some type of convo

On Saturday night, I scroll my Instagram account, and am shocked to see a message request from a random acc with a faceless selfie for its profile picture. The message says ;

"Hey let's moots."

And upon replying

"Hey?"

The person sees it immediately. They reply

"Sorry for embarrassing you earlier. "

(IN TEXT)

Me: um who are you again?

Them: oh I should've introduced myself. I'm Yuta, I go to your school

My throat immediately dries up and I rush to delete all posts that show my face quicker than fire.

Yuta: I'm sorry. I didn't think they'd find it funny.

Me:  it's okay.

It totally isn't but I have no idea what I'm supposed to say.

Yuta: So, what's your name then?

Me: how did you find my instagram btw?

The fact that I'm delusioning myself, trying to imagine Yuta scouring the web to find my instagram...is insane.

Yuta: Lucas gave it to me. Well what's your name

There's no avoiding that question again, so I quickly say

Me: Harris

Since Yuta never knew me by that. I don't know if I want him to recognise me anymore..I guess we'll just stay anonymous if that how he wants to do it.

Yuta: Sweet. Wanna hang out ? I have somewhere I go at break that I'm alone.

Me: I prefer to be alone myself, but thanks. I really appreciate it.

Yuta: Scared are you

Me: I'm not one for friends. Hope you understand

Yuta: Come on,. We can even sit and read, we ain't gotta talk.

I pause for a second, leaving his message on seen. Why is he begging me? And plus, how can such a huge intimidating guy like him even read or spend at least 1 minute reading?

I'm tempted to blurt out YES OFCOURSE. But it's like it's not really me who's tempted to, it's the voice at the back of my head who seems to quietly be thinking about Yuta all the time who wants to say it.

Yuta: ??… fine I won't pressure you. Just head to G block whenever you want to see me at break and I'll be there. Alone.

Me: okay. Ig.

Yuta reacts to my message with a heart present emoji, setting my heart racing immediately. What does he mean by that?? I mean, perhaps it was just by accident….

I head over to Lucas' dm and text him,

Me: Lucas did you give Yuta my instagram? You didn't even ask me??

Lucas takes a couple of minutes before replying

Lucas: yo what's up

Lucas: Somethings goin on😉

Me: what?? How??

Lucas doesn't answer for a while, setting me biting my nails and checking my messages every now and then. Finally, he replies:

Lucas: what dyou think abt me then?

Me: huh?

Lucas: Rate me me , 1-10

Me: I can't do that

Lucas: why?

Lucas: be mine then lmao. 

Me: oh thats not…

Lucas: fine. Whatever.

In a panic, I turn off my phone screen and lie panting on my bed. Since I started going to this stupid sixth form college, everything's been going too fast. Simple things seem unnoticed. I feel pressured and it's so much that my head starts to pound. My phone keeps ringing with notifications, and I soon get enough courage to check just a little bit…

Lucas: if you think not, that's fine…..

I just bet the school would be overjoyed to hear all the shit about you and Yuta

Lucas: still there Harris? What did he even say to you?

Lucas:  Yk some of these ai conversations could even get leaked to the headteacher and you'd get kicked fs fs 

Lucas: okay, block me out. I also "found" some convos of you insulting me to send to Jun...we're tight mates me an him yk?

Lucas: Yo Harris fr get online?

Breathing heavily and my hands shaking in disbelief, I text back slowly

Me: Ykw, Lucas, just have whatever you want from me. Idc anyways

Lucas doesn't respond. He seems like the reply i gave him was surprising for him too.. and eventually he leaves my chat on seen, not responding again. I don't say a word even out loud to the ceiling which I do a lot.

Imagine if I had a dad who cared about me?

Would I go and confess to him that I'm being bullied as usual?

I don't have someone, yes. But Yuta did save me from Jun yesterday…..

I'm battling between myself and my inner thoughts to text Yuta and show him the screen shots of my conversation with Lucas. Should I introduce myself better first? Should I remind him that me and him were inseparable for his last few weeks in my primary??