Chapter 5-Ryan

I tossed my pen on the desk, leaned back in my chair with a heavy sigh, and rubbed my hands over my face. Hannah was home. I still couldn't believe that. And I really couldn't believe how she'd been coming on to me. All I had to do was say the words, and I could have her any way I wanted her. My dick twitched at the thought. Groaning, I adjusted myself then stood, glancing at the clock on the wall. Five minutes, and then I was headed home.

"Hey, Ryan." Jace knocked on the open door and peeked his head into my office. " A bunch of us are heading down to Groupers for some pizza and beer. You in?"

"Nah. I made plans with Hannah." That wasn't exactly true, but I had no idea how long she planned to stick around, and I wanted to spend every moment I could with her. And I was still waiting for her to tell me the truth about why she was home.

Sure, I believed there was a guy involved, but every instinct in me screamed that there was a lot more going on than just a broken heart.

"Cool." He nodded. "Will she be here for the party this weekend?"

"Yeah. Kennedy is coming home, too." I couldn't wait to see my little girl. The time between her visits were getting longer and longer.

"All right, well, I'll see you tomorrow then." With another rap of his knuckles on the door, Jace left.

I shut off my computer, stuffed my ledger into a drawer, gathered my jacket and keys, and headed out.

It was much chillier now than it had been a few hours ago when I'd run out for lunch, and there was a light drizzle. I hurried to my truck and sped home, refusing to acknowledge why I was so damn eager to get there.

It was stupid to even entertain the idea of being with Hannah, but it was all I'd been able to think about since she'd shown up two days ago.

Part of me wanted her to go back to college so she wasn't a constant temptation within my grasp, but a bigger part of me couldn't stomach the thought of her leaving.

I pulled into the driveway and killed the engine. My heart was in my throat as I climbed the steps and opened the front door.

Loud rock music blasted my ears, and thick, cottony webs assaulted my face when I stepped inside. I moved the fake spider webs aside and walked further into the house.

"Hannah?"

She popped out from the living room. "Oh, good. You're home. What do you think?" She held out her arms and grinned.

The banister was wrapped in black and orange spider garland; pumpkin lights lined the entryway between the living room and kitchen. Skeletons, ghosts, witches and every other creature associated with Halloween were meticulously placed and hung around the house. "You did all of this?"

Hannah nodded. "You're having a party in two days, and there wasn't a single decoration, so I fixed that."

I laughed. "It's great. Thank you."

"Come here. There's something I want to show you." She grabbed my hand and dragged me into the pantry. She'd decorated in here, too, with multi-colored lights and scary movie props. There were two chairs in the middle of the small room. "Sit," she ordered.

I did as she said, and then she sat on my lap. Instant fucking erection. This was not good. "Hannah..."

"Oh, just relax." She gave me a dirty look then wrapped her arm around my neck. Tentatively, I put my hand on her waist. She grabbed something from the nearby shelf. "I found some of Kennedy's old camera equipment, so I created our own photo booth. Smile.

" A quick flash blinded me. In the next instance, she was off my lap. "I wired it so as soon as the picture is taken, it will print here."

"Wow." I stood and looked over her shoulder at the picture she held of us. "Impressive."

"I'm thinking about going to the mall tomorrow and getting some props so people can have fun with this. What do you think?"

Her cheeks were rosy, and her eyes sparkled with excitement. I couldn't remember the last time I'd seen her this happy. I smiled. "I think that's a great idea."

"Yay!" She clapped her hands. "Please tell me you have a costume."

"I do." Although my brilliant idea to put on a pair of cowboy boots and hat and call myself a cowboy seemed lame now with all the effort Hannah was putting into this party. Looked like I was going to have to make a stop at the costume shop tomorrow on my way home. Hopefully they still had some good costumes left, but with it being so close to Halloween, they probably didn't. "Are you hungry? I thought we could go out and grab something tonight."

"Oh, I already made dinner It's in the oven."

My eyes widened. "You did?"

"Yeah." She walked out of the pantry, and I followed her into the kitchen.

The enticing scent of pasta, spaghetti sauce, and melted cheese filled the room. "Smells good. What did you make?"

"Your favorite." She slid on a pair of oven mitts and opened the oven door to give me a glimpse. "Lasagna."

"Y'know, you keep doing stuff like this and I might not let you leave." I leaned against the counter and crossed my arms.

"My master plan is working then." She turned toward me and grinned.

I tilted my head. "You are planning to return to school, aren't you?"

She shrugged and looked down, refusing to meet my gaze. I pushed off the counter and approached.

Putting my hand under her chin, I tilted her head back so she had to look at me. "Hannah?"

"I really don't want to talk about this, okay?" She pulled away and walked out of the kitchen, leaving me to stare after her.

Clearly, I'd hit on a sore subject. Running home because some jackass had broken her heart was one thing. But coming home with no intention of finishing school was another. I walked into the living room to find her on the couch, knees tucked to her chest.

"Hannah?" I sat beside her and placed my hand on her leg. "Whatever it is, you can tell me."

"It's so embarrassing." She groaned and buried her face against her knees. Her hair fell around her, hiding her beauty.

Gently, I brushed her hair over her shoulders. "Talk to me, honey."

She was silent for a few moments, and then she lifted her head. Her eyes were red, but she wasn't crying. "There's more to the situation with Brendan than I originally told you."

"Yeah, I kind of figured." I settled onto the couch. "I'm all ears."

"We didn't simply grow apart." She adjusted so her legs were tucked beneath her, and her arm was propped on the back of the couch. "We were getting pretty serious, and I invited him to come home with me to meet you."

I clenched my jaw but remained silent.

"But he always had an excuse as to why he couldn't. So, then I started hinting around at meeting his family. He never invited me, though, so when he went home on Friday for fall break and left me behind-again-I was pissed. Kennedy suggested I drive to his house and surprise him." Hannah laughed bitterly.

"She made it sound like the best idea in the world, and I stupidly bought into how romantic it would be." She shook her head.

My stomach knotted, and I leaned forward to rest my elbows on my legs. I needed to know what happened so I could help her, but at the same time, I didn't want to know. I couldn't stand the thought of anyone hurting her.

"I show up at his house, and he's surprised to see me. But not a good surprise. He's livid, tells me to leave, that I never should've shown up." She took a deep breath, and I didn't miss the small hitch.

I wanted nothing more than to wrap my arms around her and tell her everything would be okay, but doing so would give her the wrong impression.

And now, more than ever, I needed to keep boundaries in place.

"Then, some girl walks out. At first I thought it was his sister or something, but then she called him babe and put her arm around him. That's when I saw the massive fucking diamond on her finger."

"What?" I jerked up and stared at her. "He's engaged to someone else?"

Hannah nodded. "He'd been with her the entire time he'd been with me. Apparently, he was bored at college and decided to "experiment" until graduation, figured his fiancé wouldn't ever find out." She ran her hand through her hair. "I left without giving him the chance to explain.

Went back to campus and cried to Kennedy for days." Hannah smiled sadly- "She told me I was better off without him."

I curled my hands into fists then relaxed them. Once. Twice. "My daughter is pretty damn smart."

Hannah didn't even crack a smile let alone laugh. "I couldn't let it go, though. I obsessed over it."

And she obviously still was. "I'm sorry, Hannah. Brendan is a total fucking jackass."

"I just feel so stupid for not realizing it sooner."

"Don't do that." I put my arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer. "This is not your fault."

She rested her head on my shoulder and sighed. "I know, but it's still embarrassing. I mean, how many people knew? How many of his friends that we hung out with knew I was just some side fling for him?"

"I don't know." I pressed a kiss to the top of her head. "But if any of them are smart, they'd be telling him how badly he fucked up."

"I fucked up, too, Ryan. Big time." Hannah angled her head back and gazed up at me.

Acid churned in my gut. "What did you do?"

She swallowed hard and lowered her head. " I was furious with him, and I wanted to hurt him as badly as he'd hurt me. So." She blew out a breath and rubbed her palms on her legs. "I had revenge sex with his uncle. Who also happened to be a professor."

"What?" I had to have misheard her. "You slept with a teacher?"

She nodded.

"Because he was Brendan's uncle and you wanted to get even with him?"

She nodded again.

"Wow." I rubbed my hands over my face, trying to process what she just told me. Of all the things she could have told me, I was not expecting that.

"It gets worse." Her voice was barely a whisper.

I glanced at her.

"When Brendan found out, he was pissed. So, he decided to get even with me." She hung her head. "He told the dean. His uncle was fired, and I was expelled."

"What?" I shouted and stood. "You were kicked out of college? As in, you can't go back?"

"Yeah."

"Jesus Christ, Hannah." I paced. This was not the type of behavior I ever expected from her.

"I'm sorry." Her voice cracked.

I couldn't dignify that with a response. Anger and disappointment bubbled up like lava. I'd been saving for Kennedy's college fund since the day she was born. But Hannah? I'd taken a second mortgage on my house to be able to send her to college, because God knew her parents weren't going to help her. And his is how she repaid me? By getting kicked out of college?

"I'm really, really sorry. I don't know why I did it. I don't know how it got so out of hand." She stood and crossed her arms over her chest. "The last thing I wanted to do was disappoint you."

There was too much pain and uncertainty in her eyes as she stared at me. I wanted to take all that away for her. "Yes, I'm disappointed, but you're young. You're going to make mistakes." I stepped closer and took her face into my hands.

"It's how you learn and grow up." My heart kickstarted and took off like an out-of-control racehorse. "You can stay as long as you want." I brushed my thumb across her cheek and lowered my mouth, inching dangerously close to her lips.

I'd already had one small, much too quick taste of her soft lips. One more wouldn't hurt, right? I could stop at just one kiss.

The oven timer beeped loudly, snapping me out of the moment. Thank fucking God. I pulled away and straightened.

There was no way I was strong enough to stop at a kiss, and it would serve me well to remember that before I did something stupid.

"I guess dinner's ready." She attempted to move past me.

I gently grabbed her arm and turned her toward me. "Hannah, I'm sorry." She had to know how badly I wanted her and how hard it was for me to keep my distance.

"Don't be. Some people are just unlovable. Maybe I'm one of them." She shrugged "You are not unlovable," I said with more force than I intended. "I love you."

"No offense, but that doesn't count."

"Sure it does. It means I chose to love you. It counts even more."

"No offense, but that doesn't count."

"Sure it does. It means I chose to love you. It counts even more."

"Not in the way I want it to," she muttered before once again walking away and leaving me staring after her.

She was wrong. I did love her like she wanted me to, but I could never tell her that. And I sure as hell could never act on it.