Chapter 40

The next few days are hellish. I don't return to the King mansion. This nightmare feels too long.

Mint and Dad seem to have become lifeless zombies but I am no different. We still haven't come to terms. The funeral is prepared in a blur and it's only the three of us who are present. 

I know we should invite Mum's friends but we aren't in a good state ourselves right now. Our eyes are bloodshot and we have dark circles from the sleepless nights. 

Dad is trying his best to stay strong for us but I know he is broken inside. We hang her photo up in the house as a memory. My eyes haven't been dry in days. 

We haven't eaten properly either. I do my best to cook something but none of us have any appetite.

Panda King has rang me many times but I have ignored his calls and switched my phone off. Hans has been coming over every day to check up on us and take care of us but I don't want to burden him.

I've been an unfilial daughter all these years, not taking care of my parents. I was too busy building myself up to glance back and look after them. My regret is deep. From now on, I will take care of Dad and Mint as Mum requested.

***

A month has passed and slowly, the three of us are starting to find closure. It's not easy but we are finding our way back to being stable.

One day, a visitor rings the doorbell and I head out to see who it is. I've lost weight after losing my appetite for a long time. 

Opening the door, my eyes widen as Panda King stands in front of me. Why is he here? What is he doing?

Without a word, he lunges towards me and wraps his arms tightly around me. His embrace is comforting as I lean into him. It's been a long time since I felt his warmth.

"Tin, where have you been?" He says quietly, pulling away.

I bite my bottom lip. How do I explain it?

"I–I'm sorry Pan. I took a little break." I say, not being able to bring up the real reason. 

He stares at me as if I just said something ridiculous, "Really? Didn't I tell you last time to let me know before you take a break? Come back with me right now. We need to talk."

"Let me tell–"

I can't finish my sentence as he grabs my hand and pulls me forcefully into his car. He hasn't changed at all. How can I tell Mint and Dad? They'll be worried if I am not home.

Rummaging through my pocket, I realise I haven't brought my mobile phone. Damn it!

"Ow!" I wince as I bang my head against the window. 

"Sorry, I didn't mean to. Are you okay?" Pan asks in concern.

"Do I look okay to you?! What's the big hurry?" I ask in annoyance.

***

The nights have become unbearable since my mother's passing. I get nightmares of that day if I so much as close my eyes. If only I had made her place her oxygen mask back on her mouth instead of making her talk.

My regrets have become things which haunt me daily. I lied to her about working with Panda King. I ruined her plan of meeting her friend's son.

I am worried about Dad and Mint but I have no way to contact them unless I ask one of the servants for the house phone. It's already 2am so they'll be asleep.

With my mind full of thoughts, I walk downstairs and into the kitchen. Opening the fridge, my eyes land on the beer cans. I take a few out and sit at the table. This will help me forget the nightmare.

Drinking more and more, my sobs increase. I cry my heart out in the spacious empty kitchen. Why does it hurt so much even after a month? 

Mum wanted me to find happiness. I laugh bitterly through the tears, "WHERE? WHERE THE HELL IS MY HAPPINESS?!"

"Tin?" The familiar voice asks from somewhere. 

"Tell me! Where is my happiness?!" I cry loudly.

"How many cans have you had?" He asks in shock.

"Give me my happiness!" I shout, standing up and swaying as I try to find him.

Holding onto something, I feel warm arms around my waist. 

"Let's get you upstairs." The voice says soothingly.

I thrash my arms around, "No! Let me go!"

"Shhhh, it's the middle of the night Tin."

"Let me go!" I shout, trying to free myself.

"Tin, stop it. You're too drunk. Let me take you upstairs."

As he takes me to my bedroom, I realise that I want to feel that warmth again. I want his warmth.

"Please make me happy." I say, turning to gaze at his handsome face. My hands reach up and I softly touch his cheeks with my fingers. He doesn't move away or avoid my touch and I lean forward a little. 

In my drunken state, I quickly place my lips on his cheek before giggling, "Your face is so beautiful."

My hand is still on his other cheek and I grin as I literally feel his face heat up. He is so cute. 

"L–Let's get you to bed." He coughs before turning his face away from me. I pout and wrap my arms around his broad back, jumping on to it. 

"Come on horsey! Let's go!" I shout loudly.

"You're too drunk Tin." He moans in embarrassment.

"I'm not drunk! You're drunk." I say defensively.

"Fine, fine. I won't argue with you." He sighs as he starts walking towards my bed with me still on his back. It feels good being carried around like this.

I tighten my legs around his body and bend my head down, kissing the back of his neck. "Good horsey."