Chapter 34 Hesitation

Mingyu felt like he was getting sucked in Wonwoo's eyes that were looking at him with a kind of obsessive look.

It didn't feel like a destructive obsession that would destroy both of them if things were to go negatively but more like an obsession that has been accumulating for years and now was on verge of breakdown due to being filled to brim.

Mingyu's temperature grew more and more hot as he licked his dry lips. His hands directing Wonwoo to get up, making him turn and face him and then pulling him to sit on his lap again with Wonwoo wounding his legs around Mingyu's abdomen. Now Mingyu's hands were resting on Wonwoo's hips, unmoving and not doing anything and his eyes were heatedly looking at Wonwoo as if seeking his permission, as if asking if what he was doing was okay?

Wonwoo took some time to admire Mingyu's expression and then smiled in consent. He felt like he was gaining a new kind of understanding about Mingyu. A unique tingling sensation started traveling from his heart to his whole body when he thought of how Mingyu was waiting for his permission before doing anything to him even after knowing that Wonwoo wouldn't have stopped him anyways.

Mingyu's eyes were reflecting Wonwoo's smile and he couldn't help but beckon those stretched, pink soft looking lips to engulf them with his own hot and wet mouth. He caught Wonwoo's lower full and juicy lip between his own and started nibbling and sucking it as if it was a candy. Wonwoo was responding him the same way while letting out a satisfied groan when Mingyu's tongue invaded his mouth and started plundering everything inside him.

His heart, his soul, his breath, he was losing his everything to Mingyu at the moment.

After getting Wonwoo's consent, Mingyu's hands were no longer passive and were now groping and massaging his round and fleshy two mounds unbridled.

After getting out of breath both of them parted, panting heavily while greedily inhaling long swigs of oxygen but it didn't take long for Mingyu to start attacking the sensitive places on Wonwoo's neck.

As Wonwoo could feel his bottom heating up due to Mingyu's big warm hands continuously fondling him, he too was trying to get a feel of Mingyu's muscular figure. He could also feel something under him rising and pricking him a bit. Something that was still restrained due to the clothes, something that wasn't obvious before as his attention was somewhere else but now suddenly he felt super aware of the thing under him. Just the feel of it made him moan as he started moving his hips trying to create friction but then he felt the grip on his hips get stronger, stopping him from moving them.

This made the Wonwoo, who was losing himself in pleasure to suddenly wake up from it. His focus returned on Mingyu's face again only to see Mingyu looking at him seriously.

Such an expression of Mingyu was making him worried. Did he do something wrong? Why did Mingyu stop? He felt nervous thinking about these questions, after all this was his first time trying to pleasure someone else other than himself. It was obvious that he was inexperienced.

He held his breath as he waited for Mingyu to say something.

"Hyung, are we really doing it?" Mingyu asked after thinking for a while, his voice filled with some uncertainty and nervousness but also seriousness as he gulped.

Wonwoo's pupil shook when he heard Mingyu ask this. Negative thoughts couldn't help but make way in his mind.

Does Mingyu not want to do it with him? Wonwoo thought. Is it that he was finding it weird the more closer we are getting towards the actual sexual intercourse? Is he feeling uncomfortable with the though of how it's done between two men?

As a regular member of an LGBT bar, he had heard many times the men and women there complaining about how most of the first timers 'chickens out' suddenly as they gets turned off or becomes uninterested out of blue. Sometimes it's actually worse when a straight person feels like exploring his or her sexuality because it could be that they are just attracted to beautiful, good looking people.

They might be attracted to a person's physique and outward appearance and misunderstands their sexuality because when the time comes to have sex they suddenly realize that they are not in the whole sense attracted towards the other person.

For a person who is already naked and ready in front of his partner only to meet with awkward and sometimes unintentional but clearly disgusted eyes of the other's is so hurtful and humiliating that it's indescribable. There are many experiences like that, that Wonwoo had heard from others.

After thinking about it, Wonwoo quickly got off Mingyu's lap with a solemn expression on his face at first but then he smiled a small smile as he said, " It's okay if you are not ready. If you feel awkward we can do it any other time, whenever you feel like you are ready"

Wonwoo tried to sound soothing and understanding but instead Mingyu felt him to be incredibly sad.

Mingyu was so surprised by Wonwoo's action that he couldn't help but think to himself, 'What in the world is hyung talking about? Did my words triggered him or something?'

He tried to probe Wonwoo to see what kind of misunderstanding was playing in his mind before saying anything else.

"Hyung, the thing is... " Mingyu drawaled purposely.

"Mingyu-ah, I understand. You don't need to say anything else. I get it that this might be hard for you. As this is how many straight men feels in their first time with another man, after all it is different while actually doing it from what they imagine. I really get it, seeing a man's-" Wonwoo said thinking that Mingyu was feeling embarrassed and was trying to cover up his awkwardness but he was cut in mid sentence by Mingyu.

"Hyung. What kind of nonsense are you talking about?" Mingyu said while in disbelief after getting to know what Wonwoo was thinking.

Wonwoo's eyes widened at his words.

"Your words just now clearly indicates that you don't think I'm being serious about you or this relationship" Mingyu's hot gaze was fixed on the now flustered Wonwoo.

"N-no, th-that's not what I-"

"Hyung, I wasn't planning to tell you this at first-"

Mingyu got up and started walking towards Wonwoo slowly with a kind of momentum that made Wonwoo gulp.

"But it seems like you need to know how much I have suffered these few months because of you."

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