Chapter 10 – Unforgiveness to one’s self

Third person POV

 "Oh, you guys are back," Gen said to Reina, Nato, and Nato's squads. "Good job out there."

 "Yes, we did," Nato responded back on his squad's and Reina's behalves.

Then, Gen noticed Mara and Martha with them. "Are you two survivors, too?"

 "Yes, we are," Mara replied back.

 "Are you the one whom Reina killed?" Martha asked.

 "Yes, you two knew Reina-kun, too?" Gen asked them.

 "Y-Yes," answered Martha back, "we were his childhood friends from elementary."

Mara then nodded. "Our names are Mara and Martha Buenavista. We are from the Philippines."

 "Yes, they are," Reina added.

 "Ah, okay," Gen replied back, before looking at the two women. "Nice to meet you two. My name is Gen Yamashita, and I am the leader of this organization. Welcome."

Arashi then bowed his head as a greeting to Mara and Martha and on Gen's behalf.

 A bit later, all of them are in the headquarters' break room eating an early lunch. Reina was quietly eating his rice and sardine meal while trying to contain his inner guilt and regret. At that meal, Mara and Martha asked Gen about what Reina did to him and if that was true.

 "Yes, it was," replied Gen back calmly and briefly. "Actually, I asked him to do it."

 "What?" Mara gasped.

Gen then nodded. "Yes, because…"

He looked down a bit in guilt. "…I was responsible for the zombie virus outbreak in the first place."

Mara and Martha were shocked even more that someone that took them in was also the one who was responsible for the zombie virus, too.

 "No way…"

 "It can't be!"

Nato then responded to this, "Yes, and he asked Reina-kun to kill him so he could be free from his darkness and suffering."

Mara and Martha couldn't believe it, and Reina has shown his guilt towards them while eating his meal.

 "It is my fault, after all," Gen replied back, "but unexpectedly, Reina saved me, and now, he was suffering from the consequences of his actions towards me, up to the point of feeling of not deserve to live."

Reina then finally looked at his childhood friends. "Yeah, it's true, amigos. Sorry about that."

 "It's okay, Reina," Mara replied in assurance.

 "We understand," Martha added.

Because of that, Reina began to tear up of being forgiven, prompting one of Nato's squad members to stand up and try to calm him down with a hand towel.

 "Woah, it's okay, Reina-kun," Gen responded to this, "please don't cry."

Reina was still crying, but that one is quieter than the first couple of seconds.

After a bit, he stopped crying and sniffled, before finishing his meal.

 All day, Mara and Martha comforted Reina in his guilt during his rest time. Gen and his men went back to their usual helping work against the zombies and the zombie outbreak. Gen is not yet even close to the possible cure for the zombie virus. His path towards it is still long.

 Then, week 2 came in, and Gen noticed something about Reina: he couldn't get over his past guilt, as if he couldn't forgive himself. Behind his positive face lies a still unresolved guilt that was still simmering within him. Gen realized that Reina felt unforgiveness to himself and also realized that Reina's killing of him was deemed unforgivable for Reina. Thinking that this feeling would ruin his friend's well-being even further, on their nightly bedtime together in Reina's room, Gen asked him if he still couldn't move on from his guilt. "Yes, still…" Reina replied as he felt the guilt weighing over him like a heavy barbell.

 "I see…" Gen understood that fast as lightning, "…also, do you feel as if you couldn't forgive yourself?"

Reina then slowly nodded. "Yes…that one is basically unforgivable…"

He then leaned on Gen, attempting to feel his usual warmth.

In response to this, Gen wrapped his arm around Reina. "It's okay, I am here for you. If you couldn't forgive yourself for that, then I understand. Your feelings of guilt are way heavier for you to handle and forgive yourself."

He then paused for a moment to gather his words, then continued on, "In fact, I felt bad for you more than for myself for killing your parents."

Reina was a bit surprised to hear that, so he looked at him. "Really?"

Gen then smiled. "Yes, I do."

He gently stroked Reina's right arm to comfort his emotional distress.

Mara and Martha saw that from outside of Reina's room and were happy that both of them are getting along with each other so well.