his head as he pulled the rest of the way up to the stop sign. "No, I just…you know, she already hates me."

"That's not true," Nancy assured him.

"Well, she doesn't like me. And after she finds out I kidnapped you for a super-secret, incredibly illegal, really, really stupid plan, she'll definitely hate me then."

"Wow. Well, thanks."

Jonathan shot her a look of grudging amusement. This time, Nancy knew why her heart clenched.

She averted her eyes to the dashboard, wringing her hands in her lap. Christine had called in a panic the night before, demanding to know why she'd vanished from school in the middle of the day. And Nancy wanted to tell her best friend the truth about what she was planning, but she knew that Christine wasn't going to like it. Despite all her anger, her resentment for the lab, Christine had been able to keep a level head over the last year; she was smart, pragmatic. It was exactly why Nancy wanted her here, but it was also the reason Christine couldn't know. She was the only person who might have been able to talk Nancy out of it.

So she'd lied. She told Christine that between the fight with Steve and the rapidly approaching anniversary of Barb's death, she just couldn't handle being in school. Jonathan had dropped her off at home and that had been the end of it. She was going to play sick for the rest of the week and she didn't want any visitors. For the next few days, she just wanted to be alone.

Christine hadn't pushed her. She was trying to respect Nancy's privacy, to give her the space she needed and be a good friend. Nancy felt awful lying to her, but the fact was, she was trying to be a good friend too. Even if Christine had wanted to come, it was too dangerous for her. If half the things she'd said about Hopper were true…

Nancy's eyes drifted to Jonathan in the driver's seat. She'd promised to keep that information confidential, but what if it was important? What if Hopper was at the lab? Was it better for Jonathan to be genuinely surprised, or to be prepared for what was waiting for them?

"Christine couldn't come with us," she began, in a voice quieter than she'd intended. "They'd know we were up to something."

"Like we're not up to something right now?" Jonathan asked dryly.

"No, I mean after. If she skips work tomorrow, they'll know. Apparently, she's…under surveillance."

"Wait, seriously? Why?"

Nancy bit her lip. She hadn't wanted to lie to Christine. She wasn't going to lie to Jonathan. Not after everything he was risking for her.

"Last year, after the…Demogorgon, or whatever it was. When we got back to the school, it was crawling with police, all those government agents and army cars. Remember?"

"Yeah," Jonathan agreed. "They found the kids before we got back."

"Right, but…they didn't just find them. Hopper…he told them where Eleven was so that he and your mom could go find Will. And it worked—which is great—but Christine called him out on it, and it sounds like he basically threatened her so she wouldn't tell anyone else. Now he's friends with her dad, and he goes to the movies every weekend to keep an eye on her."

Nancy watched Jonathan nervously, but he didn't respond. For a while, he just kept driving, staring darkly at the road ahead. It was blocks before he spoke, and even then, it didn't sound like he was really talking to her.

"He turned in Eleven to get Will back?"

She nodded timidly. "That's what she said."

"Shit. No wonder she hates me."

"It's not your fault that—"

"I know. But she and Eleven…they were close, right?"

"Yeah," Nancy sighed, sliding down in her seat. "She doesn't…really like talking about it. I mean, Eleven was only around for a couple days, but…Chrissy got really attached. Protective. I don't think El had really met another girl before. She was just so sheltered. She didn't know how to tell time or speak in full sentences or…any of it. So Christine made her waffles and showed off all of her favorite music, her yearbook, her clothes. I think…more than anything, she just wanted El to feel—"

"Free." Jonathan nodded glumly at the road. "She wanted to protect her. I know the feeling."

They didn't speak for the rest of the drive. It was harder, now that they were focused on the truth. Will had made it home okay, but some people hadn't. Barbara. Eleven. If Hopper had Christine boxed in tight enough that she couldn't fight back, then Nancy was going to do it for her. She wanted Chrissy to be able to go out at night without worrying, to walk the halls of her own house without feeling watched. They deserved to be free too.

They pulled into parking lot of Forrest Hills Park ten minutes early. There were plenty of people around: a group of schoolkids, older men reading the paper, house wives on their morning jogs. Any of them could have been the enemy, but some of them had to be innocent too. That's why Nancy and Jonathan had chosen the park as their meeting point; so there would be witnesses.

"You ready?" Jonathan asked.

"Yeah. I guess so."

He turned to her with another grave look, but did a double take. His eyes narrowed suspiciously. "What?"

"What do you mean 'what?'"

"Why are you smiling like that?"

Nancy pursed her lips together, trying to swallow her grin. She knew it was a completely inappropriate time. They were on a mission—a top secret, incredibly illegal, really, really stupid mission, as Jonathan had said—but that was exactly why it was so funny.

"What?" he asked again as she began to giggle.

"Sorry! Sorry, I just…we're trying to take down a secret government lab. Scientists who've…assassinated people and opened up portals and God knows what else…but you're worried because you think Christine's gonna hate you?"

Jonathan rolled his eyes. Still, Nancy could see the ghost of a smile.

"Yeah, well…don't tell her, but I might be more scared of her than the lab."

"Are you kidding?" Nancy grinned unabashedly. "I'm totally telling her you said that."

A/N: Hey everyone! Sorry that I don't have a more exciting chapter for you this week, but I wanted to dip into Nancy's storyline so we could see how she's feeling and hear a little bit more from Jonathan. Promise next week will be full of that good, good Steve content. (And maybe some Billy.)

However, if you, like me, are still reeling from the end of Season 4, come visit the blog on tumblr. I'm happy to answer questions and give teases about what's in Christine's future, and there may be some one shots coming later this week. Until then, rock on nerds, and I'm excited to hear from you soon!

-Brittney