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HP: Bruno in Dumblegame

[Word Count: 42.76K] Meet Bruno Green, the bloke who's got the inside scoop on all things Harry Potter. He's just transmigrated right back into the thick of it, returning to his original eleventh-year body in that wizarding world, without any actual memories of his previous life. What a return, huh? Now, brace yourselves for some serious butterfly effects as the story kicks off, starting in the blazing summer before Harry's first year at Hogwarts. There'll be a new prophecy around, one that's got Bruno on a collision course with Dumbledore, while Harry's gearing up for his showdown with Voldemort. So, expect the unexpected and enjoy the journey! General Approach & Style: I'm crafting a narrative that remains as true to canon as a Hippogriff, but with a distinct twist — it might start with a leisurely pace, embracing the slice of life element, and as we progress, the tempo accelerates, with a primary focus on adventures that'll warm your heart. However, there's an epic journey waiting in the shadows, concealed by a mysterious prophecy. Well, looks like I'll be accidentally cooking up some suspense and tossing in a sprinkle of action here and there (in chapter six). Before that we have heartwarming dramatic moments, a sprinkle of humor, exploration of familial bonds, and the joyful chaos of friendship. Plus, yes, there'll be hints for the gradual development of a romantic subplot, and a promise of smut to add some spice when the time is right. Alright, folks, let's set the record straight from the get-go. Don't go expectin' a load of smut right outta the gate. We're talkin' first-grade students here, and as our dear Bruno once wisely put it: 'I'll give it a shot... But come on... They're just a bunch of kids...' Hah. As for calling my fic a comedy, well, maybe some of the goblins might not catch the drift, but it's all in good fun for me. So, why not? Updates: Now, for a bit of more serious business. I might be a fresh bloke in this bloody scribbling, and these updates might be a bit unpredictable at least for starters. Let's ease into it. Target word count for each chapter: 5K+ enchanted words per week, but I'll start biweekly until I get used to it, to prevent burning me out. Note: Oi, and a little heads up – English isn't my native tongue, but hey, I'm pretending like a pro! So if you spot a few quirks and blunders here and there, just play along, won't you? After all, we're all in for the adventure! Hah. But seriously, let me know if your eagle eyes spot anything odd. Disclaimer: Nope, I'm not a Sirius Black. I'm not the one who can summon Butterbeer on demand either. These characters and the whole magical gig? Courtesy of J.K. Rowling. I'm just adding my two Knuts for fun and mischief.

SeriousBloke · 書籍·文学
レビュー数が足りません
8 Chs

The Letters from Everyone

"Now, tell me, why did you want to peer into that darn mirror, anyway?" Olivia inquired on a Sunday morning after hearing Bruno's full account.

This time, Bruno didn't have to endure weeks in St. Mungo's. He was ready to bid farewell to the despised place. After magical exhaustion, the body basically needed only healthy sound sleep. Those bruises and abrasions that he received were healed a long time ago. Having awakened, Bruno remained in his bed, sipping the hot chocolate with cookies that Yubai had brought him, all while recounting the previous day's adventure.

Bruno eagerly parted his lips to answer the question, but Olivia interjected, her voice carrying a hint of McGonagall's sternness. "And don't entertain me with jests about how, without this escapade, you wouldn't have saved that little swift."

Silkewt, perched in the basket, twittered with an air of disapproval. Bruno lowered his gaze.

"I wanted to figure out what my deepest desire was, you know, to get a handle on what Dumbledore might be tryin' to stop. And that shadow inside, well, that was a surprise to me too, you know?"

Olivia studied him intently and then sighed. She was looking so strict with that usual hair bum. 

"Don't misunderstand me. I'm not mad at you."

"Yeah, I know you worry—"

"Yes, I am," Olivia said much stricter than she wanted, because after that her tone became much softer. "I love you, sweetie, and I know it's not your fault. You couldn't have possibly known that the mirror was flawed and everything like that would happen after you gazed into it. I dare say, it was fortunate that the mirror's enchantment malfunctioned. We certainly didn't want Dumbledore to take notice of you."

"So, you reckon Dumbledore didn't see me thru that mirror?"

"I highly doubt it. Based on what you've told me, it seems more like a defensive enchantment that activates when someone tries to magically observe a wizard who doesn't wish to be seen. Fortunately, it had no effect on you."

"Well, it definitely took some effect on me," said Bruno, recalling the image of those eyes from abyss.

"I mean, it didn't curse you. Occasionally, such spells can curse the observer through the mirror. I suspect it would have worked that way if the mirror had been complete."

Bruno swallowed hard. "No more peering into mirrors at old fogeys."

"Prefer young ladies then?" Olivia said with a smirk.

Bruno's jaw dropped. 

"Mom! That's a brilliant idea! Yubai could sneak a mirror into girls' bathroom—"

Olivia sighed, attempting to stifle an eye-roll.

"—and this will be top-notch. What do you say, Yubai?"

Bruno turned to the elf. Yubai stood nearby, tray in hand, his fingers moving as though they were aflame, ensuring that the coffee cup remained warm, awaiting Olivia's grasp.

"Yes, yes. If young master desires such assistance, then—" Yubai saw something in Olivia face. "—then Yubai will not provide such assistance, no, no." 

"I don't want to receive letters from Minerva detailing your antics in girls' bathrooms," Olivia said with a hint of exasperation.

"Well, that's a valid point. My reputation might take a hit. I surely don't need any scandals makin' headlines in the Daily Prophet," Bruno responded with a touch of seriousness, earning a full eye-roll from Olivia this time. "I'm kiddin'! Come on, give me a hug."

Just then, after fulfilling that lovely hug family quest, an owl swooped in through the window with a newspaper in its beak. Silkewt chirped gleefully, but the imposing owl gave her an indignant look before departing, as if to say, "You're too small for this."

Olivia finally took her coffee and began to read. Yubai stood nearby, tray in hand, refraining from any complaint, not wishing to distract the mistress from her newspaper. Witnessing Olivia's magical abilities, Yubai always regarded her with sparkling admiration in his gaze.

Bruno has noticed photograph of him and Cornelius Fudge on the front page of the Daily Prophet. He nibbled on his pumpkin cookie and occasionally chuckled as Olivia read aloud his interview with Rita Skeeter. Even Silkewt began to twitter a bit while lying in his makeshift bed-like basket. Yubai quickly bought the right thing swift needed.

"'I had no doubts that the Aurors would soon come to my aid and free me. The worst part was waiting for my fate in that dreadful place…' Rita really can write well when she wants to," Olivia said with satisfaction. "Oh, thank you, Yubai."

"My pleasure, mistress. Anything to bring joy to the almighty witch," Yubai said with pride in his voice.

Olivia made a light playful laugh.

"Planning on letting him keep showering you with praise?" Bruno asked, a grin on his face.

"Why not? Gives you a little more confidence, you know. Plus, it's rather endearing and amusing."

"Well, I don't argue with that, almighty mom," said Bruno, causing Olivia to laugh.

He laid on the bed, holding Neville's letter in his hands. The boy expressed concern about how Bruno was faring and extended an invitation for him to visit. Bruno still needed to ponder over it. Visiting Neville on his birthday, July 30th, wasn't an option, as Harry might make a surprise appearance on Diagon Alley at any time before the canonical date of July 31st. Bruno did not want to miss the opportunity to, as it were, accidentally meet the Boy They Need.

There were also numerous heartfelt letters and messages of admiration for Bruno's composure in such a situation in Knockturn Alley. The majority of gratitude came from parents whose children had been abducted by those two dark wizards.

In canon, Thorfinn Rowle was one of the Death Eaters during the second war, but there was no mention about Thorwald. Anyway, To Bruno's astonishment, the elderly man, Thorwald, with blackened teeth who had tortured Silkewt turned out to be his brother, not his father as one might have assumed. The practice of dark magic and sinister rituals had disfigured his body, yet kept him alive. If not for this, the impact of Olivia's blasting curse would have surely claimed his life.

In any case, Rowles brothers had not much time left to enjoy the blue sky in this world. Olivia had informed Bruno yesterday evening that once the Aurors learned brothers had sacrificed children from Wizard and Muggle families. It was more than likely that Thorfinn and Thorwald were about to face a Dementor's Kiss. 

"'In the basement, I found an old broom. It's a shame I can't fly. Otherwise, I might have tried to outwit those dark wizards and escape on a broomstick…' Oh, Rita managed brilliantly justified the contest. Listen." Olivia continued to read aloud. "'It's good that the swift I freed helped me. It seems that the story of getting a pet has never been so dramatic. And when I wanted to buy myself a broom with the money I received from the Minister, I felt the urge to share this joy with someone. That's why I came up with this contest…'"

Bruno nearly choked on his chocolate. He could only marvel at how she skillfully twisted words with her Quick-Quotes Quill. Of course, it was all in his favor.

"She already jotted it down? Let me see, let me see the contest," Bruno burst out.

"Alright, calm down, it says 'page thirteen'... Oh, here it is."

Olivia turned so that Bruno could also read the article.

THE FINEST PET PHOTOGRAPHY CONTEST

Want to show off to your friends that you've got the brand-new Nimbus 2000? Then come on over to Shutterbutton's Photography Studio and capture your moment of triumph!

From July 22nd to July 29th, Shutterbutton's Photography Studio will be hosting a contest for the finest children's pet photography! Participation is open only to children who have not yet entered Hogwarts. We want our winner to learn how to fly before they become acquainted with ancient school supplies. 

In addition to submitting a photograph with your pet, you will also need to share an interesting story about your pet. The older it is the more chances you've got!

On the 30th, after the photo submissions close, our panel of judges will select the top ten entries, which will be published in the Daily Prophet! The individual with the most captivating photo and story will receive a brand-new Nimbus 2000 broom, generously provided by Bruno Green! 

Visit us today! At Shutterbutton's Photography Studio, we're dedicated to preserving all your precious moments!

"There might be some kids with captivating stories," Olivia said.

"Too bad for them, 'cause I'm the judge," Bruno answered with evil laugh.

Silkewt made a similar sound, making Olivia sigh. 

"You're quite generous. I wouldn't go as far as giving a broomstick like that to someone like Ron. Maybe consider including him simply in the top ten. We just need the photo with him and a rat in a 'Daily Prophet', don't we?"

"Oh, come on," Bruno said. "It's better to have a big ol' photo on the front page, you know, for that extra dose of confidence that it'll get noticed. Wasn't exactly a fan of that ginger fella in the books either, but he ain't no Death Eater, more like a dash of comic relief."

Bruno read the article once more, attempting to imagine himself as Ron. Would it be persuasive enough to encourage him to go and take a photo with his rat? Bruno hoped it would be. Reflecting on the events of the prior evening, which had gone beyond his interview with Rita Skeeter, Bruno recalled the presence of the owner of Shutterbutton's Photography Studio. Olivia had been insistent on inviting Mr. Dupont. The man turned out to be an amiable, slender wizard dressed in unassuming attire. Étienne Dupont had long, curly hair and held a camera that cost considerably more than his entire wardrobe combined.

At first, the studio owner didn't quite grasp his purpose there. However, one had to witness his astonished expression when Bruno proposed a broom giveaway for a lucky winner. Mr. Dupont practically leaped with excitement upon realizing how many potential customers he could gain. Had no one ever organized such a contest before? Wizards could certainly learn a thing or two about promotions from Muggles. True, in canon, the Weasleys won a substantial amount of gold in the annual Daily Prophet Grand Prize Galleon Draw, but that was a simple lottery among subscribers. Bruno couldn't rely on Ron appearing in the newspaper again with his rat, which is why he came up with this idea.

"And that comic relief ended up with a smart girl. What did she see in him?" Olivia remarked.

Given her affiliation with Ravenclaw house, her enthusiasm about Hermione's choice of marrying Ron which Bruno had mentioned a lot of times appeared to be somewhat subdued.

"Maybe it was just 'cause they'd been hangin' 'round each other too much. I think I told ya 'bout that. If Harry was like a brother, well, there's only one choice left," Bruno said, his shoulders shrugging uncertainly. "I ain't plannin' on lettin' Ron into my crew anyway, so I doubt Hermione will end up with him this time. If handin' a broom to him will give us a shot at savin' Sirius, I ain't seein' a problem here. This gift, well, you could say it's a kind of payback for bein' buddies with a fancy boy and bein' in a thing with a clever girl."

"Not clever enough if she fell for someone like him," Olivia retorted.

Bruno raised an eyebrow in surprise, noticing that something had struck a chord with his mother. Of course, he didn't dare ask about her relationship with his father once again, but it seemed that it definitely had an impact on her reaction. He decided to remain silent.

Gathering his belongings leisurely, Bruno soon departed from the dreaded St. Mungo's Hospital. Lying there, either staring out the window or reading newspapers, hadn't been exactly exciting. This time, as he walked holding basket with Silkewt, wizards and witches cast glances and whispered behind his back. Felt like he was getting popular. 

Even entering Leaky Cauldron, Bruno once again felt the weight of gazes upon him. 

"I think, after fail with Floo Powder, you still managed to gain some good news," Olivia said, going up the stairs. "I'm talking about absence of our friend."

Fortunately, Quirrell's spirit had cooled off (as amusing as that might sound). It seemed to have taken a hiatus, as the Aurors were mostly occupied with prowling for dark wizards. Not that they were finding any, but rather Fudge had ordered them to be seen on the streets to appease the magical community. Now, judging by the circumstances, Quirrell wouldn't dare leave his host alone and would most likely attempt to break into Gringotts with Voldemort.

"Oh, isn't this the perfect silver lining? I just need to get myself into more troubles," Bruno muttered.

Feeling like Harry Potter — the main character who constantly found himself in unpleasant situations — was not too exhilarating.

Next two days flew by noisily. Silkewt was constantly tweeting and flying from one end of the room to another. Some tricky potions quickly healed him up. Bruno felt sorry for the loss of Tris, even though he hadn't known the Runespoor for very long. It was sad, but having a new pet around, like Silkewt, who was always so active, helped ease the sense of loss.

It also felt as though a zoo had taken residence in Diagon Alley. The impact of Bruno's contest had an unexpectedly massive ripple effect. It seemed as though every magical creature from the shops had decided to stage a grand escape. 

"We'd better buy some stuff you needed yesterday," Olivia said on Wednesday morning.

"You don't get it. The first time around, I gotta buy all the gear with my letter," Bruno explained.

He standing at the open window glancing thru open window at sky with his Silkewt on shoulder. Olivia with a cup of coffee behind, and Yubai holding the cookie tray. All together like at perfect photo posing. 

"And you were the one talking about those silly wizarding traditions," Olivia said. 

"Plus, I wanna study the path Harry took. Might come in handy," Bruno said, trying to avoid his mother's mocking gaze.

"Owl's coming, young master, yes, yes," Yubai said.

Silkewt tweeted in confirmation as well.

In the sky, a soaring owl grew larger and larger before their eyes. Bruno froze: finally, he would receive a letter from Hogwarts! It was so close now!

A big grey owl with a hoot landed on the window sill, extending a paw with a letter.

Bruno became so excited that he grabbed the letter, forgetting to untie it from the owl's leg. The owl frantically flapped its wings, causing a commotion in the room.

"Oops, sorry!" Bruno exclaimed, rushing to the floor.

The owl started to attack him. The swift chirped, trying to interfere, but the odds were not in its favor. The owl immediately brushed it aside with its wing, and then it attempted to claw Bruno with its sharp talons. However, Olivia quickly waved her wand, freezing the bird in place. 

Yubai approached the owl, carefully untying the letters. Bruno immediately straightened up, clearing his throat, and addressed them with an affable smile.

"A minor slip-up," he remarked casually, as if nothing unusual had happened. "Now, about that letter..."

Bruno attempted to grab the letter, but Yubai darted aside.

"No, no. This one is for the mistress," Yubai replied, causing Bruno to instantly change his expression as if he'd caught a whiff of something foul.

"For me?" Olivia asked, tossing the owl out the window. It screeched loudly and flew away into the distance. "Seemed like it's never too late to go to school."

"Ha-ha," Bruno said. 

Olivia rewarded him with her usual loving smile.

"And this one is for you, young sir," Yubai said.

"You could've mentioned earlier that there were two envelopes," Bruno grumbled.

There was this yellowish envelope, noticing the emerald green ink address, as if the color was specially chosen for him:

Mr. B. Green

Room 18

Leaky Cauldron

1 Diagon Alley

London

Bruno didn't waste any time opening his letter. Swiftly breaking the red seal and tearing the paper, he retrieved the message.

"Alright, 'Hogwarts School' sounds good. No typos, it seems. 'Albus'… Bla-Bla-Bla... 'Dear Mr. Green,' that's me. So, everything seems fine. Uh... do I need to send an owl as confirmation? I meant, to send a swift as confirmation, of course," Bruno added, dodging the Silkewt who flew around making offended chirping.

Meanwhile, Olivia was engrossed in her own letter.

"No, there's no need for that. We can meet Minerva in Diagon Alley. She wrote me that she'll be introducing Muggle-borns to the magical world for another week," she explained.

"Why's she sending letters to you?" Bruno asked, a touch of suspicion in his voice.

"It's nothing out of the ordinary," Olivia clarified. "She's simply checking in, inquiring about everyone's well-being, and suggesting a meeting at Diagon Alley. I understand your concerns, but it's a customary practice for her. As Deputy Headmistress, she consistently strives to connect Muggle-born children with other wizards through guided tours of Diagon Alley, so she sends letters to everyone each year. I suspect she may not even realize she sent me this letter. There must be some Geminio charm involved. Anyway, if she had to personally lead every Muggle-born family, it would consume a significant portion of her vacation. So, everyone maintains politeness and pretends not to be aware of it."

"Oh, you can ask her when she gets to the letter 'G,'" Bruno suggested but then quickly rethought it. "Though that might spark some questions: why, for what? Just forget it. Alright, let's not dawdle any longer and go shopping."

"Not until you've gone through all the photos sent," Olivia replied, pointing to the stack on the table.

Bruno groaned. It was the third time Yubai had brought photos with stories from Shutterbutton's Photography Studio in the morning. Why did he even suggest adding stories to the contest? The fact that he had to select the top ten forced him to read each story, and with each passing day, there were more of them. It seemed even children from wizarding families were eager to try their luck to win a broom.

It had to be admitted that the variety of pets sparked interest. There was a whole array of creatures – not just the usual ones like toads, owls, or cats, but also magical beasts like Diricawl, Mooncalf, or Augurey. Occasionally, one could find amusingly absurd entries, which added an element of fun to the contest.

One of the boys had sent a photo with a Flobberworm, and Bruno had contemplated including it in the top ten for amusement if the story about almost eating it hadn't been so foolish. There were also downright distasteful stories. Hell, Vincent Crabbe even considered an elf as a pet. He had sent a photo with his house-elf and a bunch of pages with punishments he found amusing. Well, the death of this boy in canon could be considered quite justified from now. 

"Wow," Bruno exclaimed. "Mom, look who I found."

In the photograph, there was none other than Luna Lovegood. The light-haired young girl was captured sitting sidesaddle on the winged gray juvenile horse. It was also known as a Granian. Considering Luna's young age at that old photo, winged horse was young, but big enough for her as a perfect fit to ride comfortably. Her delicate fingers traced gracefully along the creature's silvery mane. Her touch appeared gentle and affectionate, as if she had a natural connection with the magical beast. The way she caressed the Granian's mane conveyed a profound bond and a sense of trust between them, highlighting Luna's affinity for winged horses and her serene demeanor in their presence. It seemed like she spent a lot of time with that Granian.

With a smile, Bruno retrieved the letter from the envelope. It was neatly handwritten in childlike script with cute drawings on the sides.

Dear Shutterbutton's Photography Studio, [ ◉¯] ✧˖°

I hope you're all doing well there. I read your article about the pet photo contest in the Daily Prophet, and it sounded really fun, so I thought I'd write you a letter. I don't really want to win a broomstick, but I have a picture of me on a Granian, and I thought it might be nice to share it.

You see, when I was a little younger, right after my mother passed away, my dad took me to a place far away. It was a place where magic and nature danced together like old friends, a kind of magical farm where they raised Granians. I think he wanted to show me that even in sad times, there's still so much beauty in the wizarding world. ੈ✩ ࿔ ˚

On that day, I met a young Granian. It was one of the most wonderful creatures I'd ever seen. Its silver wings shimmered like moonlight, and its eyes sparkled with curiosity, just like mine. I was quite surprised that the Granian let me be his friend. He wanted me to take a ride that very day, can you imagine? My dad helped me mount him, and then I soared through the open skies, feeling the wind in my hair and the world beneath me. It was a magical moment, a moment of happiness during a time when everything felt a bit confusing.

°* ੈ‧₊˚ଘ(੭ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ✩‧₊

I believe this picture captures that special day. The Granian and I, standing together before flying high above the world. Those memories are so special, and sharing a bond that went beyond words with everyone seems so nice to me. I hope that if you decide to publish it in the Daily Prophet, it might bring a bit of joy and wonder to others, just like my dad's thoughtful gesture did for me.

Thanks for reading my letter.

Wishing you wonder, *・。゚✧⁺

Luna Lovegood

"I'm not crying, I'm not crying," Bruno said, shaking his fingers like he was air-drying freshly painted nails. "This is just too darn adorable."

"Such a lovely girl," Olivia said. "If not for this rat, Luna would have definitely been the winner."

"Yeah, no need to even glance at the others. Darn it, I gotta come up with a prize for the second place at least. How much Galleons can I throw at it?"

"I don't think she needs a prize."

"Well, you're right," Bruno said thoughtfully. "I'll write her a letter..."

Bruno took a quill and parchment, quickly jotting down words, muttering to himself.

Dear Luna,

My name is Bruno, and let me tell you, your story with that Granian really got to me. Just so you know, I'm the big judge of this contest, and if not for a little disagreement with one person about who should win, you'd be the clear winner.

Anyway, your story moved me, and I feel like I owe you a bit for not letting you win. So, tell me what you like, and I'll figure out some prize you may be fond of. If you want, you can even ask me to be your friend, just like you did with your Granian. I know it ain't a fancy broomstick, and I can't give you a ride on my back, but it's better than a kick in the trousers, right? Haha.

Sincerely, your new fan,

Bruno

"Whoa... What do you think?" Bruno asked, his breath heavy as if he'd just finished a run.

"Could you think of something different?" Olivia simply asked.

"Hey! I gave it my all. Besides, with Luna, you gotta be yourself, and how can I be more 'me' than this? So, I gotta stick to the real deal and not tell any lies."

Olivia chuckled. 

"And what about 'disagreement with one person'? Wasn't it a lie?"

"But disagreement was with you. What? We did have a bit of a disagreement about who should be the winner, so it's not really a lie," Bruno said innocently. "Can Silkewt carry the letter now, yeah?"

Silkewt chirped joyfully and began looping around the ceiling. While owls were undoubtedly more popular for delivering letters due to their greater carrying capacity, having another bird at disposal was quite normal thing in wizarding world. Bruno remembered how Draco had his falcon in the canon. If Malfoy's bird was beautiful but slow, Silkewt was incredibly fast. According to Olivia, Silkewt should deliver mail much faster than owls. On the other hand, swift couldn't carry anything heavier than a piece of paper.

"Don't worry about her. Silkewt's had so many healing potions poured into her that now she seems like she'll burst from excess energy. It's high time she stretched her wings," Olivia reassured him.

As confirmation, Silkewt began circling even faster. Her image eventually blurred from the speed. They had to wait for her to calm down so they could attach the letter to a leg. Without wasting any more time, after sending the mail, Bruno, Olivia, and the proudly trailing Yubai set off for their shopping trip.

Lunchtime arrived, and Diagon Alley was in complete chaos. The difference between today and yesterday was staggering. The biggest crowd seemed to be around Shutterbutton's Photo Studio and the Magical Menagerie. Anyway, it was customary for most young witches and wizards to acquire pets before starting school. So, the price of such a "lottery ticket" with a chance to acquire a top-notch broomstick didn't appear exorbitant. To put it in perspective for Muggles, it was akin to buying a phone with the possibility of winning a car.

Bruno was excited about the upcoming shopping and just wanted to do everything as close to canon as possible.

"All right, now we gotta make sure we do everything just right. First stop, Gringotts," Bruno said.

"Why? I've already withdrawn gold from the vault," Olivia said, immediately causing Bruno to sigh in disappointment.

Bruno veered off towards the ice cream parlor's window, taking a few deep breaths.

"Calm down, keep your cool..." Bruno murmured to himself.

"What's wrong? Are you feeling bad?" Olivia asked, her concern evident.

"I just wanted to do it, you know, like in the canon. First Gringotts, then Madam Malkin's, Flourish and Blotts, followed by buying a cauldron, ingredient scales, a telescope, and other stuff, then the Apothecary, a quick peek into Eeylops Owl Emporium, maybe they have snacks for Silkewt, and finally, the wand from Ollivanders."

"Oh," Olivia drawled with a hint of amusement. "Sounds like you've got quite a fanboy plan there."

"And it's all goin' south right from the get-go," Bruno lamented.

"It would have crumbled at the end anyway, because we won't be going to Ollivanders."

"Why not?" 

"You think that's the only wand shop? But let's talk about that later. We're standing here like we're in line for ice cream." 

Indeed, they were near Florean Fortescue's, and some wizards mistook them for queuing.

"Well, I wouldn't say no to a scoop."

"Then head to Madam Malkin's, and Yubai will ensure it's delivered there for you. I imagine there must be quite a queue. I see a few familiar Aurors over at Galloglass shop. I'll go say hello while you're selecting your robes."

Bruno didn't have any objections. His stomach was making its demands, urging him to make quick decisions, so he entered Madam Malkin's shop alone, feeling a bit disappointed but intrigued about the other wand shop Olivia mentioned.

Madam Malkin was a plump, friendly witch dressed entirely in mauve.

"You'll have to wait, dear," she said when Bruno started to speak. " We have a few other young witches being fitted right now. Just take a seat over there for a while."

Madam Malkin pointed to a bench with no few but full packed with dozen girls. What is today here, some kind of sale off? Bruno looked like a white crow among them. Three more girls stood on a footstool while a second witch adjusted their long black robes. Observing these young princesses, it became clear that the fitting process was bound to take a while. And why were they all look so mighty? Slytherin or just all young witches look like that, huh?

"No problem," Bruno said. "Would you mind if my elf fetched me some ice cream while I wait?" 

It had to be said, when Bruno mentioned his elf, all the girls immediately turned their attention to him. 

"Of course, dear," Madam Malkin replied with a professionally neutral smile. "Just ensure there's no mess in here."

"Don't worry. I'm not a baby needing to feed carefully," Bruno assured her.

Laughter echoed in response, but it was an odd kind of laughter. Bruno glanced around, and while most of the girls in the shop were looking in his direction, their gazes seemed to wander elsewhere. That's when Bruno noticed where they were looking. To his surprise, he spotted another house-elf at the back of the shop, holding a cup of tea for someone. A nearby girl with black hair proudly raised her head, clearly indicating that the elf was in her service. She shot Bruno a withering look.

"Miss Daphne, your tea," elf said.

"Quindy," she said sharply, "You're not needed here anymore. Go home."

To onlookers, it appeared as if Daphne was being too dismissive and cold towards her elf.

"Miss Daphne doesn't want Quindy to help? Why? Quindy must help. Master said to help his dear daughter. Quindy must obey. So… sorry, miss," the elf said. "Quindy cannot go. Little missy needs my help," Quindy said, her big, round eyes filled with genuine puzzlement and a touch of hurt.

"Little missy," someone in the group whispered, and the others chuckled.

Daphne's cheeks took on a certain shade... Was it white? She clenched her lips and then muttered through her teeth, "If you have orders from my father to help me, then help me to be here without you," Daphne said, and then added in a stern tone, "Go home. Immediately."

"Yes, miss," the house-elf responded.

The house-elf, resembling a dejected little nanny, nodded and disappeared with a crack. Bruno couldn't help but wonder what was that spectacle about. He settled down next to the girl with the neat caret haircut, who was now smiling at him with all her radiance, clearly content to have some boy-company. 

"Hello," said the girl, "Hogwarts too?"

"Yes," Bruno replied. "I'm a new professor."

"What?" she asked, somewhat dumbfounded.

"I'm just messing with ya," Bruno said with a laugh, and the girl began to laugh too, albeit belatedly. "By the way, those girls behind you, were they laughing at the dark-haired one, or did I misunderstand something? Just the way I walked in here, it seemed like that. Pretty uncool," Bruno inquired with an unruffled tone, as if discussing the weather.

He spoke loudly enough for everyone to hear, and it appeared to make everyone uncomfortable. Bruno felt Daphne's piercing gaze on him. Why, you may ask? Well, he wanted to redirect the attention to himself. That's why he asked the girl next to him about it since she wasn't laughing either. It seemed like she was trying to be friendly.

"You know, I didn't really notice, but if they did that, it would indeed be unkind," she replied.

The conversation was about to continue when a crack interrupted. At that very moment, Yubai appeared with a distinctive crack, holding a plate with ice cream topped with fruits.

"If young master wants something else, just tell Yubai, yes, yes," he said.

"That's fine. Do you happen to have a second spoon for this nice girl over here?" Bruno asked, pointing at the girl with the caret haircut. "You want some, don't ya?"

"Oh, no, thank you."

She smiled, pretending to be shy, although her cheeks didn't turn pink.

"As you wish."

Bruno shrugged and dug into his ice cream, completely forgetting about everyone around who couldn't stop staring at him. The line gradually moved. When Daphne left the shop, Bruno tried to give her a casual "What's up?" nod, but she walked past him with an air of pride. The girl next to him spoke up again.

"You know, My family has an elf too, but he's currently on an errand for my older brother. It's quite hard to make him do anything when you're the youngest in the family, and I'm the third in line. I have another brother who's going into his third year. My parents sent me here because there are queues everywhere, and they're currently picking out a broom for him. Hopefully, it won't take too long."

Bruno swallowed some juicy peach before commenting.

"Is it truly that tough to pick a broom? I mean, you just check how many galleons you got and grab the priciest one."

"Oh, I see your point," she said. "I think they've allocated two hundred galleons for him. Do you know what kind of broomstick you can get for that?"

"No idea," Bruno replied, not quite sure if the girl was bragging about their wealth or just being friendly. "I haven't delved into the topic of broomsticks yet. Not a flier."

"I'm not particularly fond of flying either," she immediately shared.

"I didn't say I don't like flying," Bruno clarified. "I just haven't had the chance to fly yet, so I can't really say if I like it or not. That's why I haven't really delved into broomsticks."

The girl didn't seem bothered, but Bruno noticed that her ears were slightly reddening. Another two girls in the shop chuckled, clearly having heard the conversation. The third one didn't make a sound though.

Bruno gave Yubai an empty plate.

"Thanks, Yubai. Hey, go and check on Mom. Tell her I'll be hangin' 'round here longer than I thought. Oh, and grab her some ice cream, will ya?"

"Young master, this be a brilliant idea. She needs to munch on somethin', yes, yes," Yubai said with a leap, his belly wobbling.

Bruno let out a chuckle as he watched the elf Apparate away. Nonetheless, the girl beside him spoke up again, seemingly intent on establishing her authority among the other girls, and she had something intriguing to share.

"I've been thinking about what you said about flying," she began. "My brother isn't much into Quidditch either, just like me, but he flies because he's naturally good at it. He mentioned they're holding tryouts this year, and he wants to try out for the team. So, perhaps I'll give flying a shot as well, and who knows, maybe I'll make it onto the team someday. After all, flying is beneficial for magical power growth."

"Is it?" Bruno asked with genuine interest, looking at the girl straight for the first time.

Girl smiled and seemed pleased to have caught his attention.

"Of course. During flight, you constantly use magic, so it's an excellent form of magic training. I suppose all Quidditch players must have a substantial reservoir of magic. And if you have a talent for flying, it's the easiest way to enhance your power," she explained, not forgetting to smile, especially since the other girls were looking slightly bewildered.

"So, when you're on a broomstick, you use your own magic? Well, that does make sense. Brooms can't fly forever. This leads to the idea that the more you use magic, the stronger you get over time. It's like building muscles," Bruno mumbled, deep in thought.

"You've hit the mark," she said, pleased. "I see that you're headed for Ravenclaw. You reason like an intelligent person too."

"Too, huh? What do you mean by that? I mean, that bit about Ravenclaw. I have no doubt 'bout your smarts," Bruno said.

The girl giggled foolishly before answering. Bruno started to annoy that.

"Everyone in my family is from Ravenclaw. There hasn't been a single wizard from another house in our family lineage, so I know what I'm talking about," she said it with a hint of challenge. "By the way, my name's Tracy. And yours?"

"I am —"

Bruno was distracted as the entrance door swung open.

"We'll just come here a minute, Miss Granger," a woman's voice stated.

"I read about magical fabrics in a book once. Of course, it was just a regular fantasy book, but I can't help wondering, are robes here made from magical materials? It seems like quite an obvious thing in a place like this."

Bruno nearly craned his neck when he quickly turned his head at the sound of that voice of a girl. He couldn't have imagined that his heart would beat faster upon seeing her. Although it might just be the anticipation of meeting a beloved character from the books. While Bruno admired Harry as the main character, if he had to choose someone from the Golden Trio, Hermione would top his list.

She had bushy chestnut hair that framed her face in a wild yet endearing way. Despite her large, but neatly kept front teeth, Bruno couldn't help but think that she looked quite adorable. Drawing from his experience as a man in another life, he could confidently say that she would grow up to be quite stunning. Of course, beauty was subjective, and maybe he was simply biased, experiencing that flutter of attraction, while others might find her perfectly ordinary. Who could say for sure?

The stern woman standing next to Hermione, her hair in a tight bun, was none other than Professor McGonagall.

"Indeed, Miss Granger, you're quite perceptive," Professor McGonagall simply said, not intending to go deeper into explanations about magical fabrics.

Her resemblance to Olivia was only in the strict look and hairstyle, but clearly, she couldn't match Olivia's beauty and playfulness. It seemed Professor McGonagall hadn't noticed Bruno, perhaps Madam Malkin had prevented her from doing so by quickly approaching her to say hello. 

"Minerva, you're a bit late with your first family this year," Madam Malkin said.

She nodded toward Hermione and her parents who stood behind. They entered cautiously, their eyes darting around as if they were afraid something would leap out from the fabrics.

"Miss Granger, had an accidental burst of magic, so I had to delay," Professor McGonagall explained.

Hermione's cheeks turned slightly pink, and she looked down sheepishly.

"Don't be embarrassed, young lady. It's simply wonderful news, which means you'll be a great witch," Madam Malkin said cheerfully. "However, Minerva, I'm afraid you'll have to wait a bit longer. A lot of girls always come to me first."

Hermione quickly glanced at Bruno, who waved at her at that very moment like a fool.

"Yes, I've noticed that. And no any parents here, quite disappointing," Professor McGonagall remarked with a sigh.

"You know, usually they don't want much to stay here. If you'd like, I can show you to my office while you wait your turn," Madam Malkin offered.

"No need, Isolde. In any case, we need to visit Gringotts first. After that, I think we'll stop by the bookstore," Professor McGonagall said, causing Hermione's eyes to light up. "We'll meet up a bit later."

With these words, professor McGonagall, Hermione and her parents headed for the exit. Bruno watched as Hermione practically bounced with impatience to visit bookstore, paying no attention to anything else. Only after she left did Bruno realize that he was sitting there with his mouth slightly open.

He felt a certain pressure in his pants. Without fully realizing what he was doing, he quickly reached down to adjust his "little big friend" – to put it in the right position, so to speak. Bruno had completely forgotten about the girl sitting next to him who had been watching his actions the entire time. Thank goodness it was only her. He didn't need everyone to think of him as some kind of pervert.

"This...my wand fell out of its holster," Bruno said with a stone face, choosing the first excuse that came to mind. He offered an apologetic smile and, without waiting for a response, hurried to the exit. "I gotta run."

He needed to visit Flourish and Blotts urgently.

***

In the next episode…

"It's an off day when I don't get some pervert telling me how seductively I smart." 

Well, Bruno's wand will certainly have significant hero flair, won't it? Ha-ha. After all, he's the main character, no doubt about it. 

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