She is outside..

It's been a while and I don't know if I should go to the university or not. Actually, I am not afraid of others seeing me like this. I am only afraid of Linyi seeing me like this, a depressed girl with a sad face is black and white. Actually, I was born with this depressed face. I didn't want to be depressed. My mother also didn't want me to see me like this. So, she decided, she would find a way to make me normal. She did. She found one doctor who could cure all diseases. At least, people said so. My mother took me to the doctor. At first, I didn't believe that the doctor could cure me. I thought he was only spam. But then the doctor said something that showed me hope.

"You're daughter can smile again. But I don't know if you want to use the method or not." the doctor said to my mother.

"If my daughter can smile again then I am willing to do anything." my mother was being impatient.

"Your daughter will not be completely normal. Your daughter will smile every time and only think positively. She will have to take the happy pills." that sentence. The same sentence came out from the doctor's mouth. I would never forget it. Happy pills- It was a very popular topic back then. It was known as a drug and is banned everywhere. People ould think it is a deadly drug, but they don't know that people take it just to be normal like all the people. They take it cause they want to fit in the crowd. They don't want to be left aside. And I am one of those people.

Back then, my mother disagreed and was about to take me away when the doctor said I had to take the Happy pills. But I was the one who stopped her. I made her understood that I want to be like the others. I want to be happy no matter what it costs. My mother could not decide anymore and agreed.

I will never forget it. It was the incident that changed my life. Before I would be bullied saying the ghost girl but after taking happy pills they would bully me saying I was a possessed girl. But I am happy even though I got bullied cause I met Linyi. I am also grateful to Lu Yao cause...Well. How do I put it? Actually, Lu Yao helped me to keep a big secret. He-he-he knows I take happy pills. Yes, he knows I take happy pills. When he first knew I took happy pills I was afraid he would tell me to everyone, but instead, he came to me and asked me what made me take the pills. I told him my story and also showed him my true self. He promised me that he would not tell about it to anyone. And he kept the promise. He acted like nothing was wrong and that I was the same person he knew before. I am so grateful to him. He has done me such a big favor. If he would tell everyone my secret back then then I would not be here today. I would have been despised and thrown away long ago. I would not have a chance to stay with Linyi. I would not have been able to know my feelings towards her.

Before I even know tears start to roll down my eyes. I have never felt so helpless before. I sit right in front of the wall in my bedroom. Crying all alone. As I am crying, more and more memories of her and me came across my mind. That one time, when I forgot my P.E uniform in high school. She gave me her uniform and took the punishment for me instead. I could not believe it back then. On my birthday she bought me a dress the same as hers. She said that whenever we hung out we could wear the same dress. Seeing that Lu Yao even bought a pair of trousers and a t-shirt similar to the dresses we wore. I laughed so hard back then when I saw Lu Yao in floral trousers and a t-shirt. He looked like an old tour guide in hawai. I and Linyi teased him for the whole day. And on another day, Linyi brought me a handkerchief that she knitted herself. I was so happy. But when I saw her hand I cried on the spot. She had both hands bandaged. She tried to cheer me up saying that she cut herself while cutting the vegetables. But I knew that wasn't a knife cut. She had pricked herself while knitting the handkerchief. The handkerchief felt so precious to me that I still have it. I put it inside an iron box that had a rose pattern in it. It had a velvet cover inside. When I stood up and went to get the box, I saw the book next to it. I then remembered the pictures the book had shown. It was the same thing that happened to me right now. I slowly sat down and picked up the book. It was at the same place I had thrown it. At the corner of my room. Somehow I felt kind of scared so I picked up the book and ran towards my bed. I sat on my bed. I was about to open the book to see what would happen next. Suddenly I heard a knock on my door. I wanted to see the book to see who was knocking on my door. Cause I don't want to open it to strangers. Even though I have a peephole on my door. I turned the book pages searching for the page where there is the picture of the moment that is happening right now. I was searching for the page and there found it. I could not believe it, so I ran to the door and peeped through the peephole. It was the same person shown in the book. It was really Linyi.