Chapter 5 – Result

This is the end of my life. Actually, it's about a week away. Although there isn't much difference.

My research on Homunculi has failed. More precisely, there has been no progress.

I managed to form a complete body, but I don't know how to transfer the soul. I thought about brain and heart transplants, but they also failed.

I can change parts of my body, but the curse of Angra Mainyu hasn't actually disappeared. As long as one part of my body still has the curse, it will quickly spread to the newly replaced body parts.

In other words, I have to dispose of my brain as well.

I don't know what effect it will have if I do that. But basically, won't I still die?

I once tried cutting off my right arm and replacing it with a Homunculus arm. The result? Well, it immediately turned black shortly after.

So… I'm thinking. Should I give up?

That's the best conclusion I can come to. Not entirely giving up, just stopping trying.

There's one more option I've considered, but it's more like a gamble. So, I'll keep it as a last option.

Eternal Soul.

That's the Skill I obtained after the rescue mission for Illya.

I spent months trying to understand its context. And indeed, I understand something.

[Your soul will never die, never be destroyed, and never disappear. There is only one soul like yours, unique among all souls. There is no duplicate of your soul's existence throughout the universe and any Timeline.]

Now, I have two conclusions here. The first one is that I become a ghost. If that's what happens, I'll prepare an empty Homunculus vessel. After my death, I'll become a ghost, then enter a new vessel. It's a good idea, considering I don't have a way to do that at the moment.

But there's a problem with this method. It's the fact that I have to die first. If I don't ultimately become a ghost, then I'm screwed. That's why I'm keeping this as a last option.

So, I try to find another way if possible.

And that's how the second conclusion is reached. It's even simpler than the first one.

Reincarnation.

Isn't that the meaning of a soul that never dies? If yes, then great. But if not? I don't know.

But this also raises a new question, will my memories stay with me during Reincarnation? If not? I'm screwed.

In short, I don't need to do anything now. Just waiting for death, which will be achieved shortly.

Preparation for the vessel is complete. If it fails, then I can only hope for luck.

I didn't mention my death to Sakura or Illya. But I still left a letter just in case I failed with the first method. If successful? There's no need to mention anything.

The System also gave a new Mission, something about extending my lifespan. But since that's what I've been doing all along and I apparently failed, I don't know what will happen. I don't know if there will be punishment for failing to complete the main mission.

But let's find out later.

I had previously decided not to study Magecraft further, but because I wanted to know if I would get some kind of solution with Magecraft, I finally studied it.

And the result? Failure. I couldn't do anything at all. It's disappointing, but I had anticipated it. So, it's not that bad.

Next, let's talk about Sakura and Illya… No, before that let's talk about something else.

Specifically, about our condition after living in Australia. Because right now we're in Canada.

One week.

Just one week we settled into our new home back then. Unfortunately, after a week, Magus from the Mage Association came to us. Well, even though I ended up killing them.

But the fact that they found us so quickly was disturbing. So, I decided to leave that place immediately. It's very unfortunate because we had planned a new life. But there's nothing we can do.

Of course, after that, we used disguises. Although it's only an outer disguise, but I think it's useful. Considering they didn't find us during the journey.

After finding a new home, the first thing I did was use the Universal Card to create a Bounded Field. Its function is to ensure that no Magus infiltrate.

I also instructed Sakura and Illya to study Magecraft. Especially Shapeshifting and Illusion. Not that they hadn't studied it before, but I asked them to focus first on learning these two Magic Spells.

The remaining constraints we experienced could be easily resolved. I registered them as Canadian citizens. Of course, using Memory Manipulation. I'm quite proficient in using this Skill.

With all that, we no longer encountered problems. They even started going to school.

Back to the present.

"Papa! Are you really leaving us here?" Illya spoke with teary eyes.

I told them that I needed to go somewhere for a week. So right now, I sent them to the orphanage.

If… we're talking about if. If this body transfer method fails, then they can continue to stay at the orphanage. Of course, they still have access to our house, but I still ask them to spend more time at the orphanage.

With a little conversation and donation plus Memory Manipulation, they can stay here forever without any problems.

"I'm just going for a week." I answered while patting her head.

On the other hand, Sakura, although she talked more, she still remained a shy girl. That part hasn't changed much.

Most of the time, she would just be dragged along by Illya wherever she went. She's a good girl, but too obedient.

"We'll come with you…" beside me, Sakura tugged at my shirt. Staring into my eyes seriously.

"No, this time I'm not play. It will be dangerous. So, wait for me here, understand? I'll be back later." I bowed and hugged them both.

Sorry, I lied. I probably won't come back. It would be good if everything went well, but if not? Well, I've prepared a farewell letter at home, so maybe everything will be fine.

They will be sad, for sure. But I can't do anything.

This might be the last time I see them, but it also applies the other way around. This might… be a permanent goodbye.

Sorry, I don't want to lie. But knowing the truth would be more painful.

No. Who am I kidding?

I'm just too afraid to say it.

I dare not say it to their faces that I'm going to die.

Plus, even until the end, I never mentioned that I'm not the original Kiritsugu.

I'm a coward.

I dare not say it.

Even in the letter I left, I didn't mention it.

Just because I'm scared.

I didn't mention my true identity. I didn't mention that I killed Irisviel. And now, I didn't mention that I will be gone forever.

I'm just a coward.

Too afraid to look at their faces and tell them the truth. Though, it only takes a few sentences.

But why… Why am I so scared.

Yes… another chance. Let's wait until the time I return. If this plan succeeds, let's tell the truth.

Yes, it's not too late then. It's never too late to reveal the truth.

"…"

In the end, I'm still just a coward.

Sorry.

I truly apologize.

* * *

I returned home. All my preparations are in the basement of this house. Of course, those two little girls don't know there's a room like this. So even if they come back, they won't find me here.

I mentioned it in the letter. So, if I fail, they'll know I'm here. At least they need to bury my body, right? Actually, I don't really care, it doesn't matter even if they just burn my body.

I sat on the sofa. Staring at the ceiling, contemplating various things. I wonder what happened in my past life. What my family did. What happened to me.

Honestly, I hope that I actually died, not disappeared. It would be troublesome if I actually disappeared, my family would surely do everything they could to find me. But if I die, then they might be sad, but it will soon pass.

Basically, I'm just worried. My life in the previous world was very ordinary. In the sense that there was nothing really special. Well, not that I'm a hopeless person. But still, there's nothing to boast about.

Even after coming to this world, taking over Kiritsugu's body, there's nothing really special about what I've done. Just another normal life. But I'm satisfied with my life, even the ordinary life in the previous world was enough for me.

I never hoped or planned to change my way of life. Neither in my previous life nor in this life.

I pondered many things, from the most distressing to the most trivial. Including…

How different I am from the original Kiritsugu. I wonder if there's a reason why I became Kiritsugu. Among all the characters, why Kiritsugu? I don't know. Maybe I'll never know.

There are many habits of Kiritsugu that I don't have. One example is smoking. Unlike Kiritsugu, who was basically a chain smoker, I never smoked at all.

That's one example of our differences.

But one thing is clear, I still don't know why it had to be Kiritsugu out of all the characters, and why it had to be me out of all the humans.

Time passed...

It's nighttime. I feel very sleepy. Well, I know what's going to happen. When I fall asleep, that's when everything ends. Although this is the sign of the end of this life, for some reason, it feels very peaceful.

The dimly lit room is filled with loneliness and tranquility. Although I failed to change the fate of death, for some reason, it doesn't matter. I just need to close my eyes, and everything will be over.

Yes, why should I hold back? My plan starts after my death. So, it doesn't matter, right? Just closing my eyes for a moment.

With that, the last breath of life also escapes from my mouth.

I close my eyes, waiting for the darkness to accompany me.

[Ding!]

[Mission to extend lifespan. Failed!]

[Continuation mission cannot be accepted.]

[Result. Host not qualified.]

[Uninstall process initiated.]

[…]

[…]

[…]

[Uninstall Complete.]

[Goodbye and thank you for trying.]

System messages that I hadn't heard in a long time, resurfaced. Bringing along bad news.

Right now, I'm floating in the darkness of void. There's nothing as far as the eye can see. Only darkness and emptiness.

'Is this death…?' I involuntarily ask with doubt.

This death doesn't feel scary or painful. There's only peace and tranquility here. It feels like, it doesn't matter how long I stay here, and I will enjoy it.

Suddenly, some memories appear in my mind.

"Ah…" a surprised sigh escapes my mouth.

Memories of my previous life. Specifically, the moment when I died. It was mentioned that I received the Mystic Eyes of Death Perception after experiencing death, but I didn't quite understand what it meant back then.

But now, everything becomes clear. I'm already dead, so this means I died twice. It feels a bit strange.

The first time I came to this void, there was something forcibly attracting me. Something what gave me the system. And its purpose? I don't know.

But one thing is clear, that figure expected something from me. And I ultimately failed.

In other words, I was discarded.

There's no more use in bringing me back. There's no reason for it either. There are plenty of people who can be puppets for it.

For sure, I am free along with death.

Nevertheless, in the end, I still don't understand the purpose of the Eternal Soul. Because right now there's no difference from my first death.

This void…

No matter how I look at it, there's no end or beginning here.

In my first life on Earth, I had a religion. Although I wasn't a faithful, I still studied some of its doctrines.

There, it was mentioned that after death, you will go to heaven or hell, depending on what you did during your life.

But right now, this void doesn't look like heaven or hell.

What is this? I don't know.

But it's calming here. It's very satisfying here. I don't need anything here. I feel like I can live here without getting bored.

Many thoughts cross my mind. As soon as they come, they disappear just as quickly.

Every time a question arises, the answer follows immediately.

Why am I here? Because I have to be here.

Why am I alive? Because I have to be alive.

Why did I die? Because I have to die.

Yes, life is very simple. Why did I complicate it all this time? All the answers are there, why did I keep searching here and there for answers? I'm truly foolish.

Let's live like this forever.

Yes, forever…

"Hola! Hold on there. Your mind will disappear if you continue with that line of thought. Even though your soul is eternal, it doesn't mean your mind cannot disappear."

A sudden voice shatters all the flowing thoughts.

A woman's voice is heard along with a beam of light appearing in front of me.

"What…"