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I try so much not to let it into my mind but is is sneaky. At the back of my mind it lingers, always there always reminding me of what everyone is claiming. I try to focus on inconsequential things, the small things but it always waits for a chance when I am offguard and slips into my mind and before I know it it is there. I am trying hard to get my head around it. It is bizarre, unreal and I do not understand how it can be true. As far as I am concerned there is no way Maqhawe can be dead. How is that even possible? When she talked to me just this other day? How can that human being have ceased to exist in just a short period of time.