Yuta’s house pt.2

So I run.

I start to run and I keep running even when I want to give up. My lungs are burning, my breath is jagged and I can't even breathe properly, I fall over twice and my knees are bleed. Abnormally infact.

There's crimson blood gushing down my legs and spilling on the floor, the sting so bad that it's enough to make me buckle. The panting behind me gets more thirsty, more needy, the feet get faster and whoever they belong to starts to grunt with want.

Bloodthirsty.

I want to call Yuta and I want him to save me. I want him to fight it.. to become by hero and the cool person I've always seen him as… I want a reason to worship him and look up to him like a god. I don't ever want his reputation ruined, even if deep inside I know somethings wrong with him.

I don't want there to be.

There's no where to escape my thoughts now,

Everything is crashing down on me with nowhere to hide. I can't put them away for later. I can't ignore them until never.

I'm trapped.

I suddenly crash to the ground, falling so hard that all the wind is knocked out of me. I try to stand, but now I've crashed my chest so hard and there's blood pouring out of my mouth.

"Just succumb," The person behind me laughs heartlessly at my downfall, and I start to scream and writhe as an unbelievable pain washes over me. It starts in the pit of my stomach and spreads throughout my body, reaching every single part of me and not missing the tinest of all tiny gaps. My viens are popping out of my body and blood is gushing from my mouth, eyes, and knees.

I want to die. I've had enough.

I start to scream louder, "KILL ME, KILL ME NOW PLEASE,"

The person just laughs and laughs and I can't even raise my head to see who it is. Covering my ears is the only justification that the pain will ever calm down, and I lie there pitifully wailing for my death while heat and acid spreads mercilessly within me.

I want this feeling to go away now. I want it to end. I will do anything on the face of this earth to end this.

Then I bolt awake.

I'm drenched in sweat and my breathing is ragged. Scanning my surroundings, I see that I'm back at home…. In my bed infact, and it seems to be nighttime too. Checking my phone it says it's 6am and it's Saturday. Did I sleep at Yuta's? Did he bring me home? Did that actually happen, or was it just a dream? It seemed so real a few minutes ago….

As I start to calm down I feel embarrassed that I even thought that happened. Maybe I'd had a long day yesterday and I dreamt all that. Even the dancing with Yuta….

I'm so ignorant.

My phone starts to buzz and I jump in fright, only to see that it's Lucas calling me. Upon answering, he says to me;

"Hey. Where are you?"

"I-I'm at home, .. in bed… why??"i reply, my voice croaky and scary in the Still night.

"I just wanted to say sorry for forcing myself on you. I'm sorry for ever loving you and i promise me and my friends won't hurt you again."

Lucas' words, coming out in a rush, don't sound like his at all. They sound like a script that's been imprinted in his brain on a reel of memory. I don't reply for a while and he doesn't say anything either.

"I didn't really get what you said." I gain the confidence to confess. "Can you say it again, a little slower ?"

"I love you, Harris." Lucas blurts out. He sounds so burdened and in pain that I flinch and almost drop my phone. "It's driving me crazy… I can't live with this anymore. I'll kill myself if I can't be with you forever .."

I don't say anything, because I can't. I don't know what to say or what it would do in this situation.

"I'm sorry Lucas." I say after what feels like eternity. "Then you'll have to die."

I'm stunned by myself, and immediately want to take back my words. What just came over me?? Those are NOT my words for sure… I don't even sound as cold and composed as that…

But before I can do anything about my mistake, Lucas takes in a shaky breath and replies;

"Proud that your first sacrifice has to be me, huh?"

"What?" I spit at him, angry now. "Who's fault is it that I don't love someone like you??! Who's fault is it that you've bullied me since I joined this stupid sixth form college??"

"Your fault." Lucas says, in a quiet and composed voice. Then, with a slight sneer in his voice, he adds; "your fault that you love a monster."

"I don't." I'm denying in plain air, like lying to your mum you haven't stolen with the item behind your back. By this time I know very well that I feel for Yuta and I can't get myself not to. I swear I'd still love him if he committed a mass murder. Or if he killed my family. It feels too strong for me, like it's a situation out of my hands… and I'm letting it guide me because I have no identity. I'll let him give me an identity since my parents wouldn't. I'll be his, even if I have to bomb the world to do so.

"You think so?" It's like Lucas has been listening to my thoughts, and I flinch out of them in fear. "I see. Just don't wish you never made these decisions."

"I won't," I reply, lying down and preparing to end the call. "I'll have to see you go, Lucas. I will pray for your parents."

"He wont ever please you for long, even if you please him." Lucas replies, and the line dies.