Who Else Forgot Dobby?

(Double Chapters, here goes hoping my readers won't try to murder me.)

"Let me get this straight." Magnus said, looking at the three stooges sitting in front of him.

"Last year, an elf stole your mail and blocked your way to the train station to dissuade you from going to school." He said, looking at the for confirmation.

"You ignored his warnings, and went to school anyway in the most stupid way possible. You decided that not warning the teachers, leading to him trying to murder you for your own good...multiple times." Hermione nodded at his comment, obviously disapproving of the boy's stunt with the Ford Anglia.

"You later learned that he belonged to Lucius Malfoy of all people, who might or might not be involved in last year's life threatening bullshit." The girl was about to retort, but he beat her to it.

"There was a basilisk released by the so-called Heir of Slytherin from the bloody Chamber of Secrets to cleanse the school of muggle born students." He deadpanned "That's bullshit, Granger."

"You….aren't wrong." She admitted, much to everyone's shock.

"Anyways." He ignored the major character development happening in front of him. "Even after all this...hell feast, you decide to do nothing for a whole summer since you decided that the potentially psychopathic Ravenclaw was the man of the situation."

"I wouldn't say it like this…" Harry scratched his cheek "But...yes?"

"Ok." The transmigrator sighed "And you expect me to help you free Dobby."

"Wait, we didn't mention his name." Hermione said, eyes widening.

"Yes, you did." He said calmly.

"Did not." She looked at her friends for support.

"Did too, how else do you expect to know a random freaking house elf's name? I know I'm awesome, but not that awesome." He explained to her, leaning as if talking to a child.

"Bloke's got a point." Ron said, having somehow produced a jelly sandwich along the way.

"Maybe you forgot?" Harry suggested.

"I never forget." she said with finality.

"Said every villain ever." Magnus said, "Maybe you're in the Hornsknark conspiracy, after all."

"The what?" She asked, her curiosity defeating her indignation.

"The Hornsknark conspiracy, something about a large organization of Hufflepuff gaslighting the entire wizarding world to keep it stagnant." Ron of all people explained "What? Dad reads the Quibbler."

"Honestly, I'm more surprised that you know what gaslighting means." Hermione said.

"Hey!" Ron growled, face reflecting his hair. He was about to say something else, but remembered he indeed had no idea what gaslighting meant.

"But what do we do about Dobby and Malfoy?" The Potter said, ignoring his friends as he did each time they got in another senseless argument.

"Oh, that's easy." Magnus laid back on his seat "You snitch."

"What?" was the boy's eloquent response.

"I said you should snitch." He explained "You three will go to Professor McGonagall or Dumbledore and explain this whole mess in detail."

None of them minus the obvious granger rabbit were thrilled about this. It was understandable, each and every time they tried to do the proper thing and warn the more 'competent' and 'mature' figures about imminent danger they ended up chided and ridiculed.

His own overly familiar mentor was guilty of this neglect.

Of course, Dumbledore's lax point giving habits soothed their bruised egos...but still.

The boys argued and growled, eventually realizing they'd already made their bed by telling Magnus freaking Black and now had to sleep on it. They fell back on pleading and puppy eyeing the amber eyed boy, much to his amusement.

Alas, it was all for naught.

At least, Hermione was satisfied with this conclusion.

'Maybe he isn't so bad after all…' she mused, sneaking a peak on the book he was leisurely reading.

Esoterics Of Human Transfiguration.

'I take it back.' she growled internally, realizing she knew little to nothing about something he saw as light reading.'He's the worst.'

E+S

The thestrals were as disturbing as ever, the carriage obviously ill suited for their tasks and the students quickly reminded Magnus of Hogwarts's worst aspects.

They were loud and unfamiliar and unstable and the least charming ways. Too fickle to recognise right from wrong, still determined to have the moral high ground. They would mess up ten times a day, notice it four times, regret it once but would rather kiss a full speed bludger than apology.

Regardless of the many differences between muggles and magicals, teenagers were still teenagers.

"I think they are beautiful." Luna said lightly, sensing his rapidly worsening mood.

"Only someone like you could think that." He said, shaking his head. "The rest of us keep our head too deep in our own asses to judge them properly."

"Language." She said, mimicking his tone.

He only chuckled, earning him a mock chiding look from the petite girl. He apologized, of course. Earning him a chocolate cube she produced from who knows where.

Magnus asked her whether or not she was trying to condition him into being a proper human being, she didn't confirm nor deny his allegations.

"I've created a monster." He groaned jokingly.

The Luna from the books would never feel this comfortable with her fellow human beings, she would most likely try to appear more normal and less 'Loony'.

The poor girl had literally no one to rely on, her father was mindless most of the time and an airhead at his best. Her fellow students, being Ravenclaws in the modern wizarding world, of course enjoyed hating the literal child who was the most Ravenclaw of all Ravenclaws.

Curious, inquisitive and unafraid to hold the most unpopular opinions.

Fortunately, he had enough humanity left in his transmigrated arse to help her out.

His Luna was less...Lovegoodian. Not needing to rationalize her bullying certainly helped her in this regard. She was still an eccentric, as fitting of someone so close to him, but not in the annoying ever present 'Pick me, I'm not like others.' fashion of her lonelier self.

She was comfortable in her eccentricities, and felt no need to throw them in everyone's face.

"You look like you had way too many nargles trying to get in your mouth."

Well, she didn't do it most of the time.

It took him a few seconds to run the nonsense she said in his inner Lunatranslatinator. What came out was pretty accurate and thankfully much, much, much less disturbing.

"Why the long face?" She meant...hopefully.

"Just had to deal with too much bullshit in too little time." He tried to brush it off, as he ought to do. She didn't allow it, as she was prone to do.

"First thing, mind your language young master Black." She said the last part way longer than necessary, making him groan as a wave of second hand embarrassment mixed with spiritual pain hit him.

In other, less fancy words, he cringed.

Hard.

"Luna, you know I like you." He said, earning himself a smile from the sweet girl. "But never, ever, say this again."

"Then don't be troublesome and tell me what's bothering you." She countered.

That was it, he had no choice but to magically duct tape her mouth until he could figure out how to erase a sentence from someone's mind without turning them into a vegetable.

"Don't think about sealing my mouth, you've already enchanted my necklace to protect me against most charms." He didn't like it when someone knew him so well they could almost read his mind, it was something he alone should have the right to do.

He did, however, put defensive enchantments on her necklace.

And he earrings.

And her favorite clothes.

And her shoes.

And most items he could get away with enchanting.

And then some others he really should have no business enchanting, but she didn't have to know that.

"Shit." He cursed.

"Indeed." Luna agreed with a smile "Now spill the beans."

He sighed, leaning back against the carriage while he extended his magic around. It was a crude way of detection, since anyone would be alerted by his own magic pushing against them, but it served its purpose and provided a solid defense against most scrying spells.

"All right" Magnus said, certain that no one would listen in on them. "You win. From now on, you'll have no help with your homework, I hope you're happy."

He allowed her enough time to whine and plead, mind barriers raised high and proud. He had enough practice not to be stuck with a bad case of resting bitch face like a certain Slytherin blonde, but he was nowhere near good enough to seamlessly raise his defenses.

"I don't like people." He finally said. "Never did, it was bad enough when I was a no name trying to network my way through the complete cluster fuck called magical britain. All it took was making a few girls blush, help out a few promising students and keep my reputation nice and clean."

"Which you did very well, except for the rabbit rumor incident." She said, repressing a shiver.

"We don't talk about the rabbit rumor incident." He chided her, amber eyes narrowing.

"Agreed." And she did, the kind of evil madness plaguing Lavender Brown was above her paycheck.

Putting that behind him, for the sake of their sanity is nothing else. He returned to the subject at hand, something he would much rather bottle in and brood about for a few days before ruining a few idiot's entire school year and reputations.

The Black way, Andromeda would say.

"Now, however, things have changed." And change they did.

He was no longer Magnus Arran, the most gifted student Hogwarts has seen in decades. He could no longer get away with his near hermetic lifestyle, only showing up to dazzle the audience and further cement his reputation.

He was now Magnus Sirius Black, heir apparent to the most ancient and noble house of Black and all its holdings.

He was the one taking advantage of the flawed system, he was the one who'd have all the power and none of the troubles. By birthright alone he would control an insane amount of money, real estate and businesses.

A seat on the Wizengamot quite literally has his name engraved on it.

Unfortunately, it also meant he was the one getting cajoled and networked with.

Every bit of peace he aspired to was compromised by waves upon waves of cock lickers of various origins coming in to sniff the newest prick in town.

There were even people he had previously clashed, dueled and obviously humiliated coming in to 'make peace' and 'restore their relationship'!

Explaining it to Luna quickly led to him ranting for the entire ride, mentioning copious amounts of punishments he could deal out and drafting a sixty seven step plan to ruin their future business, marriage and dinners for an unspecified amount of time.

Magnus would've made a powerpoint about it, sadly most of his homes were saturated with magic to the point where most modern technology is affected by the Murphy field all wizards seem to generate on some level.

In short, it would crash.

"What's a powerpoint? And an excel sheet?" Luna asked him innocently.

'My kink.' He thought, eyes shining as he imagined vast amounts of stats, graphs and raw data about the most inane of subjects.

"Just a muggle thing." He ended up saying.

Soon enough they left the carriages, headed toward the great hall where they would wait for the first years to come. Magnus clapped politely for most of them, namely those who didn't immediately start looking for the Heir Black they were supposed to suck up.

Dumbledore did his traditional half mad speech, which Magnus no longer bothered paying attention to. He called forth the most famous yet unknown elves of Hogwarts and the feast was served.

A quick look at the Gryffindor table was enough to remind him why exactly he disliked the young Ronald Weasley.

He dug in, sensing many more gazes resting upon him.

Too many arse lickers, a very conflicted potion master, a supportive transfiguration teacher and the scheming eyes of a well meaning old goat who saw too much and failed too many.

Did he mention the cock suckers?