~13~

Dream POV

"I don't want to," I mumbled, stuck in what appeared to be my own conscience. Everything had gotten worse since that day, and I wasn't doing to well, to say the least. It had become severe to the point where my body ached every day, and my mental state was spiraling out of control. I didn't feel the same anymore, it was controlling me. I felt so hopeless and lost when my two best friends had left me, but it was for my own good. Nothing was going right anymore, and I had nothing to look forward to. Something bad happened everyday, and for the past month, I learned to accept it. I had admit defeat, and accepted my fate. There was nothing that could fix this, at least that's what I thought.

The voice in my head from a month ago continued to harass and mess with me. It had emotionally and mentally beaten me down and made me feel useless. Even though this never happened before, I've had feelings like this since I was young. I struggled with anxiety and depression from social media, and I never really recovered from it. My friends tried their hardest to make me feel better but it never worked. I had a feeling it wouldn't work anyways.

The voice had tried to get me to go hunting for George and Sapnap. I refused to ever since. I didn't want George to be in the middle of this, so I tried to stay away from him at all costs. I felt this way, even if I felt useless. I told myself the least I could do is protect him. I didn't even care if I died, I just wanted to make sure he was safe.

Today was a weird day though. The voice continued to do what it did normally, but I refused. I got anxious but tried to not be for George, and it left me alone. I felt as if it was feeding off of my insecurities and my depression, and that's what made it so powerful. It wanted to make sure I couldn't fight it off, so it kept beating me down. I felt so alone when all of this happened, but knowing George was safe because of me was a nice feeling. I loved that feeling so much, I refused to do anything the voice told me to. And now realizing it was using my depression against me was key to getting rid of it and finally being able to see George again.

Of course, curing my depression wasn't as easy as anyone thinks it is. I may have known that it was feeding off of my anxiety and depression, but I didn't know how to get better. I was stuck in this situation I couldn't get out of by myself. I didn't know how to look for help either, so I had left it alone. Obviously that's not a good idea, but what else am I supposed to do?

I was living in a place where there were little to no people around. George had moved and I couldn't pay the rent anymore, so I had to resort to living on the streets. It wasn't fun having nowhere to go, but I somehow made it work. I have to give props to the voice though. While it may want me alive for its own benefits, it did help me find a "home." I still hate it and what it's doing to me, but I'm at least grateful for that. There's no point in hating everything it does anyways.

I went out for a walk and came across this guy. He didn't look familiar at all, but he stopped in front of me as if he knew me. I stared at him for a while until he walked away. I looked behind me and saw him walk, then turned around and continued walking. He seemed very suspicious, like he was going to do something to me. I should have followed my gut and walked faster, but I felt a cloth on my face before I could do anything. I felt my eyes start to close as the guy from before laughed in my ear.

"You'll do just fine... Clay."