Day 1

Someone once told me that keeping a journal could help me clear my mind sooo i'm trying it. I was home alone most of today. I played games and sat by the phone waiting for anyone to call me, to help fight off my boredom, of course no one did. After I gave up on waiting for someone to call me, I went back to my room and sat on my bed, still in my pajamas, playing a video game, but I wasn't really focused on the game I was playing, but my attention kept going to the window. Something was calling me, pulling me to go outside, but I just tried to ignore it like most days. I don't trust whatever this thing is that calls me outside, it doesn't feel safe. The pull to go outside continued to be a dull roar in my head the rest of the day, until my parents got home, then it was quiet, or the sounds of my parents were much louder than it. At least it no longer was trying to consume my thoughts, or so I thought, the sound that wanted me to go out, does scare me but also excites me, it was telling me it was an adventure. I shook the thoughts out of my head once more, trying to focus on the story my mother was trying to tell me of the trip my dad and her went on. I helped them carry their leftover supplies they took on their trip, and then we all settled into the living room once more, returning to our usual routine of barely interacting with each other. Soon we ate dinner and they wanted to watch a movie I found boring, so I returned to my room once more. 

When I did return to my room, alone again the pull to go outside returned to a thundering roar. It was so loud in my head that I couldn't hear my own thoughts and it was turning into a headache. I gave into the sound, the pull, just a bit and looked out my window in the direction I was being pulled to. There were tiny lights dancing in the sky almost as if fairies were dancing with the stars that hung high in the sky. I looked down from the sky just a bit to look into the woods that lay behind my house, and I could have sworn something with glowing eyes was staring back at me. I think the creature waved at me, with a human hand, so it's not a creature but a human, to come join them out there in the woods. I almost started to open my window to join them, but then I saw the rest of its body, the lower half of the person's body was the body of a deer. I silently jumped back from the window in fright. When I looked back everything was gone, the dancing lights, the creature with the glowing eyes. Why is that what I still focus on and not its body? The only thing left was the roaring pull in my head, begging me to go that way. I ignore it, laying back in my bed and pulling my pillow over my head, for the rest of the night I listen to music, and the pull to go out there seems to let me go.

It's around midnight and I keep staring out my window, hoping to see the dancing lights and that creature again. I stayed awake with my thoughts for a while, thinking what it was exactly, it was hard to make out. Was I imagining it? Was I so tired that I saw things that I normally dream of? I grab my sketchbook and quickly sketch out what I vaguely saw outside my window. It's late when I finish drawing, I should go to sleep now.