Chapter 1: The Departure part 3

"Woah, woah, what's going on. *inhales and exhales sharply several times* "Ok, I'm alive. I'm alive! - and I'm stuck to this… pulling gun… whatever it is. Oh, right, um… my name is Wheatley and, well, thank you for saving me. You have no idea what I have been through these last few days. First, I was promoted a few weeks ago only to find that I'm in charge of making sure that 10,000 test subjects don't accidently die or become vegetables – crazy what they call 'promotion' right? See, I'm trying to do 'air quotes', but… your gun is holding me in the wrong direction. Can, can you like rotate the gun or something so I can do this correctly? No pressure, no pressure."

Wheatley tried moving his handles up and down in different combinations.

"Hmm, still isn't working. Anyway, turns out the only person who has at least half their bolts screwed in ends up helping me to wake up the most powerful and psychopathic robot in the facility. She ends up dropping my person down a chute and flinging me away. I catch up with my person - I never got her name – and we carry out a plan to overthrow her. Only, I, uh, ended up sending both of them down an elevator shaft - not entirely accidently, I had what you would call a temper tantrum after I gained control of the facility."

"So, somehow they both come back. I make them go through a series of tests before I try to… kill them… but they manage to make it to my lair. Then, I get sucked out to space through a portal that my person made, thinking I'm going to spend the rest of my days there with a space-obsessed core, but some hours later a huge explosion happens on the moon and a giant moonrock blasts towards me and pushes me here. As you may have noticed from my panicked yelling, I was expecting to die soon. So, there you have it, a brief memoir of what would have been the last few days of my life. Hmm, you haven't interrupted me at all while I was speaking. Just like my last person."