Chp.20: Consoling a child

Darbi and Stephanie stood on the riverbank for nearly half an hour, during which time the little girl kept touching the dragon's warm belly continuously. Darbi was pretty sure that if it weren't for the fact that even his neck was higher than hers she would have tried to climb on his back. Which technically wouldn't have been a good idea since he had very sharp spines on his back that certainly wouldn't leave a six-year-old tigermen without physical injuries.

Darbi had been surprised by how much disregard for danger Stephanie had. Any other person would have still maintained some attention while sitting and leaning against a dragon's body, yet she seemed completely oblivious to it. It almost seemed as if she couldn't tell the difference between Darbi and an ordinary little dog. But since she had come there trying to convince him to eat her, it was likely that she had completely lost her survival instinct or was completely ignoring it... or perhaps, most likely, she still hoped that at some point the dragon would turn around, opened his jaws and devoured her alive.

But now Darbi didn't know what else to do. He'd hoped Stephanie would cry after a while, or at least have a slightly more normal reaction, but her eyes remained blank. Though some light shone within them as she warmed herself with the dragon's body heat, it was still very dim. Darbi didn't have the faintest idea of ​​what to say to a person who seemed to have completely lost the will to live. Not knowing how else to start the conversation, he tried saying: "Your parents will be looking for you. They'll be worried"

"Why should they be?" Stephanie asked. "If I die, I will go to Tharon's kingdom, and everyone wants to go there. It won't be a farewell, it will just be a goodbye. And they can always have another daughter"

'By now I'm so used to this distorted logic that I no longer notice it. This little girl is in urgent need of help' Darbi thought. "True, everyone wants to go to Tharon's kingdom... but for those who stay here, it's still a separation. Even if you meet again one day, for a long time you won't be able to do it, and that's sad. Your parents cried at your brother's funeral, and you feel sad too, don't you? And it's true, they can always have another daughter, but it will never be the same, just like if you have another brother it will never be the same one you have now lost. You can't replace someone you loved"

Stephanie remained silent, but Darbi clearly felt her hands tightening on his scales. "Then why don't we all go to Tharon's kingdom?" she asked. "Why do we stand here crying, when reuniting with the people we love is so simple?"

"Well... because that wouldn't be right" Darbi answered. "What happened to your brother was… well, a tragedy. But because of that, you, I, and everyone else who survived that tragedy has the duty to continue to live. It's not your choice anymore. Deciding to die at this point would be no different than spitting in the face of those who didn't survive. Think of all those who died in this disaster: all of them had affections, loves, dreams they wished to achieve, or even entire lives that had yet to be fulfilled... and they have not had the opportunity to do so. Think of all that your brother would have wanted to do if he hadn't died. How could you show yourself to him and tell him that you, who instead had survived and you had your chance to live, chose to die? I, personally, would be very angry. Your brother missed his chance, but you're trying to throw yours away"

Stephanie's body was now visibly shaking. The little girl put her face against Darbi's belly, as if she hoped to be sucked inside. The dragon took this as a good sign; he was sure that if he could get her to vent, then she would be easier to manage. So he continued to speak: "I've heard that after every tragedy, the survivors always envy the dead. And it's true: after all, the dead feel no pain. But despite this, the survivors have a duty to carry on. Surrender... means insult those who have died. So the job of the survivors is to cope with their grief and carry on with their lives. They have to fight to rebuild what they have lost. It's the only real way I know of to truly honor those who have died. Even if it's difficult, and even if just getting up and walking seems like a titanic feat... you have to do it. Step by step, you have to go forward, no matter how heavy those steps are or how rough the road. If death wants to take you, it will have to do it because fate has decided it, not you... and you will have to fight until the last moment to avoid it taking you, or taking what you still have"

"Fight for what?" Stephanie whispered in a shaky voice, and Darbi clearly felt a viscous liquid touch his scales. "My house is gone. My friends are gone. My grandparents are gone. My uncles, aunts and cousins ​​are gone. My brother is gone, even though he promised me that he would always be there. Mom and dad seem to have shut down, they hardly talk to me anymore. I have nothing left..."

"Nothing? Does the sun seem nothing to you? Does it seem nothing to be able to see a beautiful sunrise or a magnificent sunset again?" Darbi asked her in a stern voice. "Does this river seem nothing to you? Does it seem nothing to have the opportunity to dive, swim, feel the cool water wet your limbs and soak your fur, and chase fish underwater? Does this prairie seem nothing to you? Does it seem nothing to be able to still running, jumping, walking, or even just lying on the grass and admiring the clouds in the sky? Do people seem like nothing to you, even if you don't know them? Does it seem like nothing to still be able to talk to someone, laugh, joke, cry, learn to write and to read, learn a trade, meet someone who will make your heart flutter, get married, and grow old surrounded by your children and grandchildren? Do your parents seem like nothing to you? Does it seem like nothing to still be able to wrap yourself in your mother's warm embrace, or be lifted up in the air by your father's strong hands? Is this nothing to you?"

Stephanie didn't answer, but her sobs were audible. Darbi lifted a paw and grabbed her gently by the head, pulling her away from her belly; the little girl tried to fight back, but she clearly didn't stand a chance against the dragon's strength. Finally Darbi could see her face again. A face that was now streaked with tears and whose eyes were no longer blank and numb. "Finally you're crying. Go on, it'll help you" he said, then he sighed. "Listen, I know this world can be horrible. In fact, in cases like this it's really shit. But it can also be beautiful, if only you have the strength not to give up and continue to face life with a smile. I know it's difficult, but we must do it, for those we have lost... and for ourselves too. There is much good in this world, and it is right to fight for it". He barely moved a finger, which was almost as long as her head, and wiped away some of her tears. "There was a moment in my life when even I thought I lost a brother. Then I found out that I didn't but… I believed it for a while. And it was the most horrible moment of my life, but anyway not for a single moment I thought of giving up and following him to the grave… partly because I knew he would kick me in the ass in the afterlife if I did so, but mostly because I knew how much effort he had put in creating a life worthy of that name to me and the rest of our family and giving up would have meant vanishing all that effort. So I found the strength to go on. And now you have to find it too"

Stephanie grabbed Darbi's finger with her little hands and covered her eyes with it, as if she didn't want the dragon to look at her. "I don't know how to do it" she whispered.

Darbi lifted all of her other fingers and placed them on him. The girl was so small compared to him that with one paw he could cover half of her body. "I don't know either. It's not something someone can teach. It's just something we find when we're calm, that's why we cry. Crying doesn't get rid of sadness and pain, but at least we let off some steam and then we can again think with a clear head. So... cry as much as you want. There's no shame in that"

Stephanie let out a strangled noise, then she couldn't hold back anymore and started crying her eyes out. Her knees buckled and she slid to the ground, and if Darbi hadn't held her with his paw she probably would have hurt herself badly. The dragon let her finally vent and release all the pain inside her. He didn't know how much this would actually help her, but he was sure it was far better than holding back his emotions. He wrapped his tail around her, as if to hug her, and then he waited for her to finish.

It took a while for Stephanie to stop crying, and she probably would have continued if she still had any tears to shed. When she was finished she gripped tightly to the dragon's tail, as if it could give her some comfort. Then she looked Darbi straight in the eye. "Thank you" she whispered.

"You're welcome. Can you get up now?" the dragon asked her. The little girl nodded. "Well, then let's go to your parents, who I'm sure right now will be very scared and will be looking everywhere for you"

Stephanie didn't answer, but she got back to her feet, even though her legs were still limp. Darbi got up in his turn and motioned for her to follow him. The two walked towards the ships. Darbi almost had to struggle to slow down enough for the girl to keep up with him, since her legs were much smaller than his. But despite the slow pace, they were soon back near the ships, and as Darbi had imagined the riverside was somewhat in turmoil, with numerous tigermen roaming far and wide in search of something, and it wasn't difficult figure out what. When they saw him and noticed Stephanie was with him, many immediately ran in his direction, and leading the pack were a couple who were visibly distraught. "Don't worry, she's fine" Darbi said as soon as they were close enough. "Nothing bad happened and..."

He didn't have time to finish the sentence: the pair of tigermen quickly canceled the distance between them and the man stood between the dragon and the girl, as if he wanted to shield her, while the woman quickly grabbed Stephanie and brought her at least five meters away. "Stay away from her, monster!" the male tigerman growled with a fierce expression, even though Darbi could clearly see fear in his eyes; the tigerman certainly wasn't stupid and he knew very well that the dragon could kill him with a well-aimed punch, and moreover in that moment he didn't even have a weapon with which he could defend himself.

Darbi could have explained himself, said he hadn't done anything, told what had really happened; he could have done many things, but instead he just looked at Stephanie and simply said: "See? They love you. How can you say you have nothing? Find the strength to fight for them too". And having said that he turned and walked off on his own.

He didn't turn to look once, but with his hearing he could clearly hear what was happening behind him. Mother and father embraced their daughter sighing with relief; evidently they had really been scared out of their wits when they lost her. "We thought we'd never find you again. What were you doing with him? Do you have any idea what that is?"

"But I..."

"You mustn't go near him, understand? Never. He's dangerous"

"But he was kind..."

"You can't trust him. He's not a person and he's not an animal, he's just a monster. Please, Stephanie, promise us you won't go away without us"

Darbi didn't know if Stephanie had finally promised them that or not; before he could hear the answer, in fact, he reached the river bank and plunged back into the water, disappearing into its depths.