Chapter 20: What Are You Afraid Of?

Su Qingwan led the drowsy Xu Lin to the school clinic, where they encountered Dr. Wang, the school doctor, wearing large-framed glasses.

Internally, Xu Lin couldn't help but feel a bit nostalgic. The beautiful school clinic nurses from TV shows and anime were clearly deceptive; in reality, it's just a stern older man.

"Let's check your temperature first."

"Sure."

"Teacher Su, you can go back to class. I'll take care of him."

"There are only 3 or 4 minutes left for this class. I'll wait. I'll contact his family and ask him to go home early to rest. In this condition, attending class in a daze won't be beneficial."

"That works. Nowadays, young people eat better than before, but their health is getting worse. They still need to exercise more."

"Teachee Wang, our entire high school, we can count the number of times we had physical education classes on our fingers. How can we exercise?"

Xu Lin raised his arm from the side, adding his protest to the conversation, a common reaction from students.

"You young man, still chatting with a fever. But indeed, the school should consider this aspect. That's why we have morning exercises. But outside of class, you should pay attention to exercising."

"Got it. I do have a weak constitution. I should exercise more."

After waiting for a few minutes, Su Qingwan remained silent. Xu Lin occasionally spoke with Dr. Wang to prevent himself from falling asleep.

A few minutes later, he checked his temperature again. It was 39.8 degrees Celsius, almost reaching 40 degrees this time. Dr. Wang went to get the medicine, preparing to give him an injection.

Su Qingwan hesitated for a few seconds, then sat next to him. "What have you been doing these past few days? How did you manage to catch a cold?"

"When I went back to my hometown, I didn't bring an umbrella and got caught in the rain."

"Are your parents at home?"

"They've gone to work. Don't bother them. After the injection and my fever go down, I'll go back to class."

"Is your throat sore?" Dr. Wang inquired casually while preparing the medicine.

"Just a bit when the fever started yesterday. I don't feel it much now, but there's a bit of a cough."

"Alright, come over for the injection first, then rest here for a while. I'll get you some medicine."

Xu Lin obediently went over, lying on the bed with his head turned. It's a bit embarrassing for a boy, but it seems like there's no escaping someone looking at your backside during a shot.

The injection was quick, accompanied by a sudden pain. The needle was already in, and Dr. Wang also pressed a piece of disinfectant cotton against the injection site.

"Teacher Su, do you have a class? I need to step out for a bit. Can you watch over him? I'll be back in half an hour with some medicine."

"I already had my last class in the morning. It's fine now; you can go."

"Thanks. This student, I've wrapped the medicine for you on the table. One sachet at a time, twice a day, for a total of three days. You can take it before or after meals."

"Thank you, Dr. Wang. How much is it?"

"18 yuan. The school subsidises it, so give me 10 yuan. Just leave it on the table."

After saying this, Dr. Wang took off his coat and left the school clinic. Xu Lin hesitated for a moment, then pulled up his pants.

"Xu Lin, feeling a bit better?"

"Yeah, but I still don't have much strength."

"Mm."

Then silence settled between them. After half a minute, Su Qingwan asked, "Do you want some water?"

"No, thanks."

"..."

As the awkwardness lingered between them for a few more minutes, the bell for the next class rang. Xu Lin took a deep breath and returned to his seat next to her.

"Teacher Su, let me apologise to you."

"What do you have to apologise for?"

"I really didn't consider everything at that time. Mainly, seeing that you didn't like blind dates, I acted impulsively. This has a negative impact on you personally, so naturally, it's my fault."

"Xu Lin, sometimes people find themselves powerless. Even if I give my all, I feel helpless."

"Teacher Su, I don't agree with that perspective. I've always believed that the so-called shackles are the ones we impose on ourselves."

"You're still young..."

"I'm not young anymore. And there's no need for a teacher to consider herself an adult. We're only 5 or 6 years apart."

"But I'm an adult..."

"If you think you're an adult, you wouldn't feel powerless. That's an immature attitude."

Xu Lin's tone suddenly became sharp, catching Su Qingwan off guard. She didn't expect a student to speak to her in this manner, but she couldn't refute it.

"Well, maybe what you said is right. I am indeed very immature, but how can I resist my parents' will?"

"No matter what, they are still my parents! Cutting ties, leaving in anger... I'm not a child anymore."

Instantly, her eyes turned a bit red, wanting to scream out, but she held them back forcefully since they were at school.

"What do your parents pursue, then?"

"What do you mean?"

"They want you to go on a blind date and even be with this man. Is it for their sake only? If you can't confirm that, we still have something to talk about."

Xu Lin remained calm, leaning back in his chair and taking a sip of water. He glanced at her sideways, and that statement seemed to strike a chord with her.

She recalled many things from her childhood, took a deep breath with closed eyes, then turned her head to look at him.

"Do you want to hear a story?"

"Teacher Su, I love hearing stories the most."

"It might be a bit long-winded."

"I have the patience to listen."

Many years ago, two childhood friends from the same hometown worked hard to break out of rural life and attend college. Eventually, one became a teacher, and the other secured a government job.

However, life in the big city was harsh. After getting married, they struggled to make ends meet, especially after having children. Later on, due to a job transfer, the husband moved to a smaller city with a higher income and lower living costs, stabilising the family's life.

However, their happiness was short-lived when the wife fell seriously ill, forcing the family into another period of hardship. At this critical moment, a colleague of the husband, who happened to be their superior, extended a helping hand without expecting anything in return. This act of kindness turned the two families into good friends.

Years later, the daughter of the husband's family and the son of the benefactor's family attended the same school. During a casual dinner, the families made a spontaneous agreement that if the opportunity arose, the two children would marry each other. This agreement continued as the children grew up, with the girl becoming a teacher and the boy leaving school early to start a business.

Several years later, the fathers revisited the agreement when the son reached the age to settle down. The families decided to arrange a meeting, although the girl was not enthusiastic about it. Her parents, however, insisted she go along with it.

Reluctantly, she went to meet the young man. Although he was impressive, she did not feel a connection. After returning home, she informed her parents, but the meetings continued periodically. It became apparent that something was amiss.

During a conversation with the young man, she discovered that their parents had already discussed and agreed upon their engagement. Shocked and feeling betrayed, she confronted her parents, expecting them to dismiss the situation as a passing comment. Instead, they revealed that they couldn't refuse the proposal due to the significant help the young man's father had provided them in the past.

Feeling helpless and as if she were being sold off, the girl struggled to comprehend the situation, questioning the importance of gratitude over her own feelings.

She found the young man and expressed her feelings again, but he casually mentioned his father's thoughts, stating that he couldn't change his father's mind and that he thought she was fine.

In the following weeks, she entered into a silent conflict with her parents. She even attempted to talk to the young man's father, but all her efforts ended in failure.

Feeling trapped, she sometimes comforted herself by thinking that, although the young man wasn't handsome, his personality, manners, and family background were decent. Perhaps she could compromise, and who knows...

However, later she learned from friends that the young man was not short of girlfriends, had a troubled personal life, and most importantly, during high school, he dropped out after being involved with a girl and having a child, although they eventually separated.

She finally revealed this information to her parents, but they insisted that he had changed and matured. They encouraged her to talk to him more.

Feeling exhausted, she said, "I really don't want to... it's too much! Sometimes I want to explode, but they are my parents, and his father really saved our family."

"Is that all?"

"Yes."

"I don't even know what to say. Is this it? Su Qingwan, what are you afraid of? Just go for it!"