chapter 15 ( Happy but afraid)

Li Qi went on time to visit the therapist; he was excited and full of mixed feelings, and started his conversation with

"Do you know what happened?" "I went to her; I went to her, and she accepted me." "I told her I had made a life change. I went to college, quit my old job and my whole old life, and told her I was going to be a different person. We talked, and she accepted me. She agreed to be my friend, and we ate together. She said she'd be happy to assist me with my academics if I needed anything. Can you believe this?"

Li Qi was stammering at some words and repeating some words. His emotions were extremely conflicted, and he was speaking very fast and impulsively.

"I can't believe this is really happening; she believed me." She believed me. How did she accept me like this? I can't believe myself; it seemed impossible, but it happened. How did it happen? I'm happy, very happy, but afraid."

Li Qi finally took a deep breath. which gave the therapist an opportunity to ask him,

"Afraid of what?"

Li Qi answered,

"Afraid that she would change her mind, or that I may do something that upset her so that she would change her mind, or if that was a dream, or that I am hallucinating, or all of that was unreal, when I was with her, I was afraid that it might be a dream or hallucinations, and it doesn't exist." But how do I hallucinate when I don't take any drugs or drink alcohol? Moreover, I'd like to ask you: am I here now? Isn't it true that I came to you? I'm here now, and you're here, correct?"

The therapist replied, "

"Yes, you're here, and I'm here too."

Li Qi said,

"I've come to you today to ask you a question. I'm not hallucinating, am I?

"You're definitely standing in front of me now and not hallucinating," said the therapist, with great perplexity in his voice.

Li Qi continued impulsively.

"She took a photo of me with her cell phone, and she said I was cute, and then she came closer and took a photo of herself with me and said I'm very handsome, am I handsome?" No one said that before; she sent the photo to me, and I brought it for you to see. I doubt that maybe I'm not in the photo or that she's not in the photo. Would you look and tell me if I am in the photo or not?"

Li Qi then handed the therapist his phone after taking it out and revealing a photo inside. The therapist gave it a look and said,

"You're in this photo with a woman, yes."

Li Qi asked again,

"Am I in the photo?"

The therapist answered,

"Yes."

"And she's in this photo with me?" Li Qi said.

The therapist confirmed,

"Yes."

Li Qi said,

"Yeah, she said I'm handsome and cute." No one told me that except my college mate. He told me that before! Everyone used to say, "I'm terrifying, and my face is scary."

The therapist replied, "

"Because you're not the same person now."

Li Qi said straight away,

"She said that too. She says I am not the same person. When I asked her how she could possibly accept me, she answered the same as you said. But did my features change as well? "

Li Qi put his hands on his face.

The therapist replied, "

"The shape does not change, but the facial expressions do." "Your facial features change with your emotions, and the looks in your eyes change according to your thoughts."

Li Qi finally sat down on the chair and said,

"I am grateful to you that you advised me to do this. I'm overjoyed, but as much as my happiness, I'm also worried about losing her."

The therapist said,

"Don't be afraid. All that is required of you now is to focus on your new life and cut off the connection with anything that brings you back or reminds you of your old self. You can live a new, happy life. Focus on your studies and try to get to know and understand your friend, and you will not lose her. But my advice is to avoid taking any intimate steps with her, try to prolong the friendship period as long as possible,and if she wants to get physical with you, tell her about your condition. Tell her the truth; do not run away or lie to her; be honest with her; make her your partner; and do not keep secrets because this may provoke doubts or misunderstandings. Ask for her help; do not be shy about it. Take your time. Usually, couples take time to get used to each other before they reach intimacy. It is normal to wait a while for your mutual understanding to grow. Enjoy the first stage of love from holding hands, kisses, and walks. Try to open your heart to her and make her open her heart to you so you can learn about each other's habits and thoughts. This is a stage you did not go through with her. Live it now with her until the feelings of familiarity between you deepen and everything comes naturally and on the spur of the moment."

Li Qi replied,

"I will listen to your advice, because your words were true and your advice has helped me very much so far. I am really grateful to you. What can I do for you? Can I get you a gift? How do I thank you?"

The therapist smiled and said,

"Don't thank me; that's my job, which is why you came to me." By the way, you didn't tell me how your nightmares are?"

Li Qi replied,

"It's been over since I was accepted into the university."

The therapist commented,

"That's magnificent, but I hope you don't stop coming to visit me, come to chat with me, consider me a friend, and tell me any concerns and worries you have; don't incur them or hide them; just come here and talk about them with me."

Li Qi nodded and said,

"Yes, I will come." I'm going to leave now and I'm sure we'll meet again."

Li Qi stood up, and the therapist smiled at him, saying, "Alright."

Li Qi headed to the door, but then returned to the therapist's seat and extended his hand to shake the therapist's hand; consequently, the therapist stood up and shook his hand.

Li Qi said,"Thank you." Then he left while the therapist sat smiling, feeling that he had accomplished something great.