I’ve Already Become a God, and You Told Me to Be a Bartender?

"Today's going to be a good show! The God of Slacking Off is finally getting punished!"

"Sorry, I just arrived in the God Realm. I didn't expect there to be a god dedicated to slacking off."

"Haha, the God of Slacking Off is just a nickname we gave him." A minor god was chatting with a newly acquainted companion. "He was originally the God of Wind, and this year marks his thousandth anniversary since ascending to godhood. But guess how many times he's saved a world?"

The companion thought for a while, then held up a finger, "At least ten times?"

After all, he's a thousand-year-old god, the God of Wind no less.

Even if he's lazy, if he acted once every hundred years, he should've saved at least ten worlds by now.

"Hahaha!" The minor god jumped up laughing, "Zero! Can you believe it?"

"Honestly, I can't." The newcomer was a logical person and immediately raised a new question. "But in that case, shouldn't his nickname be the God of Laziness rather than the God of Slacking Off?"

The minor god lowered his voice mysteriously, "He's incredibly diligent... just in other ways."

"Like what?"

"Partying everywhere he goes."

This response caught the newcomer off guard.

Seeing the other's shocked expression, the minor god finally explained with satisfaction, "That's right. Our dear God of Wind's favorite pastime is seeking out beauties, enjoying their company! He indulges in fine food and drink, and because of his excessive indulgence, everyone finally couldn't take it anymore today."

"Wait... is he going to be executed? Like struck by lightning and turned into a dried fish?" The newcomer swallowed hard, speaking in fear.

The minor god awkwardly replied, "That's a bit extreme. We're not in hell, you know."

"At most, he'll be sent to some world to be its savior. After working hard for a few decades, he can come back."

The newcomer finally understood.

He didn't say anything, but silently came to a conclusion in his heart.

Looks like slacking off is a much better lifestyle.

A thousand years of indulgence for just a few decades of work? Not a bad deal at all!

Say what you will, the God of Wind definitely knows how to do the math.

At that very moment, the highly "mathematical" God of Wind, Owen, was standing in the center of the Temple of All Gods with an exasperated look on his face, listening to the other major gods' criticisms and complaints.

"This is outrageous! Owen hasn't done a single serious thing!" The God of Forge fumed. "He secretly took my wife to a hot spring in the forest and ignored his tasks. He must be punished!"

"He neutered my precious moonlight cat!" The Goddess of Moon and Hunt clenched her fists, her cat lying at her feet, now as fat as a barrel after gaining weight post-surgery. "Today, Owen has two choices: either take on a mission or get neutered!"

"Owen hasn't done anything to me personally," the God of Water shrugged. "But he keeps using the water's surface as a mirror, which I find highly annoying."

"Owen had me writing his paperwork for a thousand years. I had to get a new golden wrist."

"Owen's too handsome. Seeing him every day depresses me."

"In short, Owen has been lazy for far too long. This isn't fair to the other hardworking gods. He must take on a mission and save the world we've assigned him to."

Amidst all the accusations, Owen, standing at the eye of the storm, could only wear a helpless expression.

What could he say?

He did, after all, do everything they accused him of.

But he never meant any harm; he just wanted to live a carefree life.

Who would've thought that after a thousand years, all these tensions would have piled up without him realizing?

Now that everything had exploded, maybe it was time for him to make a move.

"Alright, alright, no need to get so worked up. I'll take the mission, okay?" Owen sighed. "But let me clarify one thing: I really wasn't spying on the God of Water."

Swoosh! A stream of water materialized out of thin air, drenching Owen's head.

The God of Water's face flushed with anger.

Seeing the water starting to boil, Owen quickly made his escape, fearing that if he delayed even a second, the God of Water might transform into the God of Magma, and then he'd surely be in for some serious burns.

Back at his residence, Owen quickly packed his belongings. As the God of Wind, even if he had to take on a mission, there really wouldn't be much danger.

But Owen felt a heavy weight on his heart.

The area near the portal was empty.

No one had come to see him off.

Only the sound of celebration echoed from the Temple of All Gods.

Sigh, a thousand years, and not a single god had come to bid him farewell.

Even if not a close friend, they were at least acquaintances, right?

Do they all really dislike me that much?

Owen wiped his eyes, and just then, a gentle voice sounded behind him.

"You're still the same." The Goddess of Wine appeared, her fiery red hair swaying like flames in the wind. She smelled of delicious rum, her hair shimmering like fire. "Owen, it's been a thousand years. It's time for you to grow up."

"Mentor, I knew you would come." A smile bloomed in Owen's azure eyes.

His previously low spirits were lifted by the Goddess of Wine's arrival.

The Goddess of Wine's voice was warm and soothing.

She was like the finest honeyed wine, sweet and intoxicating, and was the closest friend Owen had in the God Realm.

The beautiful Goddess of Wine and Owen had known each other for a long time.

Even when they were still human, the Goddess of Wine had been Owen's mentor.

They had experienced much together, supporting each other through countless trials, until both ascended to godhood.

There were never any rumors about them because their bond transcended romantic or familial love, more like comrades in arms.

The Goddess of Wine's presence put Owen at ease.

He had been bottling up a lot of frustrations, unable to share them with anyone.

But now, facing his closest friend, Owen couldn't help but voice the doubt that had been gnawing at him.

"I don't understand. When we were mortals, we longed for godhood because it symbolized freedom."

"So why is it that once we become gods, we can't live freely and enjoy each day?"

This was Owen's deepest thought.

He wasn't intentionally lazy.

But now that they were gods, why still be bound by rules?

If this continued, what was the difference between being a god and being mortal?

"That's a great question," the Goddess of Wine replied with a smile. "But tell me, does the freedom in your heart mean living like you did before, just playing every day? Everyone defines freedom and happiness differently."

"Mentor, are you testing me again?" Owen shook his head. "The freedom in my heart is actually—"

Before he could finish, a massive explosion echoed across the God Realm.

The sound was like thunder.

The two of them were both startled, turning their gaze in the direction of the noise.

Owen saw only a towering blaze, burning as bright as the sun! It felt as if some great being had suddenly descended, casting divine judgment to destroy the God Realm, and perhaps even the entire world.

Just one glance made Owen's heart tremble with fear.

How could this be?

This was the God Realm, home to the most powerful beings in existence. Whether gods of war or peace, they all served as its protectors.

By all rights, an explosion like this should never happen here.

But the fire originated from the very place where the gods had just been meeting—The Temple of All Gods.

All the major gods were gathered there right now, celebrating the fact that they had just sent Owen away.

"Run!" The Goddess of Wine suddenly shouted, as if realizing something. "The blast's shockwave is coming. We still have some distance, but it will reach us soon."

The Goddess of Wine's fiery red hair surged like rolling waves.

Countless fruits and grains, symbols of her offerings, swirled around her.

She held a golden stalk of wheat and a cluster of amethyst-like grapes, her body radiating a red glow.

"Mentor, what are you doing?" Owen cried out in alarm.

This form could only mean the Goddess of Wine was using all her divine power, even her godhood itself.

It meant she was preparing for a desperate fight.

The next moment, a massive shockwave swept over them.

A gust of wind kicked up around Owen as he tried to resist its force.

But he was too slow.

Just as he was pushed into the portal by the golden wheat, Owen saw the explosive shockwave tear through the Goddess of Wine's offerings. Her fiery red hair, like extinguished flames, vanished completely.

"No!" Owen screamed, his voice filled with heartbreak.

He fell rapidly.

An overwhelming dizziness overcame him.

Owen passed out completely.

The darkness of the portal enveloped him like a bottomless ocean, swallowing him whole.