Jealous Girlfriend

     "Dear Diary,

I began,

   "I am here at my sister's place and a lot has happened. You know how I feel about coming here, because of mum I had to do it. Zain could not stop making me feel like he still has a place in my heart. I know what I feel for him is love but he is married for crying out loud. He's so confident and arrogant at the same time. I don't want to be rude. At first I was being rigid but at some point I said that being friends with him can help both of us while I am here. After all, we are no longer an item and I shouldn't hold any grudges against him. He made his choice and I understand that.

     I want him to also understand that he's not in my life anymore, he can't be married to my sister and still want to have something to do with me. If it ever gets to that point then I don't know how I am going to handle it. My heart says otherwise and my head says another thing. my body always reacts whenever he is so close and he knows that is my weakest point. He always use it against me. I am torn in between myself and being here is making it so hard that I feel like crying. Can you imagine he kissed me twice?

    If you have a suggestion of what I should do. Please let me know.

   Enough about Zain and I. When I went to the mall with him earlier today, I met this handsome dude and his name is Lucas. And guess what I got his contact and when we returned back to the house, I spoke with him. He seems like a nice person.

   Then Zain has a brother who at first was behaving like an ass then later on we talked and I realized that he's a nice person too. And I was shocked to know he's aware of my past with his brother. You can imagine yet he is keeping quiet , even advising me: Don't be too quick to judge someone. 

   Susan is not left out in the saga, pregnancy is actually dealing with her and I can't blame her anyway so whatever she gives me I take it and blame it on pregnancy. 

   I think that will be all for now."

I concluded and closed the app. I get much better.

   My phone rang and I hissed,

"Wrong timing"

I murmured and looked at the phone and when I saw the caller I became mad at myself for saying what I said. Tasha was calling and that was a very bad comment I made.

   "Hey girlfriend I don't know but I just feel the need to talk to you. Are you okay?"

I heard her say. She sounded worried.

   "I wasn't fine but I feel better now"

I replied and heard her sighing.

"Oh! That means my instinct was right after all?"

   "Yeah girl but don't worry I am cool and guess what I met this guy at the mall. His name is Lucas"

"Jinx!I don't like that, the thought is irritating my ears"

 She said disgustedly and I was surprised at what she's talking about.

  "What are you talking about girl? I just told you I met a guy and you are saying jinx?"

  I asked, confused.

  "That is it, you meeting a guy is the jinx. I don't like the fact that you just went to Reben castle and you already met a guy and you are talking about him passionately. it's not sitting well with my system"

She said and I laughed.

"Are you jealous or what?"

I asked, amused.

  "What if I am, what are you going to do about it?"

   "I don't understand where you are going with this talk, Tasha? You and know that I do boys, I don't do girls"

I reminded her.

  "Jenny, what is so hard there? You know having you close I was able to compress my feelings but now that you are so far away, I miss you like mad not just like a friend or girlfriend but in a romantic way. I can't help it, this is how I feel. If you are going to hate me after this talk with you, it's fine. I can understand but I want you to know that I love you, Jenny and I can't bear the thought of a guy with you again"

She said heartbroken and I felt my heart twitch. I was dumbfounded. I do know she has feelings for me but I thought she understood my ground in this girl's stuff. I can't do it.

   "Tasha, I don't know where you are going with all this but no matter what I am not going to hate you. I respect your honesty and I love you so much like a girlfriend not the other way around. I have always told you what my stand is and I thought you understand. Can't you just forget about the possibility of us ever dating. It's not going to happen. I advise you to meet a guy and try a relationship with him. You will see that guys are the best"

I advised her and she sighed.

    "It's fine Jenny. I wasn't expecting you to say yes even after knowing how I feel about you but I am glad I am able to tell you how I feel so if you ever change your mind of doing girls, I am here waiting for you always. Meanwhile, why stay safe, be a good girl and don't get f***** too much."

  She said cheerfully but I was not convinced she is okay because I know her so well. There is nothing I will do about it anyway.

    "I am so sorry Tasha about this and I will keep all that advice in mind, don't get f***** too"

She laughed so hard then hung up.

   I released the breath I was holding.

Tasha wouldn't be the end of me.