Ivy's Trauma

*Charm's POV*

"Bessy.."

I was awakened by Kuya's call telling me na gising na siya at pumunta agad ako dito.

"Sorry, I made you worry.."

"N-no, it's okay..."

Sobra man akong nag-alala, I'm glad she's awake.

"Kamusta ka na? Wala bang masakit sa'yo??"

"My throat still hurts but it's bearable."

Thank God.

"Nakita mo na ba sila Tita?"

"Nandito sila paggising ko." Sagot niya. "Pinauwi ko na muna. Dumiretso daw sila dito pagbalik nila."

"Kung hindi ako pinagsabihan ni Kuya kahapon, malamang hindi rin ako uuwi." Sabi ko. "We were too scared, Theia.."

"I know.."

"Wala ka bang maalala sa nangyari?" I asked. "Why would you end up in the pool, bessy?"

Umiling siya. "Nasaan nga pala si Gabby?"

I looked away. "Nasa resort niya."

"Hindi parin kayo okay?"

"No."

"I told you to talk to him, right?"

"I did."

"And?"

"I don't know.."

"Hindi ba pwedeng magbati nalang kayo?"

"He's done too much damage."

Hindi maayos ng basta basta..

"Ano ba talagang nangyari??"

I just found myself crying again in front of her.

Kakatahan ko lang kanina..

"Charm.."

I covered my face with my hands.

"Is it that serious??"

I nodded.

"Anong ginawa niya???"

"H-he kept something f-from me, bessy.."

"Oh, Charm.."

She patted my back which made me cry even more.

***

"Charm."

"What?"

"Hindi ka ba uuwi?"

"Nope." I answered. "Kakadating ko lang kaya."

"That was two hours ago."

I looked at the clock.

11.

"Do you want me to go?"

"Of course not." Sagot niya. "Kanina ka pa kasi palipat lipat ng channel. Baka bored ka na."

"Aalis ako saglit pagdating ni Kuya."

I checked my phone.

Sabi niya kanina papunta na siya pero wala pa akong natatanggap na text ulit.

"Charm."

"Hm?"

"Hindi pa kita nakikitang mag cr simula kanina."

"So?"

"Ayaw mo kong iwan no?"

"..."

I felt her bed moved pero hindi ako lumingon sa kanya. Bigla nalang niya ko niyakap.

Bakit ba ko nandito sa tabi niya?

May sofa naman sa gilid.

Nahuli niya tuloy ako agad.

"Was it too obvious?"

"Uh huh."

I didn't want her out of my sight.

Ganitong ganito yung nangyari sa resort, sa school, sa restaurant at lahat yun, kasalanan ko.

I should've been by her side pero tuwing kailangan niya ko, wala ako.

Ayaw ko na siyang iwan.

"Am I being too clingy?"

"Naiintindihan ko naman kung bakit, Charm." She said. "Just don't blame yourself."

"I'll try." Sagot ko. "Thank you for coming back.."

"It took me a while to return though." Sabi niya pagkabitaw ko. "It was hard to escape that dream."

I wiped my tears. "Dream?"

"Bumalik ako sa araw na yun. Our last monthsary."

The day of his accident..

"It was so perfect when he knelt down on one knee and asked me to marry him.."

"..."

"I w-wanted that so badly, Charm." Sabi niya habang umiiyak. "I've always d-dreamt of marrying him."

Hindi niya parin pala alam..

"I thought I was cured. Akala ko din makakasama ko na siya habang buhay but then we fell apart.."

"Bessy.."

Should I tell her?

"It was supposed to be that day, Theia."

Paglingon namin, he was standing by the door.

"Kuya.."

"Naalala mo pa ba nung pumunta siya sa bahay?"

She nodded.

"He came to ask for our parents' blessing that night." Sabi niya. "Nathan was really planning to propose to you.."

"..."

It's true.

Gab already bought our tickets that time.

Pauwi na kami two days before their monthsary when all of a sudden, all of the flights were delayed.

Wala kaming choice kundi maghintay and we ended up staying instead.

"T-that's the reason why you were all dressed up in the hospital." Bulong niya. "B-bakit hindi ko manlang napansin yun??"

"Bessy, sorry." Sabi ko. "Hindi namin nakayang sabihin sa'yo.."

"It's fine." She said. "Nakalimutan niya ko kasi iiwanan ko rin naman siya. His proposal wouldn't matter if I die.."

"..."

"Buti nalang pala hindi natuloy.."

"Theia.."

Her tears kept falling habang nakangiti siya.

"I n-need to accept that it all happened for a reason.." She cried. "Kasi k-kung hindi, sobrang sakit.."

Kuya hugged her.

Rinig na rinig yung hagulgol niya..

"My Nate, I'm s-sorry.."

She still loves him..

It was too painful to watch her cry this way.

******

*Gabriel's POV*

"Charm, pwede mo ba muna kaming iwan?"

I stared at lovey.

Hindi pa kami nag-uusap pagkatapos nung nangyari sa resort. She didn't even responded to my messages or answered my calls.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

Tumitig siya saglit sa'kin tsaka naglakad palabas ng kwarto.

"I'll wait outside." Sabi niya. "Shout if you need help."

"Thanks, Charm."

I approached her when the door closed.

"Courts---"

"Hep." She held up her hands.

"..."

"Kailangan mo muna magpaliwanag sa'kin bago ka yumakap."

"Ano yun?"

"Charm told me everything, Gabby."

Alam niya na pala.

"I'm s-sorry.."

"Bakit mo tinago sa'min ng matagal?"

"Hindi ko naman ginustong gawin yun."

"But you did it anyway." Sabi niya. "We're friends, right? Pero bakit??"

"It's a long story.."

"I have time to spare."

Tinitigan ko siya saglit.

Mukhang wala siyang balak palabasin ako hangga't hindi niya naririnig yung kwento.

"You have to promise me na makikinig ka muna bago ka magsalita."

"Listening."

I took a deep breath and sat on the chair beside her.

"Ivy didn't grew up with a complete family like the rest of us, Courts."

"Her father left them for another woman at namatay yung nanay nila sa sobrang lungkot."

"..."

"That's the time when I met her and we became friends." I said. "We used to move a lot dahil sa trabaho ni Mama so I had no choice but to leave."

"Hindi ko alam na may sakit pala siya.. nalaman ko lang nung nagkita ulit kami after all those years.."

"Sakit??"

"Ivy has abandonment trauma, Courts." Sagot ko. "Because of what happened before, she believed na lahat ng taong mahalaga sa kanya, iiwanan rin siya."

"And then she met him--"

"Nathan made her realize na hindi totoo yung iniisip niya." I said. "Ivy learned to trust people while loving him and when his sister got sick.."

"Pinili niyang umalis.."

"Yes." I nodded. "The fear of being left behind was too scary for her kaya siya yung nang iwan. The pain scarred her for life, Courts."

"Kasi ginawa niya rin kay Nathan yung nagawa sa kanila ng tatay niya.."

I nodded again. "Seeing you happy reminded her of what she was before, kaya gusto niyang ibalik ulit sa dati ang lahat."

"Bakit hindi mo sinabi?"

"Ivy asked me to.."

Hindi ko rin inakala na magkakagulo ng ganito.

"I understand you, Gabby." Sagot niya. "Pero paano yung taong nasa labas?"

Lovey..

"Susubukan kong gawan ng paraan."

"You should." She said. "You trusted each other with everything. Don't let this one mistake scar her too.."

I know..

"Wala ka ba talagang naalala sa nangyari?"

Her eyes avoided mine.

"Courts--"

"You didn't tell anyone, right?"

She knew.

"I didn't.."

Hindi ko alam kung paano..

"Good." Sabi niya. "Just bury the evidence. Pwede naman nating sabihin na tumalon lang ako."

"But that's too obvious."

"That's fine." Sagot niya. "They wouldn't question it as long as ako yung nagsabi."

"Are you sure..?"

"I'm going to have the operation, Gabby." Sabi niya. "Ayaw kong gumawa ng gulo."

"Kailan ka aalis?"

"Mamaya."

"Alam niya na ba?"

"He won't." She said. "Ivy deserves to be happy."

"What about you?"

"That's fine. My operation might not be successful, you know."

"What if it is?"

"Ivy deserves the happiness she's seeking." Sabi niya. "And I can't let Nate die out of sadness because of me."

"And your happiness?"

"Kaya ko naman maging masaya ng wala s-siya.."

I was about to believe what she was saying when her voice cracked.

"Ang hilig mo talaga magpanggap."

Naluluha na siya. "H-halata ba?"

I hugged her.

"I'm not scared of dying, Gabby." She whispered. "I just don't want to leave all of you.."

"You won't, Courts." Sabi ko. "Sa sobrang sama mo, magdadalawang isip ang langit na kunin ka."

Bumitaw ako agad bago niya pa ko mapalo. The room was suddenly filled with our laughter.

"Please tell Ivy that I'm not mad at her."

I stuck my tongue out and headed to the door.

"Ikaw magsabi."

"Damot!"

"See you, Courts. Hihintayin kita bumalik."

"I'll try my best to come back, Gabby."

Sana lang pagbalik mo, everything will be back to the way it was before..

******