Chapter 8: Gluttony for Violence

Three years ago...

At the tone please record your message...

Sent to voicemail again, Suiren didn't bother leaving a message. Smashing her thumb against the red icon she hung up and she threw her phone against her bed with an agitated huff. Achilles had left and she knew it. She'd felt it when her phone flashed four o'clock and he hadn't so much as sent a text giving her an ETA. Suiren glanced at the clock on her night table, 6:25. The flight was at 7:00... she felt a sharp pain against her chest as the knot in her throat squeezed tighter drawing out the tears glazing her eyes.

"He left," she whispered to herself before giving way to sobs.

Suiren could count the times she'd sincerely sobbed since she was 8 on one hand. Now there she was feeling like such a fool. She had been a fool for falling in love with him, a fool for trusting him. She had been honest in her feelings whilst he had only seen her as what? That summer's entertainment. His summer project. Her sobs and lamentations were suddenly interrupted by shouting downstairs. Suiren felt her body jump in surprise as she caught her breath. They're at it again. She heard glass shattering. She hurried toward the staircase. Sitting at the top steps she was able to see yet another episode of violence. Cracking her knuckles she began chewing on her bottom lip, she thought she would never have to see this again. She thought Achilles would take her away from all this. Achilles had come into her life like a hero, her champion and in the end abandoned her.

With her knees brought up to her chin she watched that all too familiar scene transpire. On the floor, her moms hands up in front of her face, streaks of mascara mixed tears on her cheeks as she cried for him to stop. His alcohol induced rage numbing his senses while his slurred insults continued to batter her just as much as his fists. Suiren despised him... but she was disgusted with her. Disgusted with her gluttony for violence. Her insatiable hunger for the attention of that man even if it meant enduring constant thrashings. That woman with no desire to live in peace voraciously clinging to a man who would never change. Suiren couldn't help but think of all the times she could've taken them away from that, heaven knew they had the chance. She kept her gaze intent on the woman that should've provided security and despite of the brutality of that scene Suiren had again been witness to she smiled.

Her mother deserved it....

Feeling a bitterness rise from her stomach she stopped chewing on her lip and bit down hard. Her lip felt hot as the metallic taste of her blood lingered on the tip of her tongue.

"Hey asshole!" Suiren shouted running downstairs. "Why don't you just kill her already?!" She shouted.

Her stepdad loosened his grip on her mom's arm causing her to thud against the hardwood floor.

"What did you call me?" He demanded stepping over his wife.

Suiren felt her throat run dry. She had only intervened on his explosive episodes twice and both times had ended exactly the same. Suiren getting her share of a thrashing and the cops not doing a damn thing about it since her mom would deny it all and he was a decorated officer on the force. After the second time Suiren had gotten beat she'd asked her mom why they couldn't just leave, a discussion concluding with Suiren on the receiving end of a sharp slap across the face.

This time she didn't care, she had nothing to lose. If Officer Terry decided to beat the life out her than so be it. She swallowed hard, her heart pounding in her ears.

"An asshole! And her..." she stuck out her index finger toward her mother who'd dragged herself toward the couch. "...She's an idiot for staying with you all these years!" Suiren shouted blinking away the tears that fell anyways.

"Cállate(shut-up) Suiren don't talk like that!" Her mother snapped.

Suiren stood there frozen as she heard Officer Terry break into a loud laugh. His laugh filled the house, it wasn't amused laughter, no, it was canned and mocking. He suddenly stopped looking back at Suiren.

"I thought you'd learned your lesson years ago but seems you forgot huh kiddo." He said moving towards her.

Suiren felt her body begin to shake. "S-s-stay a-away from me." She stammered.

She saw his eyes darken as he smirked, "Or what? You'll call the cops?" He taunted.

She saw the blood on his shirt. Looking back at her mom who sat there cradling her bloody hand and the shattered glass around the coffee table she also caught a glimpse of the shattered bottle of Jack Daniels. She saw him stumble as he made his way toward her. Perhaps his drunkenness could also be her saving grace and she could make a run for it. Suiren turned to run back upstairs only to feel how he grabbed a fist full of her hair and yanked her down from the second step. She wailed stumbling backwards into his chest.

"Where are you off to in such a hurry kiddo," he taunted giving her hair another pull as he wrapped his arm over her shoulders.

"Let go!" Suiren shouted biting down into his arm.

He instantly let go, "You little-" he groaned.

Suiren took advantage of the small edge she had created for herself and ran upstairs. She heard his heavy steps behind her.

"You ungrateful bitch."

She heard him yell after her as well as her mothers desperate pleads. Suiren ran to her room locking the door wielding little results as He burst in shoulder first cracking the door from its hinges. Suiren walked back trying to put as much space as she could between them. He stumbled over her suitcases.

"Planning on leaving you little ingrate," he slurred as he threw them aside.

In desperation she began throwing everything she could get her put her shaking hands on. "Get the hell away from me!" She shouted. She felt trapped as she felt her back against the cool window.

"Don't you ever forget that without me you and your mother have nothing," he smirked charging in her direction.

Suiren froze in place as he hurled towards her. She heard the sound of her head thudding against the window. Officer Terry seemed to get further and smaller, her eyes went wide and wild as she realized what was happening. She grimaced feeling the shards of glass pierce her skin like knives being jabbed through her body. She squeezed her eyes shut as she felt a rush of cold wind pushing behind her, almost an unearthly feeling. As her body's fall came to a painful halt she slowly opened her eyes and tried to move. Her body protested feeling heavy as every inch of her body was screaming in pain. It was fall but summer refused to leave granting them the last of the warm evenings but Suiren could not feel its warmth instead she laid motionless and shivered. Her eyes searched, above her the night sky and all around her a blur of vibrant blue. She thought she heard a neighbor scream. Tears forming and making their way down her face she blinked in an attempt to focus her vision she noticed the hydrangeas all around. In the distance she heard sirens, everything seemed so loud. Colors seemed to bleed as she laid there, blue and purple streaks surrounded her. Head pounding, her eyelids heavy she didn't dare move. And suddenly everything went black...

In the distance she heard the sound of a steady beep. She felt dead, but her eyes demanded to open. Heavy eyelids slowly lifted allowing her to fully take in her surroundings. Cream walls, no cracks, no peeling, not dirty just plain cream and an insipid green curtain matching the seat cushion on the two chairs under the wide window. Groaning she tried turning her attention to IV stuck in her arm only to find her neck movement restricted. She let out a helpless whimper as she raised her hands to her neck feeling a brace around it. As the monitor's steady beeps began to speed up she felt her chest tighten.

Suddenly she was face to face with Professor Avenzzano trying to hold her hands still and gently shushing her.

"Professor?" Suiren questioned taking a deep breath trying to calm down.

"Si bonita(Yes, beautiful) I'm here," she answered in a low comforting voice. The professor let go of one of her hands to cup Suiren's cheek dragging her thumb affectionately across her cheek.

"What happened?" Suiren asked her voice cracking.

The professor shushed her gently, "Shhh and breathe hun, just breathe. You're okay now."

Suiren gasped as she made failed attempts to steady out her breathing. Wide eyes looked back into the Professor's calm, sympathetic green eyes. Suiren let out a breath and slowly nodded. "Wh-what happened?" She asked again.

The professor squinted her eyes at her and frowned. "What do you remember?"

Suiren drew her eyebrows together. "My mom and Terry were arguing and the window shattered and... and hydrangeas."

The professor let out a breath, she reached over and kissed the top of Suiren's head. "I don't want you to worry about it anymore okay, you're coming home with Eros and me."

"But I-"

"No, there is no arguing about it. There is no way you're going back to that house. Your home is with us now, focus on getting better and nothing more. Eros has already gone to fetch your things, he should be on his way back now."

There really was no arguing with the professor, Suiren knew that. She took a moment to look around the room, no trace of her mom at all, she couldn't go back home Suiren knew that well enough. Yet again her mother had chosen the miserable life Terrance offered over her own daughter. In the entire world there were only two people she'd wanted to see at that moment and they'd both abandoned her. She let out a defeated sigh. It felt like something that was never suppose to bend had been bent but she was grateful for the professor and Eros.

Suiren reached out and squeezed the professor's hand. "Thank you," she whispered allowing the tears that had filled her eyes to freely roll down her cheeks.

The professor smiled as she wiped her tears away. She opened her mouth to say something only to have the sound of balloons rubbing together interrupt. Behind the mass of balloons stood Eros with flowers and a bag of fast food.

The professor frowned, "Really Eros, she's in the hospital and you've brought her that?"

"I know Suiren and they're definitely not feeding her enough." He made his way further into in the room dropping off the balloons by her bedside. Placing the flowers on the bedside table he turned to face her dropping the bag of food on her lap. "Now let me get a good look at you," he said narrowing his eyes.

Suiren let out a slight chuckle, "There's not much to look at, I look like I was pushed out of window."

Eros wasn't deceived by her apparent humor, he knew it was only a veil for the hurt her eyes refused to conceal. He took in her damage; the brace around her neck, cuts all over her arms, a few on her face, and a particularly nasty looking wound right above her collar bone. "You look terrible Ren," he cracked a smile. He wouldn't pity her, she wouldn't have liked that.

She sighed, "I feel terrible and hungry." She opened the bag of food he'd dropped on her lap and pulled out a wrapped burger. "No tomato right?"

"Never for you," he replied sitting next to her. "Listen I went to your house and found your luggage."

Suiren stopped chewing and slowly raised her eyes to see the professor who gave her a sympathetic smile. She shifted her gaze towards Eros and swallowed. "Where is he?"

"Spain," Eros answered tracing his index finger over the bandage on her arm.

Suiren nodded slowly, "So he did leave after all." She grimaced from the pain in her body and the sting she felt in her eyes. At that point she didn't know what hurt the most, if her beat up and broken body or the painful void she suddenly felt knowing Achilles had turned his back on her.

Her vision fogged she didn't care if Eros and the professor saw her cry, she didn't care if they looked at her with pity. She was pitiful after all, not even her own mother was at her bedside; so why would Achilles be there? He came in as her champion, her hero, but it had been nothing more than a self inflicted delusion. Achilles never physically hurt her, he hadn't so much as laid a finger on her even when she challenged and pushed him. Instead he'd pummeled and bruised her heart and yet she cried angry tears hating herself knowing that if he were to walk right through her hospital room door she'd cling on to him and beg him never to leave her behind. How was she any different from her mother then? Was she also a glutton for violence, a glutton for suffering?

🌸

Achilles sat at in the kitchen, his absent-minded stare directed to the spot Suiren had earlier stood chopping vegetables. He drummed his thumb rhythmically against his coffee mug.

"Well dinner was fun," the professor chimed as she walked into the kitchen

"Oh yeah? Which part, the bit where Suiren displayed her full contempt for me or when she acted like I wasn't there?" He sighed sinking his chin into the palm of his hand as his elbow rested on the counter.

She laughed in response, her laughter carrying over the sound of the coffee grinder.

"Mom I got you a Keurig so you wouldn't have to go through that entire process," Achilles noted nodding towards the coffee machine.

"I enjoy the process of brewing coffee, the aroma of grinding coffee beans just fills the entire kitchen," she closed her eyes and inhaled, "Achilles it's all in the process understand?"

Achilles sighed, "Yes but Suiren is not coffee beans to be ground, she is the woman I love."

"Yes and you hurt her," the professor stated as she added hot water to her moka pot. She clicked her tongue and turned to face him. "Have you apologized, have you explained why you left without her?"

Achilles sighed and stood upright, "I've just apologized that's all that I could get through."

She let out a judgmental hmm

"Que?" (what)

"Nada, nada (nothing) its none of my business," she shrugged

"She hates me ma'," he defeatedly admitted.

As she poured her coffee into her mug she shook her head. "Sometimes pain and hurt are just disguised as anger and hate. It is a process to win someone's trust and their heart back." She walked over to Achilles giving his arm an affectionate squeeze. "All you have to do is be honest and patient."

"And on that subject of honesty why didn't you nor Eros tell me that bastard had pushed her out of a window?" He asked

She took a sip of coffee and shrugged her shoulder. "Wasn't our story to tell and she asked us not to tell you."

"You guys didn't think it was something I should know?"

"Mijo' for what?" She asked and added, "Would you have come back as soon as you heard?"

"Yes," he answered without hesitation.

"Really? Your father would've asked questions," she raised her eyebrow quizzically.

Achilles sighed as he looked back at his mom who seemed to just pry all the truths out of him. He found himself unable to answer when his father was brought into the mix.

🌸

Suiren laid on her back staring up at the ceiling when Eros knocked on her door.

"You awake?" He asked through the door

"Yes," she replied simply

He slowly opened the door to find her on the floor. He chuckled, "Why are we on the floor?" He asked sitting next to her.

She opened her mouth to answer only to have none of the words come out. She shook her head. "I want to hate him Eros," she finally spoke.

"And you don't," his statement a fact.

"Yeah I don't," she replied her voice small.

Eros looked down at her. Her gaze focused on the ceiling but as she blinked a tear escaped the corner of her eye. He reached over and caught it before it ran down her cheek. "You still have feelings for him?"

"He stirs a lot of emotions and it confuses me. Am I suppose to really believe he came back for me, that this entire time he always meant to come back?" Suiren turned her head to look over at Eros only to find him looking back at Achilles who stood by the door.

Eros looked back at Suiren, offering a small sympathetic smile he stood up. "I'll let you guys talk." As he walked out he offered his brother a small pat on his shoulder.

Suiren stood up and faced Achilles who continued to stand just outside the door.

"Well do you plan on standing there the entire time?" She snapped a little harsher than intended.

"Wasn't sure if I'd be welcome," Achilles answered stepping inside. Things were as he remembered, she hadn't changed anything about the room.

"This is after all your room, I've only been borrowing it," Suiren shrugged as she sat on the desk chair.

"I like it this way," he commented looking around at her things.

"I didn't change anything," she shook her head.

Achilles moved over to the bed sitting at the edge of it. "I meant that it's filled with you, I like that my bedroom is full with your things."

Suiren's felt her breath hitch and her stomach drop to her knees. She let her eyes trail over him fighting the urge she felt to be wrapped in his arms. Blinking away her gaze she cleared her throat, "What do you want anyways?"

Achilles sighed, "I want you to just listen, I owe you an explanation." He paused and noted that she'd began to pop her knuckles. "Suiren I love you and I loved you back then, your background didn't matter to me. I saw passed your issues at home and who you pretended to be-"

"Buuut you still left," she pointed out, "without so much as a goodbye."

Achilles clicked his tongue, "I know! I regret leaving the way that I did, I should've explained." He pinched the bridge of his nose, "I didn't know how to tell you, I was engaged."

"What?" Suiren's eyes went wide and her mouth hung slightly open.

"My dad arranged it, it was more of a business alliance than anything else."

"You're lying," disbelief framing her face. "Who even does that anymore?"

"He does, Bunny," Achilles replied sweetly.

Suiren shook her head. "Okay suppose I believe you, so what? You left me because you went to get married?"

"No, I went to learn the business, take over, and explain to him I wasn't going through with his arrangement."

"And you left me because?"

"The kind of people I was around-they would have judged you without knowing you-" he shook his head, "I just didn't think you would be able to handle it. I believed I was saving you from the wolves..." he explained and realized she'd been dealing perhaps with worse. "...except I left you caged with a lion instead."

"Oh you were protecting me?" She asked with sarcasm. "Sounds to me you were around some very important people and I would've embarrassed you."

"You're twisting my words," he slit his eyes at her.

"No I'm reading between the lines Tiger Paws, I don't understand why you would've asked me to go with you and without explanation leave me behind," she spat raising her voice. "Your reasoning doesn't make any sense."

He stood up, "I didn't plan on falling in love with you, okay. You were young and I took advantage of that adoration you looked at me with-"

"I did not!" She protested knowing full well she did in fact look at him with adoration.

"I really thought it was better that way, it was a stupid move." He dug his fingers into his hair, "If I had seen you one last time I wouldn't have been able to let you go!" He sighed, "It was selfish- I was selfish."

Suiren sighed and shook her head unsure of what she was suppose to say.

"I know this is a lot," he acknowledged, "I just needed to apologize and explain as unreasonable as it may be at the moment I thought it was right."

Suiren sat there he knees up to her chin just soaking up everything he'd said to her.

"I-" she finally spoke up, "I just don't know what to say anymore." She admitted looking up at Achilles.

"Don't say anything," he replied softly. He stepped closer to her cupping her cheek in his hand. He leaned in and kissed her forehead. "I'm sorry Bunny," he whispered.

She pulled away. "Achilles I meant what I said, I want you to leave me alone I don't have time for games."

He sighed, he knew it wasn't going to be that easy. "You're going to deny your feelings for me?"

Suiren clicked her tongue. "What feelings?"

"Are you telling me you feel nothing for me?" His left eyebrow flicked upward in its usual inquisitive way.

She averted her eyes down towards the carpet. "Yeah that's what I'm saying," her response sounding more like she was trying to convince herself.

"Try looking at me and saying that," he teased.

She was easy to read whenever he was around and she hated it. The corners of her mouth dropped as she looked up at him with a scowl. "I'm saying I don't have feelings for you," she managed to say through her teeth.

He leaned into her, "Lies."

"What do you know," she pushed him back and took the chance to get up from the desk chair she'd been sitting on.

He closed the gap between them and wasted no time dipping his head in for a kiss. Her lips were as he remembered soft and fleshy, he'd held back enough and couldn't help it any longer.

Suiren stayed still with eyes wide but soon the familiarity of his lips, his scent, and his warmth completely enveloped her. She fisted his shirt in her hands pulling him closer to her as she parted her lips.

After a moment he slowly pulled away from her. Looking down at her lips, red, swollen and slightly parted. She had the look of surrender as she kept her eyes closed. He smirked, his sloppy kiss had left his saliva all over her mouth. She had been right he was no hero, no champion, he was a conquistador and she the only thing he needed to lay claim to. His intention was to do just that as he tightened his grip on her shoulders and pulled her closer into him. A soft moan escaped her as Achilles plunged her right back into bliss with another deepened kiss.

Suiren felt his need as she dreadfully became aware of her own. She pulled away from him and took a step back. "You should leave," she mumbled.

"So that was nothing?"'

"Attraction isn't love Achilles. Just because I think you're handsome doesn't mean I like you. Just because we kissed doesn't mean I want you around."

He let out a breath in disbelief. Nodding his head he said, "Alright Bunny attraction isn't love but it's a start. At least you're done ignoring me now."

As soon as he'd shut the door behind him she collapsed on to her bed. She was upset with her self for letting him kiss her and for kissing him back, she was suppose to hate him— then again he had apologized. Her mind in turmoil she took her laptop out and continued to work on her novel. It was upsetting that her encounters with Achilles had seemed to shoo away the writer block she'd been trapped in the past two weeks but finally her novel could move forward, finally there was some inspiration even if she wasn't fond of the source. She had set her heart on getting even with Achilles so as she typed away she began to think of all the possible ways she could hurt him.