Jui followed Saka, Tai, and Kimi toward the roller coaster. They waited in line as Saka continued to stare into Kimi's eyes, lovingly, as she spoke to him. Tai would chime in, making Saka laugh but Jui stayed quiet for the most part. Saka seemed to notice, but every time he tried to interact with Jui, Kimi or Tai redirected his gaze elsewhere.
The line continued to shrink as Jui noticed they were next in line for the rollercoaster. As they all sat down in their seats and were strapped in, Jui barely realized that the ride started. Amongst the twists and turns and everyone's screams, all Jui could think about was how he could come out to Saka that Maichi was right: he was gay.
The rollercoaster headed toward a loop as everyone raised their hands in anticipation: wind flying in their hair. Everyone raised their hands in anticipation, but Jui was clouded by his mind. Even as the ride ended, Saka had to call him out of his seat. He almost didn't realize he was still sitting down as the operator tried to hurry him off.
Kimi pointed at a bungeoppang stand as she led Saka over toward the line. Tai skipped after them as Jui brought up the rear. His mind was stuck on when his father had deserted him after he had top surgery and how his village turned on his family after he came out. Saka's friend, Maichi, also treated him like he was an insect. So, if Saka stayed in his company...does that mean that he believed Jui was insignificant too?
Jui subconsciously bought a bungeoppang and sat down beside Tai. He looked at how happy Saka and Kimi were and felt Tai nudge him after a joke, where he shared a weak smile. Saka's eyes connected with Jui, which made his anxiety disappear. Saka's eyes were almost saying "are you ok?" and Jui responded back with a smile to tell Saka to not worry about it. Saka smirked, returning back to the conversation Tai was having and that made Jui wonder if his life would have turned out like this if he had stayed quiet. If he never told his classmates that he was a man too, would he have had friends growing up?
Jui put down his treat, wanting to slap the crazy out of him. There was nothing wrong with who he was, just as Saka had said. Saka would accept him no matter who he was. He wasn't like the rest.
"Hey, Sa—" Jui started.
Saka turned to meet Jui's eyes, but his cellphone began to ring. "Sorry, one sec, Jun."
Saka sighed, which made Jui wonder who was on the other end. "Hello?"
"Huh? What do you mean you're—" Saka almost yelled, shocked.
Jui's eyebrow raised. Something wasn't right and Saka's changing demeanor, almost like he was sad, only raised his suspicion.
"Yes…yes, sir. I understand…."
Sir? His father, maybe? Jui knew he and his father did not get along. He had told Jui that his father was a drunk who sometimes got too physical with Saka when he was growing up. But all Jui could do was sit and watch Saka put his phone away, a dark cloud encompassing his features.
"I'm sorry guys. I've got to go."
"Why? The night is still young!" Tai begged.
Saka leaned over to Kimi, kissing her head as he started to get up. "Issues at home."
"I can come with you." Kimi said, holding back his arm.
Saka gently kissed her hand, moving out of her grip. "No, stay here and enjoy the rides, babe. I'll catch up with you guys at school."
With that, Saka left without turning back. Jui wanted to follow him and make sure he was alright, but he didn't want to cause his friends to react unfavorably. So, he stayed behind. Jui took out his cellphone a few times, thinking of texting Saka, as he followed Tai and Kimi at the carnival. He soon realized that Kimi and Tai were acting as if he didn't exist, as if he was only there because Saka wanted him to be, and Jui disappeared without being noticed. Instead, he returned home: still wondering if he should help Saka in his time of need. But how?
Buzz!
Jui hurriedly grabbed his phone out of his pocket and looked at the number. His eyes lit up with surprise when he saw it was Saka.
"Hello…Saka, are you ok?"
"No…I didn't know who else to call."
His voice sounded hoarse and mumbled...it was unlike his usual self. Jui's heart began to race at the thought that Saka was unhappy. He had never heard him so...so sad.
"Are you at home? I'll head over right now, ok."
"Ok."
Saka was short with him, and Jui felt even more unsettled by his response, but he hung up. Without a second thought, Jui sprinted out of his house and headed towards Saka's home. He let his feet carry him for five miles, not stopping his stride. All he could think was that if he didn't get there fast enough...that he didn't know what would happen. He didn't want Saka to be alone...not with the way he sounded.
Jui huffed, finally reaching Saka's home. It was dark...none of the lights were on and the door was propped open. Jui gathered himself, walking inside but not seeing Saka anywhere.
"Um…hello? Saka…are you here?"
There was no response, which only heightened Jui's anxiety. He walked past the kitchen and towards the back living room.
"Sak—"
Jui's eyes widened when he saw Saka with his head in his lap on the couch in front of their entertainment system. He looked disheveled, worn out...and deeply troubled. He didn't even move at the sound of Jui's voice.
"Hey…" Jui said, coming near him,
The closer he got to Saka, the more he realized that it looked like Saka had been crying for hours. It was then that Jui's breath caught because seeing someone so strong, someone he loved...crying that much...hurt imaginably. Jui honestly didn't know what to say other than...
"Are you ok?"
Jui put a comforting hand on Saka's back, rubbing him slightly. He was hoping Saka wouldn't run away, but when he put his head on Jui's shoulder: Jui felt relieved that he wasn't against being close with him. So, doing the best he could, Jui held him close just so Saka knew he was there for him, regardless of what he would say next.
"My mom is sick," Saka started, gasping between his sobs, "she was diagnosed with cancer and my dad is blaming me for it..."
"What?!"
Saka wiped the tears from his eyes, "he said that ever since we started playing Strike, that it brought negative attention to our family and that my mother got sick from all the stress and worry. So, he's kicking me out of the house. He won't let me even see her!"
Saka and Jui were shipped by the media after their third Strike championship win. Saka's father, who associated himself with the Liberty Korean Party, viewed being gay as a disease. One that brought misfortune and disarray to one's family. Because Saka refused to stop associated with Jui, his father disowned him: thinking his wife's health would improve in Saka's absence. Saka didn't know how to tell Jui that their relationship was what was banning him from his home. Even though he was agitated with the situation, he relied on Jui so much that breaking he couldn't bear breaking his heart. He just hoped...he wished there was a way to fix things.
"I'm so sorry, Saka," Jui said, trying his best to comfort his friend, "but Strike isn't worth losing your family over. So, let's stop competing. If I talk to your father, I'm sure he will under-"
"Understand?!" Saka jumped, agitated by Jui's response. He didn't expect Jui to give up so easily, not when he gave up everything for him. It bothered him so much, that he couldn't stop the words from spilling out of his mouth.
"He won't understand, Jun! My dad has never understood a thing about me! I've been abused by that man for years! I was so afraid of him that I'd blindly do and say whatever he wanted. But no matter what I did to please him, whether it was obtaining the highest marks in school or being the MVP in soccer, he still treated me like shit! So, no! We're not giving up Strike and I'm going to see my mother again! But the last thing I'm going to do is sit by and let that asshole degrade you!"
Jui sat motionless, unaware of how to react. He had never seen Saka so angry. He knew he was looking out for him, but the tone of his voice was shocking...so full of hate that it made Jui numb. Did...did Saka really not blame him for what happened?
"Ok...but I was just thinking..." he mustered.
Fuck. Saka thought, seeing Jui's reaction. He was too hard on him. He asked him here because he trusted him and the last thing he wanted to do was make him weary of being around him. He needed him...more than he knew. So, Saka pulled Jui close to him, hugging him tight. He felt Jui's heartbeat begin to slow as he spoke into his ear to calm him.
"Don't apologize, Jun. I'm sorry for raising my voice at you. I'm just frustrated...but that's no excuse to-"
"It's ok, Saka. I understand." Jui replied, as Saka felt his grip tighten over his jacket.
Saka knew truly knew he did, as he clung to Jui. He just wanted to stay like this with him until the world passed them by. He wanted to be in his arms...more than he cared to be in Kimi's. He had known for a while that Jui had made his heart melt but he was too afraid to pursue his desire. Now that his family had deserted him...now that the world had crumbled at his feet...would he have the courage to tell Jui how he felt.
The more he nestled himself into Jui's shoulder the less he wanted to think about it. He just wish there was a different way to end his story, but he suddenly felt Jui pull away from him. Saka felt that maybe it was a bit much to cling to Jui the way he did. He probably got the wrong impression of Jui to begin with...maybe he didn't have the same feelings that he bore deep down inside, but when he felt Jui's loving hand on his cheek, he couldn't help but blush in surprise.
"It's probably not much, but..." Jui smiled as he looked into Saka's eyes, "since you have no place to go, what do you say to living with me?"