Sixty and Six’s

(Trigger warning: Kevin's lack of care for triggers does not reflect the views and or behavior of the author.)

The van ride was awkward, I was shoved in the very back between Jericho and Cassandra Sandmark; Donna Troy's little sister of sorts. Well, at first there wasn't room but then the van extended like a klassen or stretch limo. It was a snug fit, Cassandra was pressed a bit into me wearing a red varsity style jacket with her emblem on the front and shredded style jeans. She just slipped on her headphones and disregarded me being like… zero inches from her.

Then the blonde Jericho was on my right. His slim build, soft face, gray turtleneck and black slacks made him look like a model for suits or something. When the car would shake my head would touch his matching grey scarf he seemed to always wear. I didn't talk the whole time because on my right was someone listening to her headphones and on my left was someone who kinda couldn't talk.

I kept glancing at Raven and the others. In return many of the others were glancing at me. One was the edgy, dark olive skinned boy with curly hair. Sporting a black hoodie and jeans the boy who I presumed as Osiris sized me up the entire drive.

"You got a lazy eye or a lack of respect, punk?"

"Excuse me?" He replied, his accent thick as if he was from India or Palestine.

I repeated, "Do. You. Got. A. Lazy. Eye? Or lack of respect boi?"

"Respect is earned newcomer; save for the dead. So are you dead, or wishing to be made so?"

I would have gotten up had not Cassandra blocked my path with her arm. Not even looking at me she warned, "Sit or face Cyborg's wrath."

Wow, she was listening?

Jericho typed into his device and it said, Stephen-Hawking-style, "Cyborg's car is a no fight zone."

The other person that was making eye contact was the aliens. Miss Martian and the Lantern Arisia Rrab. They looked just as much out of sorts as I was. Rrab was the one that looked twelve but was actually over two hundred years old. Miss Martian was a ginger, with green skin and red eyes.

The ride was quiet until Logan tried to break the ice with, "Soooo, when were you born?"

"1794."

Logan made a sad effort of a fake laugh, but added, "No seriously, bro."

I arched a brow, "Do I look like I'm joking?"

"What? You're a boomer bro."

"Pfft," I laughed, "I was slapping Nazi's around before it was cool."

"That's dope bro, I used to be on the Doom Patrol. Was there a certain team or squad that you were on?"

"Eh I'm mostly alone but over the centuries I've worked with a few people."

"Tell us some!" Miss Martian chimed. The lantern and well… everyone seemed interested now.

"Well… in World War Two I was with a group called the Creature Commandos."

"Sounds like Gar's kind of people." Cyborg teased.

"Who all was in the unit?" Raven asked.

"Me, a vampire, a zombie and a werewolf." I answered, "And an old dough boy from World War One, can't forget him."

"What were their names?" Arisia, the little lantern girl asked. However by this point, the bombardment of questions got to me and I cut dismissively, "Their names are classified."

"What was your role in the group?" Raven asked.

"Kamikaze, kinda. Shock trooper, I don't know. Got surrounded by Krauts one time, they told us to give up, and I made a bet if they blew off my head and it didn't grow back we'd surrender." I smiled while a few of them shuddered, "They surrendered."

Rather suddenly, the van was stopped and the guy closest to the back was shoved out first: me. It was crazy how smooth the ride was; even crazier that they are letting me walk around unrestrained. Knowing something was up I started patting myself down.

"Y'all got a tracker on me don't you!" My hands went to my butt and my eyes widened, "Ah hell nah! You better not have anal probed me!"

Everyone was lining along the side of the vehicle and Raven growled when she got out, "No one probed you. Your mental fingerprint is being monitored by more than three psychics right now. We'll know your every step so don't try anything."

"Well that sucks." I finally turned my attention to my surroundings and noted the modernized diner before me. The blues and reds of neon washed down on us and Cyborg declared,

"Welcome to Sixty and Six's Diner!"

"Been here before, Sixty's cool and all but this place is two outta five bro."

Garfield laughed at me, "You hadn't even been down to the basement yet."

While I mentally wrestled with that revelation they went inside. Following after them I witnessed Six, a stocky dirty blonde man, greeted them from the counter, "Ah, my special customers!"

"What's up Six!" Garfield said, "Still pumping that iron?"

"Gotta keep this military body somehow right Cass?"

Cassandra Sandmark only gave him a hostile glance from her phone even though I could clearly hear death metal bleeding from her headphones.

"The hobo is with us." Raven said, "And get the usual cooking."

Six looked at me and scowled, "Oh. You."

"How's your sister Six?"

"If I recall correctly, the court has a restraining order in place Mr. Kevin Grant."

The entire team glanced back at me in a moment of awkward silence.

"Hey, it was your sister's idea to shag in the girl's bathroom."

Raven coughed and groaned, "Why am I not surprised?"

"I also recall," Six continued, "I was given permission to shoot you on sight."

"You'll only get blood on the floor so save the lead."

"If he misbehaves," Osiris promised, "I will be the weapon of your wrath."

"Ohhhhh so nice of you to volunteer you Jihadist dick."

Osris whirled around, his voice shrill, "What the hell did you just say!?"

"I said are you deaf!"

Then there was a lump in my throat. Not any kind of lump. Like, a bloody ulcer from hell or something kind of lump in my throat. I hit my knees and Raven said, "You feel that? That is a forcefield in your windpipe. Aggravate someone else in the next five minutes and I swear on my father's name I will make your head fly off like a head off of a squeezed tube of toothpaste!"

"Why five minutes?" Garfield was dumb enough to ask.

"I just want my chicken and waffles and FIVE STINKING MINUTES."

She let my windpipe go and I stood up, brushing myself off. I then took my phone and dramatically set a five minute timer while looking right at her. Pinching her nose and shaking her head she just continued towards the back. Everyone was in a tense silence until Six said, "Well, your feast is waiting downstairs."