Life Cycles On

Caleb and Amanda walked on pine needles, pine cones, and leaves. The soft dirt softened the crunching underfoot, but did little to hide their tracks. Of course, they heard screams from behind them from before, so they ran further into the Woods. After the initial worries, the two slowed down, as not to run into unnecessary trouble.

Caleb looked up to the evening sky. Cumulus clouds slowly crawled under the high-hanging Cirrus clouds that curled like a bundle of hair. He swore they looked like a bearded Vanessa with her hair in a bun. The picture creeped him out, as he looked around more actively at his surroundings.

Among the grazing Blue Oxen or lumbering Tusk Boars scrounging at the roots of trees, no threatening animals took interest in the duo. Red-Tailed Sparrows sang in their nests and nature stayed relatively active. Grasshoppers chirped and early Cicadas droned on throughout the woodlands.

Caleb, tired of the boring walk, asked, "Do you ever wonder which insect is the tastiest?"

Amanda snapped her head over to Caleb in wonderment.

"You really do say the strangest things, don't you?"

"It's a part of my charm," Caleb smiled. "Besides, my question isn't too strange. Plenty of Villages rely on eating Crickets, Cicadas, Grasshoppers, Ants, Grubs, Worms, Scorpions, or Spiders. They'd starve otherwise. Not all creatures are poisonous, and even if they are, there are ways to detoxify them. So, which insect is the tastiest?"

Amanda hummed to herself and brushed the hair off of her face. They passed by rotting trunks, felled by time or nature. Moss patterned the Woods, adding to the greenery.

Caleb scratched his stubble and grunted, "If I could chose an insect to eat, I'd go for Cicadas."

"Why Cicadas?" Amanda asked.

"The more Cicadas I eat, the less there are to ruin my night," Caleb grinned.

"Hmph!" Amanda pouted. "That's not a good reason!"

"If something really bothers me, I'll deal with it. Otherwise, I don't do anything. Didn't you know this?"

Amanda complained, "Well, that's one way to excuse your laziness…"

"Laziness or not, if I have to do something, I try to make it worthwhile. Anyway, what about you, Amanda?"

"Me?" she said, pointing a finger at her face. "What's laziness got to do with me? I'm the one who does all the work!"

Caleb laughed, "That's not what I meant! Which insect do you think is the tastiest?"

"Oh…" Amanda blushed in embarrassment. "I knew that! Um… You really want me to choose?"

"Seriously, what's so hard to answer? I know you really, really, REALLY like Mulberry and Blueberry Jam with a hint of Cinnamon on Flaxseed bread. How about insects?"

"Huuuuu… I guess, Mealworms? I don't like crunchy foods and all the legs move too much. It's like they're crawling inside me!"

Caleb laughed again, "You eat them raw? We can cook them over a fire, you know!"

Amanda opened her mouth, shocked that she didn't realize this.

"I-I-I knew that! Hmph! Don't say I'm stupid! I'm not! I told you that they're too crunchy and have too many legs!"

"Fine, fine, fine. It doesn't matter that much, since you could also crush them up."

Amanda's jaw dropped and she stuttered, "You—you, you, you! I swear, you're impossible sometimes!"

"Sure, sure. Now I know you slurp up live Mealworms because you didn't like Cicadas struggling in your mouth when you chewed them."

"Stop, stop, stop! Why are you saying this!"

Amanda jogged up ahead and hid her burning face. Caleb kept laughing and laughing and laughing.

"You're so easy to tease that I can't help it!"

He chuckled as he followed behind Amanda. However, an older woman crawled out of the woodwork of a Fir tree, scaring Amanda into Caleb's arms! He stood on guard and watched her every move!

Caleb demanded, "Who are you and what do you want?"

The older woman sighed as the wrinkles on her face sagged with her sad expression. She dressed in fanciful clothing, like a person from a Tao Sect or a Noble.

"Little Old Mei? Oh, don't worry. I'm no one now," the older woman sighed. "If it was ten days ago, I used to be someone."

Caleb looked at the older woman suspiciously, as did Amanda. Amanda crossed her arms and glared the older woman down.

"Why does it matter or not if you were someone?" Amanda asked. "You clearly are a person if you can still stand in front of me. Also, don't scare me like that!"

"I'm sorry if I did, Little Lady," Little Old Mei sighed. "In society, I became a freak, so I tried to hide myself from others."

"Oh? How so?" Caleb wondered.

Little Old Mei played with the end of her ponytail before saying, "You see, I once used to be the eldest daughter of a Kingdom's Duke. I was raised to paint, play the harp, manage the household and all the wifely duties expected of me. When I turned ten, my mother noticed something was wrong.

My feet grew too much! Throughout all the Kingdoms, women with small feet were treated like Goddesses! We had to have the whitest skin, the best manners, the most artistic and entertaining performances, as well as many other requirements. I put all my effort into perfecting all those skills, and I failed, just because my feet grew too much?!

So, my mother got desperate. She heard from her maid that peasants practiced binding feet. Immediately, she called on the best doctor to try this on me! We tried to change my growing feet into lotus feet!

Every week, the maids cleaned my feet and clipped my toenails. The doctor mixed many herds inside a bucket and soaked my feet in medicine. Then, he grabbed a hammer and cracked the bones in my feet! Oh, how it hurt, when he bound my feet in cloth and then tied it up like a Goose! Each step I took felt like walking on hot coals!

I endured my feet rotting and infecting. I repeated a cycle of suffering, going on for years and years! Finally, I became sixteen. I met my fiancé from the Buddy Sect. He was a fat teenager, with plump cheeks. Everything about him looked spoiled!

But, can you believe the look he gave me that night we first met? What happened when I greeted him?

It was his look of indifference as he said, 'Great-Grandpa, this One is suffering. Should I teach her the True Suffering?' I couldn't stand to hear another word of his! Was what I do so pointless? Did I look so pampered and lavish?

I never asked him because I ran away that night, taking a horse and nothing but my clothes and some food. I ran out of food the third night, when my horse ran away from me. Ironic, right?"

Little Old Mei gave them a self-deprecating laugh.

"Then, I ate wild fruit, nuts, grass, and bugs! Anything to survive! I have lived through so much suffering, but it will never change my deformed feet. They are small, but compressed, like a Boomerang. What man will ever love a woman who has feet like me?"

Little Old Mei rubbed away her tears. She mournfully stared at her elegant clothing.

"What woman am I to deserve anything I was given if I failed, despite all my efforts!? So, I hid away, forsaking the comforts my life as a noble gave me. Maybe then, I thought I would know 'True Suffering' and atone for my shortcomings…"

Amanda let go of Caleb and went over to the older woman. She hugged her, getting the elegant dress dirty in the process.

"Everyone needs comfort, whether it is a hobby, passion, job, friends, a loved one, a letter from long ago, or anything that makes the pain go away. You aren't a "bigger person" when you forsake comfort. If you hide away the pain, it'll continue to grow until it consumes you."

Amanda grabbed Little Old Mei's hand and rubbed the back of it.

"I hope you're happy in the future. Being angry or sad isn't healthy if you're stuck in the mindset. Disregarding whatever someone expects of you, it's your own self that you should focus on more. I know firsthand the spiral into darkness these times of overwhelming failure and work causes you to feel depression and anger.

It'd be nice if everyone had a good time together. If you spoke to your fiancé from the Buddy Sect, I am sure he would've understood! The same goes for your mother."

"Maybe I was wrong about all of this… I should have told my mother how I felt instead of listening to her. My happiness matters, but she doesn't decide how I can be happy! Why should I stay silent and bear all the responsibility? I never chose to do anything for myself until I ran away! I should tell my mother that I want to break the engagement!"

Caleb stood off to the side and patted Amanda on the back.

Yet, he frowned and asked, "That's nice and all, but doesn't that mean your fiancé and his Great-Grandpa—no, the entire Kingdom are still searching for you? What if they think you were kidnapped? Or worse, dead?"

"Oh that?" Little Old Mei fanned her face with her hand. "I never thought of that. I was too heartbroken and sad at how trapped I felt by responsibility and suffering. Oh dear, I should go back right away! Who knows what my worrisome mother did to trouble everyone!"

Little Old Mei bowed to Amanda and then Caleb.

"Thank you two, for everything. I won't run away from my family anymore. It's time that I stood up for myself and said what I wanted!"

Little Old Mei ran off, surprisingly lithe in such an elaborate outfit.

"Hey!" Caleb called out to her. "Follow the path we walked and you will find a dirt path! Going to the right leads to the Neeman Village, but I don't know what's on the left!"

"The left is the Zultra Village!" Amanda added.

"Yeah, what she said!"

Amanda watched the disappearing form of Little Old Mei. What would her life be like if she had so many responsibilities? What would her life be like, engaged to a man from a Tao Sect? How different it would be to struggle so much and have her mind stuck in a loop of silent suffering? She felt relieved that she spoke her mind and acted on her desires.

"Hey, Amanda," Caleb patted her cheek. "Did you hear me? She's going to be fine. We can't stay here all day. Eventually, we have to move on."

Amanda nodded, "Okay. I was just thinking…"

"Sure, you're free to think, but where are we going to camp out at if we stand here all day? I just want to lay down. My mind feels so exhausted."

"Yeah. I feel like that too…"

They moved on, holding hands along the way. Never did they notice that Little Old Mei's appearance slip their mind...

Behind Caleb and Amanda, Vanessa pulled Bill along by the hand. She hid from Little Old Mei and came out to stalk behind the two. She kept her distance, watching Amanda and silently cursing her existence. Bill looked slightly annoyed.

He asked, "Fairy? I know this is a bad time, but why are we stalking them? Shouldn't we walk up and say hi to them? What's the big deal?"

"He's found another woman!" Vanessa grinded her teeth. "I should be there instead of her!"

Bill clicked his tongue.

"Fairy, there's no reason to get jealous because your father got a new wife. I mean, he's not playing around with multiple hearts behind their backs, right?"

Vanessa distraughtly hissed, "Yes, but I should be the one he cares about! Only I should serve him, as it is my duty!"

Bill moved to her side and gave her a peck on the cheek.

"Wha—!?" Vanessa cried out, slightly blushing.

"I'm here for you. If he forgets you, don't worry! My old dad did the same when I was younger. Hell, that's the reason why I'm here!" Bill chuckled.

"I-it's not the same. You don't understand!"

"I think I understand more than enough. Having a father you loved and respected. A father that you did anything to please him. Then, one night, he finds a woman in the forest and brings her home. They get closer and closer, never needing you or your love. And when they marry, the woman tells your father to kick you out."

Bill frowned but hugged Vanessa. She looked uncomfortable.

"I spent years wandering the Kingdom. In my pain, I found good friends, but some of them left me too, either willingly or unwillingly. But, I will never regret the moment that I chose you over my friends, Fairy. I love you too much."

Vanessa blushed deeper and looked away. Her arms laid limp at her sides and she looked at the retreating back of the Inheritor. Was it worth it to willingly be another tool? To continue the cycle of servitude? To stay stone faced and not do anything for herself?

That woman had love, like she wanted long, long, long ago. Someone who cared about her and made her feel useful. Vanessa's envy for affection clouded her mind, but was it really possible to like this random man?

"We can keep following them, if you want. Since he's your father, I know why you're curious and worried at the same time."

Bill tightened his grip on Vanessa's hand.

"C'mon. Let's go."

He hobbled onwards as Vanessa kept thinking. She evaluated that he wasn't too bad, but he also wasn't too good. She needed more time to know what he meant to her.

Bill suddenly stopped and Vanessa bumped her nose on his back.

"Ugh! Why did you stop?"

"Uh…" Bill said. "This is going to sound bad, but what's your name? Mine's Bill if you were wondering."

Vanessa stared at him in silence. Bill nervously stood, waiting for her to start shouting or complaining.

But, Vanessa didn't. She pushed him out of the way and started pulling him along.

"Remember… my name is Vanessa."

She slightly smiled, but Bill didn't see since she yanked him along. Instead, Bill's mind filled with confusion at how awkward he sounded. He cursed his loose tongue. Saying "I love you" to a woman that didn't even know him more than a week! Stupid, stupid, stupid! It was corny deliveries like these that ruined his chances…

It definitely was not because Bill had a crippled leg, smelled like swamp gas, didn't have a job, and didn't own anything other than the clothes on his back! Bill thought that defined him for who he was!