Crack Chapter: The Rise of the Pudding Queen

Sitting on a high throne made from hundreds of melted down teaspoons, Queen Luna Lovegood - founder of the Pudding Worship Church - looked down on her subjects with a soft smile on her face. The young girl became the leader of hundreds of people in the Castle, luring them with promises of sweets and freedom of choice.

"My subjects!" She began, her smile becoming a little sad. "Today I have gathered you here to announce the beginning of a holy crusade!"

Whispers began among the people who knelt before their Queen. This was the first crusade in their memory.

"You will become carriers of my faith! You will bring the joy of the taste of pudding to the masses, providing new believers to our church!"

The crowd of people exploded with shouts of approval that lasted about ten minutes. And when everyone was quiet, someone asked hesitantly.

"What should we do then?" One unfortunate person asked.

The queen's followers looked at each other in momentary confusion. But they quickly found themselves and began to offer solutions.

"Impale all non-believers!" A seventh-year student shouted with a huge wooden stake in his hands.

"Burn the heretics!" The second supported him, waving a torch that he grabbed from the wall.

"Eat all their other food so they'll have to eat pudding!" The little girl said that she had just entered her first year.

Words of agreement were heard from all sides, the crowd slowly reached a boiling point. Pitchforks, sticks and torches rose to the sky, and the screams became louder.

But they were all interrupted by one raised hand from the queen.

"Of course not, what kind of stupid ideas are these?" Luna blinked, looking at her subjects with wide eyes. "Although the idea of ​​eating all the other food except pudding has a place to live. Girl, after the meeting, come to my office, I want to listen to even more of your thoughts."

Looking around at her subjects, the queen nodded with a smile to the girl, who blushed and hid behind one of her friends.

"Isn't it obvious? You have to feed the blessed pudding to everyone you meet, whether they want it or not!" The queen hit her staff on the floor and no one even asked where she got it from. After thinking for a moment, she added, "Unless they're allergic to pudding, of course. Then you should bring them straight to me so I can help these lost souls!"

Nodding in response, the Hogwarts students began to dream in anticipation. With the advent of new successors, their church-kingdom will become larger. This meant that a new wave of baptisms in the lake of pudding would soon take place! No one knew what miracle happened for a whole lake of sweet dessert to appear in the Forbidden Forest, but no one really complained.

Feeling all the kindness of their Nun, the servants of the Holy Pudding Queen began to leave the well-lit dungeon where their meeting was taking place. Leaving only the most devoted people in the hall. The little girl was among them.

"Now let's begin our private meeting. Gentlemen, Ladies, what are your reports?"

After a short discussion, Jamie stood up first, holding a rather thick roll of parchment in her hands.

"First, I would like to tell you about our progress inside the castle. A quarter of all students are currently on our side, or in some way helping the cause. If the spread of our beliefs continues in the same spirit, then by the end of the year half of Hogwarts will be ours, including professors."

Luna nodded thoughtfully, reading the copy of the report that Hufflepuff was holding. Inside were graphs and forecasts of the spread of their influence, first throughout the Castle, and then throughout Britain.

"Some time ago, we had our first agents in the Ministry. Amelia Bones was particularly interested in our religion and the community that you gather around you, my queen."

Drumming her fingers on the wooden table where her advisors and spies sat, Luna nodded.

"Avoid contact for now, make her work to get information about us. Don't open our cards so quickly, she may be a follower of the Rotfang Conspiresy. Until we prove otherwise, keep communication with her to a minimum."

Jamie nodded and sat back down, writing her queen's words onto a new piece of parchment. And the first-year girl who stayed with the leaders of the revolution could not contain her shock. After all, they were already able to interest the head of the Auror!

The conversations dragged on for more than an hour. There was too much information to discuss everything in ten minutes. No matter what anyone says, leading a revolution is a troublesome business.

And when the meeting came to an end, all advice had been listened to, and orders had been given - it was time to end their meeting.

"Thank you all for your contributions today." Luna said raising her hands and clapping her hands twice. "Now let's move on to the final ceremony."

As soon as she fell silent, the table immediately changed, all the documents and cards disappeared, leaving behind only a white tablecloth without a single spot. A moment later, a plate of pudding and hot tea appeared in front of each of the participants in the revolution. The house elves did a great job.

And before they even had time to start eating, everyone noticed how someone else appeared in the room. Violet sparks dispersed the darkness in one of the corners, allowing us to see the tall dark figure of Khromov, who had returned from his walk through the Catacombs.

He blinked at the sight of so many of his friends at one table.

"Hello, Danil Khromov! Join us, we just sat down to drink tea." Luna invited him with a smile, to which he silently sat down at the offered chair.

"Since when did you start getting together at this time?" He asked in confusion and looked at Gabriel. "And don't you have an Astrology lesson now?"

The guy just shrugged, taking a sip from his cup of tea.

"It's just a gathering among good friends, don't worry so much." Luna continued. "Pudding?"

Danil looked with some disbelief at the sweetness offered to him, but decided not to ask unnecessary questions. Maybe he just thought something was wrong.

But something bothered him.

"Luna, why are you sitting on a throne of spoons?"

"Because there is no spoon."

"Right."